Brookvale Idiot

The North Shore Times News crime column reported that a man walked into
Brookvale McDonalds at 8:50AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because she said she couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered a Big Mac, the clerk said
they weren't available until 10:30 am as only the breakfast menu was on
offer. Frustrated, the man walked away.

Adelaide Idiots

Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM machine in Adelaide's Henley
Street by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their
Toyota Landcruiser, but instead of pulling the front panel off the Machine
they pulled the bumper off their 4WD. Scared, and attracting attention from
oncoming traffic, they left the scene and drove home, with the chain
still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and
with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. No, they
did not use a stolen car.

Wollongong Idiot

A man walked into a Seven-Eleven, put a $20 bill on the counter and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
$20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
Fifteen dollars.

Rooty Hill Idiot

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a brick through a liquorstore window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window with all
his might. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious.Apparently, the liquor store window was made
of Plexi-Glass. And the whole event was caught on videotape, which the
store owner consequently sold for use on TV.

Campbelltown Idiot

As a female shopper exited the Campbelltown K-Mart in Queen Street, a
man grabbed her purse and ran. A shop assistant at K-Mart called the Police
immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description
of the snatcher. Within minutes,the police had apprehended the snatcher,
trying to mingle in the shopping crowd on Queen Street. They put him in
the car and drove back to the K-Mart store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and up to the K-Mart front desk and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied; "Yes, Officer, that's her. That's the lady
I stole the purse from ."

Port Macquarie Idiot

When a man attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a
Port Macquarie street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal petrol and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. He had tried to siphon the petrol by first sucking it up the
hose. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had.