Notification to all staff regarding language:

Due to the politically correct movement, employees of this store must change the language they use in the presence of customers. The following is a translation list for employee reference:

No fucking way - I'm fairly sure that's not feasible

You're fucking kidding - Really?

Who the fuck are you - Hi, we haven't met..

Tell someone who gives a fuck - Have you run that by..

No cunt told me - I wasn't involved in that project

You don't know shit - You seem perplexed

What the fuck do you want? - Hello, may I help you?

She's a ball-busting bitch - She's assertive

This place is fucked - We're a bit disorganised today

Stick it up your arse - No thanks

You're a fucking wanka - You are my supervisor and I respect you

You fat fucking loser - Gee, that was unfortunate

I don't give a shit - I'll certainly think it over