It happened again and again. The emails kept popping up, letters from an unknown sender got sent to her, even when she moved into a new apartment, they found her; freaky phone calls. She was going to break at any possible moment, she was sure of it. So she tried to keep herself busy, taking on 3 part time jobs. Brian’s parents were getting worried and offered to watch her son when she seemed to be stressed- which were a lot these days.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” they asked one day.
“Yeah I’m sure, just a few tough days at work is all,” she said exhaustedly. She was always tired.
“Jess I think you should relax or sleep or something,” Brian said worriedly. “It’s not like it’s going to kill you.”
There was a brief silence on the phone; it was short, but Brian picked up on it immediately.
“What’s wrong? Jess?”
“It’s nothing Bri I promise.”
“Don’t promise unless you mean it.”
Another long silence.
“J c’mon. I’m your best buddy in the entire world! You can tell me anything.” Brian hoped she’d spill about her problems; he wanted her to be mentally well.
“I…it’s…he…”
“Does it have something to do with Lance?”
“N-no…”
“Kyle?”
“No…”
“Then who- oh… Jess…what’s going on?”
“Rok what’s happening?” Nick asked.
Brian shook his head and shrugged at his younger friend. “I don’t know,” he mouthed.
“He…Bri…it’s happening again…”
-;- -;- -;-
“What is going on? This is INSANE!” Nick cried, waving his arms in the air, nearly whacking Kevin in the eye.
“Watch it!”
“I don’t know,” Brian said, his voice muffled by his hands, which were running over his face.
“Would you like to clue us in?” AJ asked, his eyes darting back and fourth.
“Are you sure you want to know?” Brian asked through his hands.
“They don’t have to know!” Nick snapped, his frustration lashing out at his friends.
“Nick, sit,” Kevin said sternly. “I think we all need to know what’s been going on. Obviously it’s something bad, Nick is evidence.”
The blonde glared.
“Nick, think of it as a way we can help,” Howie coaxed, making sure no more of his anger burst.
“I think it just might help…but you can’t tell her you know,” Brian said carefully, slowly.
“We PROMISED HER!” Nick shouted angrily. “You said you’d never tell anyone.”
“I know but…I just…I don’t know what else I can do!” Brian cried helplessly. “I mean, I would never tell anyone if I knew what to do! I’m not there, I can’t help her! I just…”
“Well we’re never there either, how is telling them going to help?” Nick shot back.
“I DON’T KNOW!” Brian shouted. There was an echoing silence. “Is that what you wanted Nick? My best friend is in trouble, and I can’t help her. I just want to TELL SOMEONE ok?”
His anger gone, Nick just looked away, too stubborn to give in.
“She’s in trouble?” AJ asked.
The Kentucky native nodded, still staring at the ground.
“Well then, you should tell us.”
Brian sucked in a breath. And out spilled the story.
-;- -;- -;-
“You’ve got mail!” Lance said in his deep voice, imitating the voice on AOL. He tossed some letters to each member.
“Yay I got a letter!” Joey said, opening the envelope.
Justin looked up and grabbed the envelope lying on lap. He started holding it left and right singing, “I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I just got a letter, wonder who it’s from!”
JC laughed and picked up one of his. He looked up, confused. “Why are these warm?”
“One word: ANTHRAX!” Chris cackled, looking through his letters. “Hey… these are dated year 1998! What the hell?”
“We have a lot of fan mail,” Lance said simply.
Chris screwed up his face, but then shrugged, reading the rest of the letter.
Lance sat down and picked up a letter stamped first-class. “First class? Lets see…” To his surprise, the date was only 2 days ago.
Lance-
I think you remember me. Of course you would, seeing as you stayed at my house. Now, let’s get down to business: stay AWAY from Jessica. She’s mine. She doesn’t love you- she told me so. She loves ME. I don’t blame her either. You’re a fat ass son of a bitch, so just stay away from her, and leave us alone. You’ll hear from me soon.
-Brian
His fingers shook as he put the piece of paper down. His green eyes glazed over with his salty tears, which were hastily wiped away.
‘I should have known. I SAW it…how did I fool myself into thinking she loved me?’ he thought bitterly to himself.
The laughter of the other 4 men was broken when they heard Lance wasn’t laughing, and saw his face, his green eyes boring holes into the paper of his letter.
“Lance? Hey what’s wrong?” Joey asked.
“Um I think I’ll be going back to my room…” Lance said shakily.
“Ok, that was screwed up,” Chris said once the blonde left the room.
“Anyone wanna go find out what’s wrong?” JC asked.
There were no volunteers.
“Why is it always me huh?” JC sighed and got off the couch.
-;- -;- -;-
“And today… she told me it was happening again,” Brian finished.
No one said a word.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I think we should tell the goddamn POLICE!” AJ yelled.
“No way are we getting police into this- you don’t know what this guy is capable of. But all I know is that he has something to do with SOMETHING, I mean, he wouldn’t just go out and do all that kinda thing for no reason.” Brian paused. “Did y’all get that?”
“I think I did,” Howie said. “But why the hell would anyone want to go after JESSIE of all people?”
“That’s the goddamn PROBLEM,” Nick said, leaning back and crossing his arms. “No one WOULD.”
-;- -;- -;-
“Lance?” JC said through the door, rapping against it with his knuckles. “Lance, open the door.”
There was no answer so JC used the keys they all had and swiped it. The light turned green, and he opened the door.
“Lance? What’s wrong?” he asked concernedly.
The blonde looked up and JC closed the distance between them, giving his friend a hug.
“You’re crying. Tell me what’s wrong, please.”
Lance just held out one shaky hand, letter extended to him.
“Is this it?”
Lance nodded.
JC took the letter and read it. His eyebrows scrunched up, a sick sinking feeling in his stomach. “This is bullshit.”
“No it’s not. Can’t you see? It’s TRUE.”
“It’s not true, it can’t be. She loves YOU,” JC said over and over, shaking his head.
“No she doesn’t,” Lance choked, holding back his tears. “She doesn’t.”
JC opened his mouth to speak, but he snapped it shut. “How bout you take a nap, I’ll tell the guys to leave you alone, ok?” JC offered compassionately. ‘No wonder they want me to do these things’
Lance nodded thank you. “Thanks for being my friend Jace.”
“It’s no problem,” JC smiled.
He left the room and went to show the other guys the letter.
“What the fuck? Who made this shit up?” Chris cried, eyes leaving the note.
“How can he believe this?” Joey asked, yanking the piece of paper away and scanning it. “If this is just Brian fucking with Lance’s head, I swear I’ll-”
“Whoa, whoa, lets not point fingers you guys,” JC said immediately.
“What? You think someone just sent it to him?” Justin asked. “Obviously it has to do with something.”
It was Chris who spoke their fears.
“What if it’s true?”
-;- -;- -;-
“Are you ok Mommy?” Lance asked.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m fine,” Jessica assured her son. “I just need some sleep, that’s all.”
“Why don’t you take a nap?” he asked.
She let out a short laugh. “I don’t have time honey.”
Truth was, she was scared to sleep. Every time he got in contact with her, he always said he’d strike sooner or later. Her question was… when?
Due to Lance’s short attention span, he forgot about it. “When can I talk to Dad?”
“Right now,” she said, hoping calling him would relieve her some.
She dialed his cell number and waited two rings before someone answered.
“Hello, Lance’s phone.”
“Joey?”
“That’s me.”
“Can I talk to Lance please?”
“He’s sleeping right now… I’ll tell him you called.”
“Thanks Joey, um I guess I’ll talk to you later then right?”
“…Yeah.” He hung up.
Jessica stared at the phone in puzzlement. “Oh…kay…”
-;- -;- -;-
“BOO YA GRAMMA!” Nick shouted, making the basket.
“LUCKY SHOT!” Brian yelled, grabbing the bouncing ball and shooting.
“GUYS WE GOTTA GO!” Kevin shouted. “HURRY UP ROK OR WE’RE LEAVING YOU HERE!”
“Nnoooo!” Brian groaned in a low, moaning voice, running in slow motion towards the bus.
“Hurry up dumbfuck we’re leaving!” Nick laughed, slapping Brian in the head as he jogged to the awaiting vehicle.
“Ouch! That hurt!”
“I’ll say sorry later, get your pansy ass in the bus!”
-;- -;- -;-
“KEENA!!!”
The brunette walked down the halls, looking for the blonde girl.
“Keena where are you?” he sang, looking in rooms.
“Chris, come on she’s not here!” Joey said, walking slowly behind his friend. He turned his head to look down a hall and found Makena tiptoeing away. “Makena!” he whispered.
The figure froze and spun around. “Shh!” she hissed.
Joey shrugged and walked away. “Chris, she’s not here!”
When Chris turned around, Joey made quick signals to show where she was. Chris grinned evilly and continued calling out, “KEENA!!” as he walked briskly towards the hallway. Then he took off at a run, surprisingly silent as he nearly gave her a heart attack when he grabbed her.
“AAAH!!! RAPE!!!!” she screamed.
Joey burst out laughing at Chris’ panic-stricken face as he tried to cover her mouth and tell her who it was.
“You bastard!” she shouted, pounding his body with her fists.
“Ouch! Stop it!” Chris said, covering his head with his arms.
“Kena really, we need your help,” Joey tried to say between bursts of laughter.
She paused. “You need my help?”
“YES!” Chris squeaked.
“Why didn’t ya say so?” Makena asked, lowering her fist, allowing the short brunette to stand.
“I don’t know…”
“Then I would have only punched you in the gut once!” Makena shouted, elbowing Chris again.
Chris fell to the floor in exaggerated pain, writhing on the ground and clutching his stomach, gagging noises coming out of his mouth.
Makena giggled behind her hand.
All at once Chris stopped his actions and craned his neck to look at her. “Did you just… giggle? At ME?”
She rolled her eyes and kicked him. “Yes I did you dumbfuck.”
He stood up and dusted himself off as if nothing happened. “My life mission is accomplished.”
“You are such a…MORON.”
“For lack of a better word,” Joey added.
“Exactly.”
Chris threw a defiant stare at his companion. “ANYWAYS…” he said, clearing his throat. “We need your help.”
“For what?”
“It’s about Lance,” Joey said softly.
“You couldn’t get him to do your bidding?”
“Seriously,” Chris said solemnly.
Makena looked at Joey. Then Chris. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s not talking to us!” Joey cried. “He WON’T talk to us.”
“About what? What’s going on?” she asked, frustrated that they didn’t get to the point. “Tell me something here you guys!”
“He got a letter,” Joey started.
“A nasty letter,” Chris added.
“And it was from Brian.”
“Supposedly.”
“And it was talking shit about Jess-”
“Sayin that she didn’t love him.”
“And saying that-”
“She loves Brian instead,” Chris said.
“So he believed it.”
“And is totally depressed.”
Makena’s eyes darted from each one to the next. “So…basically, some Backstreet character is tryin to make my friend feel like shit?”
“SUPPOSEDLY it was him,” Chris said again.
“Whatever.” Makena rolled her eyes. “So… which is it? Real or bullshit?”
“That’s the problem. We don’t know!” Joey sighed.
“Here’s the letter, since you’re gonna talk to Lance.”
“Whoa, hold up, REWIND!” Makena’s eyes were wide. “Why do I have to talk to him?”
“DUH! You’re his best friend!” they said in unison.
She gave an exasperated sigh and shrugged. “I’ll see what I can do.”
-;- -;- -;-
Makena knocked on the door of Lance’s dressing room softly. “Lance? Lance are you in there?”
“No.”
She opened the door and entered the small room. “Ok Lance what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Lance… come on, I know you better than that, and you know it.”
“God Kena leave me alone ok?” he snapped unintentionally.
She blinked and stepped back. “Well, if you’re gonna be that way, Mr. Bass, I think I will,” she retorted heatedly.
The coldness of her voice bit at him and tears welled in his eyes. His better judgment took over, telling him not to lose anyone else. “Makena,” he whispered, his voice sounding broken.
Her hand on the doorknob, she softened and went to embrace her friend. “Oh god Lance I’m sorry.”
“I just don’t know what to do…I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“Don’t worry Lance, I’m right here,” she whispered, holding his head on her shoulder. “It’ll be ok, you’ll see. She loves you and it’ll be all right, just wait.”
Makena’s blue eyes burned through the wall with her compassionate determination. “I’ll make you smile again, even if it’s the last thing I do.”
-;- -;- -;-
“What happened, did he believe you?” Justin asked as soon as she stepped inside the room.
She sighed and plopped down onto a puffy couch. “I’m trying, but I don’t know how this will work out. If I know him, which I do, he’ll be depressed for a little bit, but I’ll slap some sense into him.”
“Thanks Kena,” JC said gratefully. “For once, I can’t be the one who helps him, ahem,” JC coughed, glaring at the others.
“It’s not OUR fault you’re good at these things!” Chris defended.
“Well it’s not MY fault you guys AREN’T.”
-;- -;- -;-
Jessica sighed and fell onto her bed, exhausted and sleep deprived.
“Why me?” she whispered to herself. “Why did it have to be me? What did I ever do?”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the red numbers- 11:34. ‘Ugh’
“Some sleep… that’s all I need…” And for once, her eyes closed, and she relaxed.
-;- -;- -;-
Riing! Riing!
“No…5 more minutes,” she groaned, her hand to her aching forehead, the other groping for the phone.
“’Ello?” Jessica said groggily, not yet awake.
“May I speak to Jessica Stang, please?” the feminine voice asked over the line.
“This is she.”
“Do you know a Brian Littrell?”
“Who wants to know?” she asked suspiciously.
“Maybe I should introduce myself. I’m Makena, Lance’s friend, remember me?”
“Uh yeah, hi. What do you need?” Jessica asked.
“I want to ask you a real quick question.”
“Sure.”
“Do you love Lance?”
The question took her by surprise. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“That’s a silly question.”
“Well do you, or don’t you?” Makena asked.
“Of course I do!”
“Are you sure?”
“…Yeah… why do you want to know?”
“I’m just making sure…you’ll be hearing from me.”
And the line went dead.
-;- -;- -;-
“Jess are you ok?” Stephanie asked, grabbing her arm. “You look ill.”
“What? No I’m fine,” Jessica panted, grabbing her towel and wiping off her wet face.
“You’re dancing a bit too hard… I think you should sit down.”
“Steph come on, I’m just trying to get this right, ok? Just leave me alone for a while… I’ll be fine,” she assured her.
She was reluctant, but she left and talked to her friend Felicia.
Jessica chugged down some water and wiped off her face. To be honest, her legs felt so tight she was sure she’d trip, and her lungs felt about to explode with her heavy breathing.
Forcing her legs to move, she found some space to work out a certain part of the choreography. About 30 seconds in, she lost her balance…
And collapsed.
-;- -;- -;-
“Jess…Jess are you alright?”
“Ungh… wha-?”
“Oh god you’re ok, everyone’s worried about you,” he said, relieved.
“What happened?” she asked dazedly, attempting to get up. She didn’t get far, and fell back on the couch.
“Whoa be careful there Jess,” Kyle said immediately, putting his hand firmly on her shoulder, holding her down.
“What happened?” she repeated, blinking the spots out of her eyes.
“You were dancing, and all of a sudden, you fell. Darrin caught you before you could break open your head.”
“What time is-”
“You’ve only been out for about 10 minutes, don’t worry, but everyone’s gone home.”
Jessica sat up, stern expression on her face. “What? You have no right-”
“You were ILL Jess, what did you think I was gonna do?” Kyle defended.
She thought of nothing.
“That’s what I thought. I’m taking you home.”
“I can drive myself thanks-”
“No, I don’t think so. You’re overworked- come on, 3 jobs at once ain’t no picnic. We’ll worry about your car later.” Kyle stood up and grabbed his jacket and dance bag. “Well?”
“Drive me to the diner- my shift is in 20 minutes-”
“I don’t think so Ms. Stang,” Kyle refused. “You are taking off tonight.”
“What? You can’t do that, I have rent to pay!”
“You know you have more than enough money, from all these jobs you’re working.”
“But…Lance…I still have to replace everything we lost and…” Jessica stopped before she could spill about her stalker.
“Who needs to replace those things? By the time you do, you’ll be well into the ground.” Kyle crossed his arms.
There was a determined silence, and Jessica had a look of fury on her face.
“Damn you.”
He gave her a half smile. “Thata girl.”
-;- -;- -;-
“Look Mommy! Uncle Brian’s on TV!”
She smiled and laughed at his poor imitation of his favorite Backstreet Boy. What was scary was the fact that he knew the words to nearly all their songs.
“Get another boyfriend!” little Lance shout-sang, jumping around in the small living room.
“Ok Lance sweetie, stay here, ok? I’m gonna get the mail.”
Her words fell on deaf ears, for his attention was paid only to the man singing on the screen.
“-I mean it, there’s nothing that he’s worthy of-”
“And don’t open the door.”
Jessica flew down the stairs to her mailbox, grabbed the mail, and ran back up. She must have broken a record or something- when she got back, it was still “Get Another Boyfriend”.
With a sigh she let herself fall onto the couch and looked at the envelopes in her hand.
“Junk…letter…junk…what?” Her eyebrows scrunched at the messy handwriting of which she had never seen. There was no return address. Her heart rate went up as she shakily opened the envelope. “Please don’t be him…”
Jessica-
I hope this is the right house, or I’d be in big shit with Lance. Anyway, you might be wondering why I called you the other day, and I hope my behavior wasn’t suspicious. I’m only looking out for Lance.
“Looking out for Lance?” she muttered to herself quizzically. She was confused already.
Ok well the point of sending this letter to you was this: Lance got a letter that really shook him up. We’re not sure if it was real or not, but it better not be, or JC will be on you like white on rice- and not in a pleasant way either. Attached to this note is the letter that Lance got, and you write me back with your comments.
Thanks a lot-
Makena Phipps
And at the bottom, sure enough, was an address that she could be reached at. A feeling of despair rising in her stomach, Jessica flipped to the stapled page. And the more she read, the more anger and frustration she felt.
“Brian…”
-;- -;- -;-
Makena-
I’m just as confused as you are, maybe worse. I don’t know what to do! It makes sense if I really thought about it, but I don’t want this, I don’t want any of it. Even if it were fake, it would change things forever between all of us. I don’t know anymore, I’m sorry. But Brian should be visiting soon, and it will all straighten out. Or at least, I hope.
-Jessica
-;- -;- -;-
Jessica-
This is not good. You love Lance, don’t you? Please talk to Brian, it’d help tons.
-Makena
-;- -;- -;-
The clouds were gray and dark. What a way to make her feel better.
“He didn’t write them… of course he wouldn’t, Brian would never do that to me. But what if he DOES love me?”
Jessica sat in the park she had asked Brian to meet her at. She pulled her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth, whispering to herself, clutching the photo copied letter in her hand.
Too many questions, and her mind was being led into dark corners of doubt that were untouched until then. It was enough to make her go insane in her own head.
She didn’t know who she loved.
And soon enough, a car pulled in (she stood at this moment), and the familiar stature of her best friend alighted. His smile was dampened when he saw her face.
“Jess what’s wrong?”
“You didn’t…please tell me you didn’t,” she whispered.
“Didn’t what? Jess…”
Her shaky fingers handed him the letter.
With uncertain eyes, Brian read the words, in which he only understood two parts:
She doesn’t love you- she told me so. She loves ME.
-Brian
And the weight of what Jessica was trying to tell him came toppling onto his shoulders, in realization of what she must have been thinking.
“No. Jess…no…I didn’t- this isn’t my handwriting, you know that!” Brian pleaded, walking toward her.
Jessica backed away. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? How?”
For once in their friendship, she spoke words of doubt in him. And it hurt. “Jess… you can always believe me, why would I ever do anything like this?”
The clouds started to rumble.
“I…Brian, this…this is too much…I don’t know…” Jessica stuttered, holding her head in her hands, pulling at her hair.
“Jess, please listen to me! I would NEVER do that to you, NEVER!” Brian shouted desperately, praying she would believe him. “I would never want to see you so unhappy.”
The words of the letter poisoned her mind, clouded her eyes. “I…you…I don’t know! How can I be sure? HOW?” she cried hysterically. “Tell me!”
“How can you doubt me so much?” he nearly whimpered. “How could anyone ever try to hurt the ones that they trusted so much?”
Jessica’s eyes clouded over with her tears, frustrated at her own confusion. “I’m so confused…”
“Listen to me Jess!” he begged.
The next thing she knew, her hand went across his face with a deafening slap. And everything… stopped.
Brian eyes stung with tears of pain and desperation, his hand on his face.
Jessica could do nothing but stare at her hand, knowing nothing of the stabbing tenderness, only of what it had been caused by.
“Jess,” Brian choked. “Why can’t you believe me? Please believe me.” He dropped to his knees. And wept.
It was then the sky broke open, consoling the broken man, sharing their tears.
She tried to step back, and she found herself in Brian’s embrace, his arms tightly around her middle, his words of pleading still being whispered.
“I didn’t I swear it Jess, god make her believe me…it was him! It was him I swear it,” Brian cried, “It was the Scream man, I didn’t do anything!” He squeezed his eyes shut.
And it came to her dismay, he was right.
“I’m so stupid,” she whispered. Her tears were added to the mix. Her hand found his head, and she held his head in her hands.
And he knew he was believed.
His blue eyes, still glistening, showed her his relief. “You’re my best friend.”
“I’m sorry Bri, I’m so, so sorry,” she sobbed, dropping to her own knees and burying her face in his shoulder. “I’m so stupid.”
“You were confused, Jess, it’s ok to be confused,” he said reassuringly. “We’re friends again, right?”
She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. “You and me, we were always friends.”
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