Jack Schitt is the only son of Aw Schitt, the fertilizer king, and Oh Schitt, the owner
of the kneedeepin Scitt Inn.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had six kids.
Their first little Schitt, Holy Schitt, passed on shortly after birth.
Next came the twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Then they had two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, and then another son, Bull
Schitt.
Deep Schitt married a high school dropout, Dumb Schitt.
Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt, and they have one son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happen's children are Dawg Schitte, Byrd Schitt and Horse Schitt.
Bull Schitt married an Italian girl, Pisa Schitt and they had a baby they named Hawg
Schitt.
They divorced and Pisa Schitt remarried a man named Head. She now goes by the
name Schitt-Head.

If you have read this far and don't know who these people are, you probably don't
know Jack Schitt in the first place.