Note: Will be edited on an ongoing basis for spelling, grammar, content and to make sure that everything flows.

In the Beginning
I grew up in a religious home. I was an altar girl, went to Sunday school, went to church on a regular basis, joined youth group, became a reader and commentator at mass. I had a happy, normal typical religious childhood.

An Interest in the Unknown
In Junior High, I developed an interest in the supernatural. I wrote school reports on the Bermuda Triangle and witches. I also had knowledge of evil and Satan by growing up in a religious environment.

The Darkened Path
Near the end of junior high though high school I started to listen to heavy metal/thrash music. I was obsessed with the X-Files when it came out in 1993. I would revolve my life around it. I even missed my high school grad dinner/dance because it was on the same night as a new episode of the X-Files (which I don't regret).
I slowly got into the gothic lifestyle by wearing more black clothing and hiding from the light. I would close the blinds when it was sunny and open them when it was cloudy or nighttime. I would also close the blinds at school.
My interest in the occult and Satanism grew and I read books about the topic in Grade 10 and 11. Two English projects for school were about Satanism or murder. I was very into David Koresh standoff. I would read and cut out newspaper articles, buy books on Koresh and his group, watch the news for updates on the standoff and buy magazines with article about Koresh and his group and read books about true crimes. I didn't join a cult but I did have friends who knew people that could get me connected but these friends did not provide contact info to me because they cared about me and my safety.
I was very into the whole alternative music scene when it came out in the early 90's. This lead to exposure of depressing and pessimistic lyrics.
I was quite depressed and suicidal. Close friends and family members worried about me a lot and they didn't fully trust me during this phase due to what I was thinking and what I could do. My school grades did not suffer but I was emotionally and psychologically unstable. Many of my classmates were afraid of me because of my interest in the occult. I would wear heavy metal shirt, black clothes and an inverted pentagram Slayer pendant to school. But I was lucky that I had friends, family and school staff that were concerned for me and supported me though sometimes I just wanted to be left alone.

The turning point was the middle of the first semester of Gr. 12 in 1995. There was a priest who helped me out. I was supposed to meet him after he said mass. I arrived at chapel as he was ending mass so I sat at the pews. Later he told me that he saw a spirit with me as I was entering the chapel and when I sat down it went away. I believe that this spirit was a dark spirit. I had to stop reading and watching the news and stop watching The X-Files for a while though it was my favourite show. I basically had to avoid things that were dark and depressing. During my recovery, I knew I needed a new path to follow, one that was psychologically healthier and more spiritual.

Heading towards the Light
I wanted a deeper, more personal relationship with God but didn't know where to look. I had a desire to practice biblical teachings in practical ways but didn't know what that really meant or how to do this. I also wanted to be with people around my age who truly loved Christ and had a desire to learn more about Christ's teachings.
I become a Christian in Gr. 12 (Jan. 1996). I felt clarity and true direction entering into my life and knew that having a personal relationship with Jesus would change my life. And it has. I'm happier, worry less, pray more, read the bible more, trust Christ in all aspect of my life. I got more involved with religious activities at school and with youth ministry.
I joined Campus Crusade for Christ during my first year at university and for the first time I was with a group of people who really loved Christ, who wanted a deeper relationship with Him. I cried while singing songs during my first fellowship meeting because I was so moved by the lyrics and you could feel God was their with us.
God has blessed me in all areas in my life such as work, school and relationships/friendships. I know that everything will work out for me because I trust Christ with my life.

Continuous Revelation
In university (1996) I got into the goth scene. I believe it was Satan's way of trying to lure me back to the dark path. I left the goth scene in 1999 and I didn't like black as much any more and started to have happier thoughts.
I threw away most of my rock and alternative CDs, took down all X-Files stuff from my room walls and removed fantasy/sci-fi posters. I still don't like sunny days because I find it too bright because of the sun's glare, it's too hot and don't find sweating attractive. I will always prefer the night because it's quieter, I like the stars, it's a more philosophical and romantic.
I got into a bit of New Age and the enlightment side of Buddhism but my focus was on Christ. I still watch X-Files because it is my favourite show. When the episode does talk about the occult, it's a reminder that evil is out there and we need to be careful.
God has been constantly revealing to me things I need to change, barriers that need to be removed so I could have a deeper relationship with Christ. Feelings or urges would come to me, such a changing my black background of my homepage to a non-black colour or deleting certain MP3s from my music collection and stop watching certain TV shows that I use to like.
I have dream occasionally about the occult and Satan, symbolic and physical battles between good and evil, running away from Satanists, defending myself from Satanist etc... I'm sure that I wouldn't dream of these things if I stayed away from the dark path during my youth.

I've been reading the Bible in French and Italian to keep upt with multi-lingual skills.

The spiritual life I'm living is not religion as an institution or something that is forced upon you but a life based on hope and unconditional love from Christ.

Possible Misconceptions About Christians
There are groups that exhibit cult-like behaviour such as controling the lives of members, cutting off contact from family and friends not part of the group, making you spend all your time with the group. For more in go to
We do regular activities like see movies, go shopping, go to concerts, go out for coffee, play sports, watch TV etc...
We are like everyone else, the difference is how much faith we have in Christ and how much we trust Him.
We don't all preach and read the bible on the streets out loud. We understand that following Christ is a personal decision and not a decision someone makes for you. Only the Holy Spirit can change the heart of a person.
Not all Christian music is church or hymn music. There's praise and worship music, Christian alternative and pop music. Check out Zjam or type "contemporary Christian music" in a search engine.



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