Hillo all! Welcome Party People to the Place to Be!  I am Str...Wait...nevermind....

Sorry, it just feels like it has been a while since I talked to anyone from Post Falls or elsewhere.  But I need to right now, because I need some advice.  Boy trouble as usual.  Anyone surprised?  You shouldn't be!  I just can't avoid them I guess...Especially my most recent aquaintance...

His name: Daniel.  His problem: Persistence.  Really!  The guy is VERY interested in me. After two weeks of knowing each other I got a letter.  He thought we should set some ground rules for our relationship.  (We aren't dating, we've only been on two dates and there won't likely be a third).  The guy complained that he didn't understand me and he was worried about our relationship getting in the way of school.  We had been on ONE date at that point!  Take a number dude!  There are a LOT of people who complain they don't understand me.  It's not an unusual occurence.  What is unusual is that you would worry about it after knowing me for so short a period.

Now Daniel isn't a bad kid.  He's funny and very intelligent (The guy memorized the states and capitols at age 3) and into drama.  He's weird like me.  And he will admit girls are always right. Sounds like a perfect guy for me right?  Except I'm not interested in him.  So his advances would be okay if I was.  Like the bringing me Jamba Juice on Friday.  Or offering to rub my feet.  That's just too much.  Sorry, we aren't dating.  We are JUST friends.  Things like that are a bf/gf thing.  One of my roomies teases me about him.  "He thinks he's your boyfriend."  And that worries me.  Because he's not.  I go on dates with other people, and I just don't think I'm interested in him romantically.  So I'm stressed that I have to not reject him completely and still get the point across that I'm not interested in a relationship right now.

This leads to my other problem actually.  Why do I think I want a certain type of guy, but when I get it I don't want it?  Ex. Daniel is a return missionary.  Strong in the gospel.  He's funny, creative, and romantic.  But I'm not interested.  At all.  Like for the first little bit I was just getting to know him, so I wasn't sure.  But now I think I am.  And his persistence aside, I'm not sure why I'm not interested in what I thought I wanted.  Yet you get guys who are completely wrong for me, and I'm interested in them.  Case in point?  Matt.  Think past tense here.   He was not the kind of person I pictured myself dating growing up.  He wasn't a member originally, he wasn't as prudent as I am, and he was a drop-out.  He just didn't seem like my type.  To anyone.  My sister even said he was a great guy, he just wasn't who she pictured me being with.  Yet, I dated Matt longer than anyone else.  We didn't get always get along the best, but somehow that didn't matter.  So why do I go for the guys who are totally wrong for me and reject the guys who I myself thought were the personality I was looking for?

I kinda blame my Dad for this, because he mentioned it when he was bringing me down to Utah, but I now think about what kind of guy I picture myself marrying and compare that image to the people I date.  I never really did that before.  So it's kinda weird.  But as I talk to guys, I think: Nah, I can't picture myself with him.  And I try to figure out what kind of guy I could picture myself with.  But I can't seem to come up with anyone.  What personality will I be attracted to and finally go for?  Someone like Matt or someone like Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew (which sometimes I think I might go for) or someone completely unique?  I'm just not sure.  And it's such a cultural thing here to worry about that, that it becomes inescapable.  For example, in church today we learned about: the role of parents (specifically Fathers) and nurturing our children.  It's insanely everywhere.  Two of my roommates will be married within a year probably.  (One for sure actually, and the other it is only a matter of setting a date and getting a ring).  How do you not worry about it?  It hasn't affected my schoolwork, but it's such a huge part of the culture.  Especially since I'm not in a freshman area.  I have to deal with this.  And to make matters worse, I keep thinking about my last rant and the response I got to it.  I really need some help and advice here.  Anyone interested, you have my e-mail address.  MSN Messenger isn't working.  Well anywho, talk to you all later!  ^-^
1