“It’s ok sweetie,” Arianna comforted her daughter. “It’s ok…”

“No it’s not!” she moaned again, almost drowning in her tears. “It’s not…”

Arianna could feel her eyes grow watery as she listened to her daughter confess everything about the dares…the change…everything EXCEPT Christmas and her pregnancy.

“Look if Lance broke up with you (she refused to say the word “dumped”), then maybe he’s not for you.”

Jessica sat back and shook her head. “But he was! He just got everything messed up!”

“Look honey…just give him a couple days, alright? He’ll come around.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

Jessica’s lip quivered and she threw her arms around her mom. “Now I know why I love you guys so much.”

Arianna smiled. “It pays off.”

She sniffed and stood up. “I’m gonna go take a nap…I think I need one.”

“Yeah might as well.”

RIING!

“I’ll get it,” Arianna said quickly.

Jessie smiled and trudged towards the stairs.

“Hello?” Arianna paused. “This is her mother.”

Jessica’s head snapped towards her. “What?”

“Oh my goodness. Is he all right?”

“Who is it?!” Jessica cried, desperate to know who it was. It couldn’t be…

“We’ll be there.” Her mother hung up.

“What? MOM!”

“It’s Lance.”

Before she could utter another word, Jessica was out the door.

*-*-*

“Where is he?!” she shrieked at the secretary.

“I’m sorry, it’s family ONLY,” she hissed back, tired of Jessica’s bitchy attitude.

Jessica stared at the woman, ready to collapse. “Just…please…call someone up there…his mom, anyone, please. I have to see him.”

“I’ll tell you what,” the secretary Caitlin said slowly. “I’ll give a call, and if they know you, then you can go.”

“Thank you so much,” Jessica tried to smile.

*-*-*

“Mrs. Bass?”

“Yes?” Diane sniffed.

“Do you happen to know a Jessica Stang?”

“Yes, I do.”

“She’s here to see Lance.”

“Send her up.”

Diane looked back at her son. A large white bandage covered his forehead- which wasn’t very white anymore, a fractured shoulder, an IV stuck in his wrist, and cuts and bruises all over. The doctors said it was lucky and that he only had minimal damage.

Within the next ten minutes, Jessie had run up and was in the door, panting. She looked up and said a brief hi before she saw Lance.

“Oh my god…Lance?” she whimpered. She collapsed into a chair and started sobbing. “I’m sorry.”

“Sweetie it’s ok.”

Diane gasped in surprise when she felt Lance’s fingers curl around her hand.

“Lance? Lance sweetie wake up,” she whispered, tightening her grip around her son’s hand.

“Ugh…mom? Mom what happened? I was driving and-” Lance turned his head and his eyes narrowed. “What’re YOU doing here?”

Diane stared at her son in shock.

“I-I was worried about you,” Jessica whispered, subconsciously shrinking away from his bed.

“Yeah right. You wanted to put me through more misery, didn’t you?”

“Lance…” his mother warned. “What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with her!”

“James Lansten Bass!”

“No, it’s ok Mrs. Bass,” Jessica said quietly. “It was my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Sure as hell you’re sorry.”

That’s when she snapped.

“Look you,” she spat. “I told you that’s how it STARTED! After that…after that date…I knew I was wrong. I forgot all about that stupid dare. Do you know…do you know how much I care about you?”

“If at all,” Lance muttered.

“So basically you’re saying,” Jessica said, “that NONE of it meant ANYTHING to you?”

“No.”

Diane gasped and stared at her son. What was going on?

Jessica looked as if she was physically slapped as she forced herself to keep talking. “Not even Christmas?”

The blonde looked away. “No.”

She tried to repress the lump that was building inside her throat, attempted to keep her tears at bay.

“That night meant everything to me,” she whispered. When he didn’t even look at her, she suppressed a sob. “Goodbye Lance. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

“Jessica you don’t have to-”

“She said she wanted to leave Mother.”

“He’s right,” she sniffed. “I do want to leave.”

Just as she was about to walk out the door, she turned around.

“You would’ve made a wonderful father Lance.”

She left without another word.

*-*-*

“JAMES LANSTEN BASS WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?” Diane cried.

“You don’t know the whole story.”

“Know the whole story?! KNOW the whole story?!” Diane stared. “I may not know the whole story, but I know that she truly does care about you!”

Lance just stared at the wall.

“Look at me. LOOK at me!”

He felt like he was a little kid being scolded for taking cookies out of a cookie jar.

“Lance, I love you, you know I do. But this…” she closed her eyes and shook her head. “This isn’t what I expect of you.”

“She lied to me.”

“That does NOT excuse your behavior you know that!” She paced. Then she realized… “What was she talking about when she said you’d make a good father?”

Lance stared at her. He searched his memory. And searched. And searched. It hit him like a ton of bricks. “Christmas,” he choked.

“What about Christmas?”

“Mom-”

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “You are not my son. My son would have never done this.”

And two became one.
*-*-*

Lance sobbed. What had he done? He basically acted on his emotions, not logic. He basically kicked his girlfriend out the door. He had basically betrayed everyone- but most of all himself.

He knew he had to see her.

*-*-*

“Mom?”

“Yes sweetie?” Arianna called from her office.

“I’m gonna go talk to the posse,” she called back, using the nickname for their little group.

Arianna chuckled. “Sure sweetie. Don’t be gone after 11.”

“Thanks mom. I love you.”

“You too honey.”

Jessica took a good look around, turned around, and left.

For the last time.
*-*-*

“When can I get out of here?!” Lance growled.

“Tomorrow morning.”

“What?! I need out NOW.”

“Sorry no can do,” the nurse replied. “You have to stay in bed. Those things aren’t just gonna heal when you want them to.”

Lance groaned and fell back against his bed. He couldn’t even feel the bruises. Couldn’t he just leave?

Apparently not.

*-*-*

She stared down the edge of the cliff. Would she jump? There was nothing left for her now.

“How could I have been so stupid?” she moaned. “I’ve lost everything…”

She shivered in the bitter cold. The perfect day to jump- no one was crazy enough to go out.

Seemingly she was wrong.

“Hey! What are you doing?” a voice called to her.

“Go away!”

“What are you doing?” the voice said again.

It was getting closer.

“Please leave me alone,” she begged.

“I can’t. I won’t let you.”

“You won’t let me what?” she mumbled, knowing full well what he was talking about.

“Jump. You’re going to jump.”

“Yeah what does that matter to you?”

“Don’t jump.”

“Why not? I have every reason in the world to.”

“No you don’t.”

“Name one.”

“Your family. They’ll miss you, won’t they?” he asked, sitting down on the bench.

She just stared at the ground below. “Yes of course they would. But that’s not why I’m jumping.”

“Then why?”

“A couple months ago…my friends dared me to date this one guy…to stay with him for three months. So I did. Then after a while…I started to like him…a lot. And somehow, he found out about the dare…coincidentally, I asked to talk to him the day the three months was over. He thought I was going to dump him. He drove away. Then he crashed. I went to the hospital,” she choked back sobs, never wondering why she trusted this stranger. “And he basically kicked me out of there too. I never got to tell him…I never got to tell him anything.”

“Anything?” his calm voice said.

“I never got to tell him I loved him,” her body racked with sobs. “I’m p-pregnant…with his kid…and I never got to tell him.”

His heart went out to the girl on the cliff. She had so much to endure. He could see why she thought of jumping. He got off the bench and hugged her. That was all it took.

“God why? Was it that wrong to lie about the dare? How did everything go so wrong?”

He looked up at the sky, feeling his eyes water. “It’s ok.”

“Why does everyone fuckin tell me that?!” she cried, breaking away from his embrace. “Guess what?! It’s not!”

He thought quickly. Then he recited, “It’ll be ok in the end; if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”

Jessica dropped down to her knees. “How can it be this hard?”

He knelt down in front of her. “You can survive this. You can do this. If you jump, you’re not giving yourself a chance.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because…I think about jumping, I think about suicide. But I never do it. You know why?”

She shook her head.

“Because there’s so much to live for. You’ll never be able to sing, dance, paint, goof off, drive your car, talk to your friends, have a job or have kids…ever.” He was growing nervous now.

“Look…I’m sorry…” she waited for his name.

“Brian.”

“Brian, I’m sorry for wasting your time…but I’m going to jump. I can’t live this anymore.” She inched towards the edge.

“Fine. Jump. See what I care,” he said, standing up, praying with all his might that it would work.

“What?”

“You can jump…or you can go home.”

“I can’t go home,” she spat. “I already did what I had to.”

“Fine then.” He knew he was going to have to answer many questions, but then he said, “You can jump, or you can come with me.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re crazy.”

“I’m not the one who’s jumping.”

Many silences passed as she stared at the ground.

Jessica started to weep again. “I’m sorry…”

*-*-*

Next day…

“All right James…you can gather your things and you’re outta here,” his doctor, Dr. Meiusi, said.

“Thank you,” he said, grabbing his coat with his good hand.

He just about ran to the nearest bus stop, making sure he had enough cash. He paid the fare and waited…

“Thank you so much,” Lance said, getting off the bus.

He started to jog towards her house.

‘What should I say? I’m sorry? Yeah…maybe that’ll do it. Pssh yeah right Lance… she’s probably so pissed at you right now she won’t even look at you’

He reached the house breathless. He rang the doorbell. Several times actually.

The door opened and he rushed in.

“Sorry Mrs.-” Lance flew back.

“SON OF A BITCH!” she shrieked.

Lance looked up from his position on the floor, his shock and pain covered by confusion.

“You…you…JACKASS!” she fumed, coming closer.

“What are you talking about?”

“YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER!!”

After those words, Arianna collapsed in tears as Mark tried to calm her.

“WHAT?” Lance stared, open mouthed.

“Read,” Mark said coldly, throwing a piece of paper at him.

With shaky hands, Lance picked up the note.

Mom, Dad-
I don’t know where to start. I guess a safe place would be I love you. You’ve been there for me everyday, every crisis, even when you were at work. I can’t thank you enough.
I’m sorry. Really I am. But I can’t take it anymore. With Lance…all these misunderstandings…I can’t take it anymore. Everything is going wrong.
I never told you…but…I guess there’s no easy way to say this, but to say you’re going to be grandparents. Well, you would have…
Again, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. I guess it all ended up in hurting myself didn’t it? Lance was right…it was my fault.
Words can’t express how much he means to me. He’s…he’s everything. I’ve lost everything. There’s nothing left for me…I thought it over, really I did. I know this is for the best…for me, Lance…I’m sorry.
Tell Lance I’m sorry…tell him I love him for me please. I never got to tell him that myself.
Don’t worry about me. I’ll be ok.

Your Princess Forever-
Jessica

*-*-*
…Epilogue…

Soft wind…echoing cries of all sorts- sadness, disappointment, joy, relief…none of it was for her. But it would be ok in the end. She knew it would.

If you knew what I knew,
You wouldn’t have said what you said
If you knew what I knew
We’d be together instead
Of you breaking my heart
Over things that aren’t true
My lady…oh lady yes my lady…
If you knew what I knew

-Backstreet Boys, If You Knew What I Knew