I think it's time for some women jokes (not that womn are a laughing matter, I knew one once)

"Why did God create women? Because a beer can't cook supper!"

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

Why did God make man first? Because he didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.

A Wife is a woman who:

  -can dish it out but can't cook it.

  -dresses to kill and cooks the same way.

  -has a made-up face, serves heated-up dinners, charges-up bills,

  and has a fed-up husband.

  -is a husband's bitter half.

  -sticks with her husband through all the troubles he would never have had if he hadn't married her in the first place.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Shirley, pack up your

things! I just won the Opera House Lottery!" Shirley replies, "Shall I pack for warm
weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the
house by noon!"

Feminists--first they burn their bra and then they want support!

Feminism: A socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to
leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and
become lesbians.

Why do Japanese Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs? So you can tell them apart from
the feminists.

Husband--One who has several small mouths to feed and one big mouth to listen to.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months--I don't like to interrupt her.

A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to
lunch or to a movie?

My wife ran off with my best friend..I sure do miss him!

What do you call an intelligent woman in Britain? A tourist.

How do you blind a woman? Put a windscreen in front of her face.

Adam to Eve: "Hey! I wear the plants in this family!"

In the midst of a quarrel, the wife bitterly yells at her husband, "I was such a fool
when I married you." Retorts her husband: "That's so true. But I was in love and didn't notice."

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

My wife's cooking is so bad that we pray after we eat.

Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie." Husband: "Which is
this?"

How many women does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw
them.

How do you keep a woman from wanting sex? Marry her.