| I'm a Banana. Posted 2/25/2002 I am a Chinese American born and raised in the United States. I've never lived in a Chinese community and I've never known how to speak Chinese. My parents have exposed me to some Chinese culture. I've eaten Chinese food (the authentic stuff) and I celebrate Chinese holidays. I am a minority among minorities. The slur "banana" is used to refer to Chinese or other Asians that do not act "Asian." In other words, yellow on the outside and white on the inside. (This is similar to the use of "apple" used against Native Americans in the book Love Medicine . The thing about this slur is that it's not applied by other races but by my own. Now, I've never been called one in ridicule but I feel like one sometimes. Being a minority has never been more apparent to me than now. In college, I have found numerous Caucasians who haven't the faintese idea of what discrimination feels like. Now, that's always been the case, but now, in college, I find that the community I live in is far less diverse than the one I once experienced in high school. In high school I at least had friends I saw on a regular basis that were not simply WASP's or variation on that there of. Now, I'm not complaining about my friends in college. It's just that when you hear someone say, "Sometimes it really sucks to be white." you begin to realize just how different you are. How can anyone say that? Whites are in the majority here. Regardless of what's going on, Whites will always recieve better treatment. I'm aiming at Pharmacy School next year, but I'm worried because the majority of people that apply to the school are Asian females. Screw Affirmative Action. It doesn't apply to me. There are caps on the number of Asians allowed anywhere, it seems. Asians have always been the butt of everything. Just look at history. Asians have always been looked down upon in history. It just feels so different. No one else seems to notice that shoddy service at a restaurant is not because of the server, but because of the color of your skin. I've experienced times where I absolutely felt alienated in places. There are also times when people assume that just because your Asian, you are perfect for any Asian guy. The people in my dorm have tried to hook me up with another Asian guy for only that reason. He can barely speak English and would no doubt look down upon me for being a "banana." Sometimes I feel uncomfortable right where I am. It doesn't stop there, though. Recently, Chinese New Year was being celebrated in a near by venue to campus. I was going to go with my friend, who spoke Chinese. She unfortunately couldn't make it. As a result, I didn't go. I don't blame her for not going. (Jen, if you're reading this, I'm not blaming you , honest!) I realized that if I went by myself, I would feel alienated. I wouldn't understand much of what was going on, especially if there were a large number of Chinese speakers. I doubt I would have had much fun, just because of paranoia. It doesn't stop there. In the Chinese area, where my family regularly goes for brunch, there is a restaurant there that won't even serve you properly if you don't speak Cantonese. Can you imagine? What chance would I have there? None, obviously. Chinese speakers and readers reciever different treatment. They recieve different menus and are clued in on special gifts. I'm jsut left out. Even my little sister has felt the stigma of being a "banana." She's been called one by her Asian classmates. They've excluded her for being who she is. It's horrible. Now, I ask, why should we be held to that standard. No one else seems to be held to it. Caucasians are exected to know their native tongue. It's not like I just moved to this country. I'm not "fresh off the boat." I've lived here longer than many Coloradans. I've been here all my life. I, in fact, am a Native. So, why do I have to know Chinese? I speak English better than most Americans. I've never had trouble with it. I have better grammar than some English majors. I've been raised in a home with two parents who speak English, relatively well, I might add. It's not as though I expect other people to know their languages. I don't go up to my Polish friends asking them if they can speak their native tongue. Heck, I've only studied French before. Why the heck should I be singled out simply because of my ethnic background? It's not fair. I guess I will always be a banana. Addendum 2/26/2002: I just wanted to make one thing clear, that I think didn't come through in the above. I would like to learn Chinese someday, but not because of the discrimination. I would like to learn it for me. I personally think, I'll be better off being who I am. I like who I am, just feel too different sometimes. |