Deep Anger....lots of it...And while most people would not call me an angry person, well perhaps a violent or sarcastic one, but usually not angry I am right now about as angry as I've ever been.  So the need for a rant arose.  If I have a website, why not employ it to all the joy of relieving my anger in a less aggressive way. Because I have set my Post Falls life so separate from college that I can't talk to my roommate about it.  And I can't tell anyone why I am angry specifically.  I didn't promise persay, but giving my word is about the same thing.  I said I wouldn't, so I won't.  However, I still have this deep anger.  So I have to rant.  Sorry.

I need to do something to vent this anger.  Deep, burning, passionate, pure anger.  All the good feelings and memories we once had are now at nought to me.  I won't, and I'll pray tonight to help me forgive him.

Now all this sounds harsh, but I'm really restraining myself in this.   I have to.. *note: I don't hate him now, and all has been worked out...not that we talk or anything, but there are no hard feelings* I don't even think ice cream could fix this anger right now.  Not even cookies and cream Hagen Daaz.  Nope.  Not gonna help.  So I'm gonna keep on going until I calm myself down enough to face my roommate and the rest of the people in my life who have no clue about my past or Post Falls.

I should probably focus on other things and get this out of my system.  I better get rid  of it somehow.  Hmm, hurting him will make me feel better but only temporarily.  Then I will feel guilt.  And so it's not worth it.  Forgiveness?  What do the scriptures say....

So far I've got be slow to anger, but not that you can't get angry.  Even Christ got upset once.  When they desecrated the temple.  It also says forgive, which I am going to try to do when I calm down.  I'm getting there.  The info I've found says righteous anger is justified, but not outbursts.  So I can be angry at him, but outbursts, like the one I just had, would be the wrong idea.   Okay, I think  I will be alright now.  But I feel like being angry is normal.  Like I can be angry, but that I can't act upset and childish.  See I'm getting more rational.  I think I can deal with this now...so long as I get help from the Lord...

Okay so I figured it out.  Righteous anger is the Lord's job.  Not mine.  Let him take care of it, and just don't worry about it.  Trust in him.  And I think I can.  Problem was I was so blind in my anger that I was looking for justification and not the right answers.  Wht have I learned from this experience?  Don't take things out online or even by yourself.  Talk with Lord and get help working through it.   Deep breaths.  See I'm doing better?  My goal is not to ever, ever get this angry again.  It wasn't worth it  and it still isn't.  I hate anger...more than anything else.  So I'm done with it. As a friend once said to me...go with the flow.
Anger Rant: One of the few times I've been  angry...
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