Star WR propels Hoosier Daddy to title in nailbiter 

   West Point (AP)  12/24/02   Christmas came early for Hoosier Daddy owner Jay Bartley, as the 2002 Coach of the Year withstood yet another star not playing to win the 2002 FFFL Championship. In a close one, it was Plaxico Burress who stood his own Monday Night against the top seeded DaNecks to eek out a 3 point victory. 

   Bartley, who this season has lost the following starters this season during the playoffs or the playoff run:  Dion McNabb (injury), Koy Detmer (injury), Lamar Smith (drunk), Shannon Sharpe (injury), and Terrell Owens (sitting out). The hero of the week was season-long backup Dez White, who...subbing for the injured/sitting out Terrell Owens, dropped a season high 22 points on DaNecks. "I'm so proud of Dezzy," said an estatic Jay Bartley at his postgame news conference, "I'm going to buy him a drink." And buy him a drink, he should. White's 2 TD's were just enough to get by Dynek, who had some late heroics of his own. DaNeck's WR Jimmy Smith caught a TD in the last minute of Jacksonville's blowout loss to Tennesee. "Did you see Jimmy Smith's touchdown?" Dynek asked Monday morning, while holding out hope that his boys would bring home the $550 prize...and trophy, which will head north to the frozen tundra of Fargo ND. 

   In other news....the Skin Boat captured their second title in as many seasons, as the Boat righted a sinking ship, coming back from a disaster of a season to capture the 4th Annual Bednarz Bowl in a decisive victory over league rookie Hot Gravy.

   More league news will follow once the weekend arrives (such as All-Pro teams, league wrap up, awards, etc...). I will be out of town from Tuesday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy the holiday season with your families. Thanks again for a fantastic FFFL season. (Special thanks go out to the Titos and Simon Sez. Your records may not have been the best this year, but I thank you for continually turning in lineups.) As always, I think each season tops the one before...and this one definitely fits that bill. If you have any advice for me on how to better the league, or ideas for consideration for the 2003 season, please let me know. I hope all of you will be playing again next year. Pencil in the weekend of August 22, 23, or 24 for Auction Day 2003. We are looking at re-incorporating the golf outing prior to the auction (and no...we will not be having it in West Point again). 

"Weekly Bednarz" Fairbury Brand "Hot Dog of the Week"
Week 13: Old Timers 75.0 Week 13: PoonTangens 147.8
Week 12: Skin Boat 64.4 Week 12: Modells 192.6
Week 11: Skin Boat 76.5 Week 11: DaNecks 135.2

Week 10: Dancing Titos  75.8

Week 10: DaNecks  175.7

Week 9:  Skin Boat 70.1

Week 9: DaNecks  139.1

Week 8: 7 Layer Burritos  61.3

Week 8: PoonTangens  133.6

Week 7: Dancing Titos  53.0

Week 7: PoonTangens  163.3

Week 6: Simon Sez  69.0

Week 6: PoonTangens 133.4

Week 5: Modells 78.4

Week 5: Kool & G'stas 161.1

Week 4: Buffalo Steak 58.5 Week 4: Clubbers 155.1
Week 3: Dancing Titos 60.8 Week 3: PoonTangens 155.8
Week 2: Dancing Titos 49.4 Week 2: Kool & G'stas 149.9
Week 1: Simon Sez 85.8 Week 1: PoonTangens 143.4





WEEK 16 Amani Toomer, Old Timers
WEEK 15 Duante Culpepper, Kool & G'stas
WEEK 14 Jeff Garcia, Gamecocks
WEEK 13 Ladanian Tomlinson, PoonTangens
WEEK 12 Priest Holmes, PoonTangens
WEEK 11 Hines Ward, DaNecks
WEEK 10 Plaxico Burress, Hoosier Daddy
WEEK 9 Antowain Smith, Hot Gravy
WEEK 8 Deuce McCallister, DaNecks
WEEK 7 Marshall Faulk, Nads
WEEK 6 Duante Culpepper, Kool & G'stas
WEEK 5 Priest Holmes, PoonTangens
WEEK 4 Shaun Alexander, Clubbers
WEEK 3 "Dion" McNabb, Hoosier Daddy
WEEK 2 Tampa Bay DST, Gamecocks
WEEK 1 Priest Holmes, PoonTangens





West Point (AP)  12/16/02   Beano Cook took time out from drinking whiskey today to announce the second annual "Beano Cook Coach of the Year Award". This award was sponsored exclusively by Mr Cook last season, and was won by Burritos owner Quint English. This year's award goes to one of the finalists. His perseverance this season is, "an inspiration to all of us, just like Dan Devine's 1968 Notre Dame Fighting Irish team," according to Beano Cook. None of us really know much about that, or what Cook was talking about, as the Old Timers' Jerry Knispel is the only owner that was either born or out of diapers during that time. 

  This year's award goes to Hoosier Daddy's Jay Bartley. His team has been given up for dead many times this year. First, Dion McNabb went down with a season ending injury. Bartley calmly picked up Dion Kitna to take his place. Who would have thought that Dion Kitna would lead a team to the finals. Now, Bartley must face one more hurdle, as he must face DaNecks for the title, without Terrell Owens, who will sit out the remainder of the regular season.




Hoosier Daddy owner Jay Bartley (above) was "poundin em down" last Sunday Night in his skybox after Hoosier Daddy rolled to a 77 point victory over the Nads in Round 1 of the playoffs.

Fargo (AP) 12/12/02  Exclusive footage from WDAY Channel 6 in Fargo showed Hoosier Daddy owner Jay Bartley "three fisting em" (as shown above) after the big win over the Nads last Sunday night. WDAY Sports Director Stacey Anderson (shown at left) reports that Bartley had disparaging words for upcoming semifinal opponent and former North Dakota State Bison golf teammate Jon Tangen, owner of the PoonTangens. Bartley was quoted by Anderson (who very closely resembles a cross between Burritos owner Quint English and Gangstas owner Jeff Koolen, both shown at left -- they are now all on the twins page), as saying...."Dion Kitna should be an all-star. I'm glad Dion McNabb's leg fell off. Tangen's team has no shot next week. His team sucks, he sucks, his running backs (Holmes & Tomlinson) suck, and he's even lucky to be in the playoffs. And he hit a whole box of Titleists into the cornfields of Oakland Nebraska in a scramble in which the winning team won a bottle of Jack Daniels" (not far from the truth). Bartley's beer muscles had kicked in long before this rant, and most attributed the comments to heavy drinking following the game. When asked for comment, as usual, Jon Tangen simply stated that "what Jay said is not surprising, you know, for Jay."

File photo, circa 2000, showing Hoosier Daddy Jay Bartley passed out drunk in his basement, a  remote in each hand and a bottle of beer resting on his belly.






Week #13 Schedule

Clubbers 128.6 +6 108.6 Bonecrushers
Skin Boat 115.0 +10 128.4 Dancing Titos
Kool & G'stas 115.2 pickem 92.7 7 Lyr Burritos
Simon Sez 115.0 +36 145.7 Modells
Nads 76.6 -20 121.0 Hot Gravy
Gamecocks 95.3 -8 75.0 Old Timers
Hoosier Daddy 90.4 +12 147.8 PoonTangens
DaNecks 108.1 -16 95.6 Buffalo Steak








Week #12 Schedule

Clubbers 110.6 -5 192.6 Modells
Skin Boat 64.4 +14 108.9 DaNecks
Bonecrushers 107.0 -4 80.8 7 Lyr Burritos
Simon Sez 121.3 +25 113.1 Old Timers
Gamecocks 131.1 -11 88.1 Hot Gravy
Kool & G'stas 101.4 -6 133.9 Buffalo Steak
Hoosier Daddy 121.6 -27 104.5 Dancing Titos
Skin Boat 64.4 +22 110.6 Clubbers
Bonecrushers 107.0 -29 121.3 Simon Sez
Buffalo Steak 106.0 -3 88.1 Hot Gravy
Kool & G'stas 95.5 -18 104.5 Dancing Titos
Gamecocks 131.1 +11 103.4 PoonTangens
Hoosier Daddy 121.6 +2 122.3 Nads
Modells 192.6 +8 80.8 7 Lyr Burritos
Old Timers 113.1 +15 108.9 DaNecks


Clubbers vs Modells:  This is perhaps the game of the week, in that the Modells can almost lock down the #8 spot with a win. But, the Clubbers will pull into a tie (and have the tiebreaker) against the Modells. Clubbers win a 10 point game.

Skin Boat vs DaNecks:   Minus perhaps two starters,  DaNecks go with Kordell and his mumps. It will be a tough one, but DaNecks should win a close one. 

Bonecrushers vs Burritos:  Just like the old days, Q vs Brad in a backyard brawl.  As long as Bubbles stays out of the chatrooms, he'll stay in the game. Q needs it worse, and he'll get the win.

Simon Sez vs Old Timers: Well, now this is really not much of a game. The Timers win big.

Gamecocks vs Hot Gravy:  Coach Seevers has turned the wheel over to Todd Stanton, as he's in Jamaica this week, sunning himself.  Rumor has it that Stanton has been running the team all year, but likes to let Phil have the forefront. It doesn't matter who is at the wheel, they can beat the Gravy.

Gangstas vs Buffalo Turds:  A key matchup. Both teams are on the outside looking in, but this will be an elimination game...something each are familiar with (and both are familiar with being eliminated). Turds win. 

Hoosier Daddy vs Titos:  Without Dion, how will they react??  I think the Titos win this week in the UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK.

Skin Boat vs Clubbers:  A pushover game for the Clubbers, as they face their former player, Shaun Alexander.

Bonecrushers vs Simon Sez:  If Bubbles loses this game, the division is up for grabs. He won't though.

Buffalo Turds vs Hot Gravy:  The Gravy is playing for pride. But pride won't be enough to beat Curt's Turds this week.

Gangstas vs Titos:  Well, why not make it 2 for the Titos this week.

Gamecocks vs PoonTangens:  If Stanton wins this one, Seevers said he'd let us post a photo himself in his Speedo from the Jamaica trip. Go PoonTangens.

Hoosier Daddy vs Nads:  Even Jentile Judd is licking his chops, as he'll take Jay behind the woodshed without Dion.

Modells vs Burritos:  Burritos can clinch with a win. They'll get it in a close one.

Old Timers vs DaNecks:  OT's get the league leaders on a tough week, and DaNecks will get loss #2 of the week from the 2000 champs.





Week #11 Schedule

#6 Clubbers 102.9 -9 113.7 #11 Old Timers
#12 Buffalo Steak 108.7 -5 84.7 #15 Simon Sez
#2 Hoosier Daddy 118.5 -31 110.2 #14 Hot Gravy
#10 Kool & G'stas 98.5 -5 116.5 #8 Gamecocks
#9 Modells 95.9 +3 95.7 #7  7 Lyr Burritos
#16 Dancing Titos 83.7 +49 135.2 #1 DaNecks
#13 Skin Boat 76.5 +6 98.5 #10 Kool & G'stas
#3 PoonTangens 112.2 -8 102.9 #6 Clubbers
#15 Simon Sez 84.7 +26 105.4 #5 Bonecrushers
#1 DaNecks 135.2 -41 110.2 #14 Hot Gravy
#8 Gamecocks 116.5 +14 107.6 #4 Nads
#2 Hoosier Daddy 118.5 -14 113.7 #11 Old Timers
#16 Dancing Titos 83.7 +22 95.7 #  7 Lyr Burritos


Clubbers vs Old Timers:  Appears to be a make or break game for Old Timers, as they cannot fall 2 games back of final wildcard spot. Clubbers are playing well...they will continue.

Buffalo Steak vs Simon Sez:  The Steak HAS to have this game, as they must win out to have a wildcard chance. Sez is trying to not have the worst season in league history. I have a sneaking suspicion about this one in my UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK, I'll take Simon Sez.

Hoosier Daddy vs Hot Gravy:  This is a mismatch from the start. An overachieving Hot Gravy team hit their glass ceiling last week, and Jay Bartley will put a woodshed beating on them this weekend.

Kool & G'stas vs Gamecocks:  A pivotal matchup for both. The G'cocks avoided both the Bednarz and a loss by a single point last week, which was possibly the key to their season. Koolen, on the other hand sits below .500 and out of the playoff picture. This is a tossup, but with Tampa Bay DST coming back, The G'cocks will win.

Modells vs Burritos:  The Burritos may have lost their magic this season, after losing 3 of 4. The Modells have been hovering around .500 all year. One needs to make a move. The Modells will win a close one.

Titos vs DaNecks:  DaNecks are good. I am admitting it right here, and my head says, "Can DaNecks win by 100?" But...my gut says, "The Titos aren't a bad team...they have to win sometime". This is it...in my UPSET SPECIAL OF THE YEAR. The Titos will shock the league.

Skin Boat vs Gangstas:  This was a good matchup back in 1998, but now...simply a sideshow for all the good games in the league. The Gangstas will win this crappy game.

PoonTangens vs Clubbers:  Are the Clubbers really for real??  Which PoonTangens team will show up??  Questions need answers, and the P'Tangens will show the Clubbers aren't ready for PrimeTime yet.

Simon Sez vs Bonecrushers:  Brad Bell is reeling. Similar to when he ate those dirt clod brownies in Crusher's backyard.  Simons only gets one upset this week...Brad wins, Brad wins, holy cow...Brad wins.

DaNecks vs Hot Gravy:  Thanks to Hot Gravy only throwing up 77 last week against Brad Bell, my divisional chances became tougher. That pissed me off, so I'm taking DaNecks.

Gamecocks vs Nads:  Teacher (and Todd) vs Student.  If the Gamecocks lose this...they will find themselves in the postseason battling for a Bednarz banner. Too bad for the rookies...the Nads will win.

Hoosier Daddy vs Old Timers:  He's like "butta" -- Jay's on a roll. He'll win again here. 

Dancing Titos vs Burritos:  The Burritos needed this. Don't take the Titos likely, remember...they are picked to knock of DaNecks, and if they do so....I have to take them to beat the Burritos also.







Week #10 Schedule

#15 Skin Boat 128.6 +20 111.1 #4  7 Lyr Burritos
#8 Clubbers 152.3 -24 97.2 #14 Simon Sez
#5 Bonecrushers 85.4 +8 93.2 #3 Nads
#10 Kool & G'stas 116.0 -8 77.8 #13 Hot Gravy
#7 Gamecocks 76.8 -10 75.8 #16 Dancing Titos
#4 PoonTangens 119.0 -17 105.4 #9 Modells
#11 Buffalo Steak 94.9 pickem 112.1 #12 Old Timers
#15 Skin Boat 128.6 -1 97.2 #14 Simon Sez
#7 Gamecocks 76.8 +4 152.3 #8 Clubbers
#13 Hot Gravy 77.8 +30 85.4 #5 Bonecrushers
#2 Hoosier Daddy 151.1 -9 116.0 #10 Kool & G'stas
#4  7 Lyr Burritos 111.1 +18 119.0 #4 PoonTangens
#9 Modells 105.4 +3 94.9 #11 Buffalo Steak
#3 Nads 93.2 pickem 175.7 #1 DaNecks


Skin Boat vs Burritos:  Q and Helm had reverted back to the form of the late 90's, until Ahman Green's heroics on Monday Night. The Boat is back to normal. The Burritos need this to stay  on track..and they'll get it.

Clubbers vs Simon Sez:  Clubbers must avenge unspeakable early season loss to the Sez. It's a big game, and new addition Eddie George should be ready. Clubbers win big.

Nads vs Bonecrushers:  Huge playoff battle. Bell is on a skid, and is in danger of losing stranglehold on division. Another loss, as Judd beats up on boyhood pal.

Hot Gravy vs Gangstas:  Gravy is still in playoff picture, and the Gangstas appear to have put early struggles behind. Someone must fall, and the Gravy gets tipped, and falls to 4-8.

Gamecocks vs Titos:   The G'cocks need to win the games they are supposed to. This is one of them. But...watch out for the Titos, they are this week's UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK. They're due..and they aren't that bad!! 

Modells vs PoonTangens:  Panic may be setting in up in Minneapolis, as Jon Tangen's boys are suddenly 8-5, even with the 5 Bedni. The Modells are backed into a corner....and they'll win.

Old Timers vs Buffalo Steak:   Normally, I'd pick Crusher in this one. This could be an elimination game for the #8 seed. It'll be a tight one. Because they gave me such a tight game...and because Edge is still a question mark, I'll take the Turds.

Skin Boat vs Simon Sez:  Someone has to win 3 games this year...and because of their persistence year after year...loss after loss...I'll pick Simon Sez.

Clubbers vs Gamecocks:  Big game for playoff implications. We'll find out if the G'cocks can win a game without the Tampa Bay defense. I should get an objective point of view on this game, but I think this is when the Clubbers bust out...they'll win BIG.

Bonecrushers vs Hot Gravy:  Brad plays classmate Mike Endorf and his pal Jay Rine. The B'Crushers smash them like a dirt clod brownie.

Burritos vs PoonTangens:  This should be a classic, but both teams have shown signs of wobbling. The PoonTangens will climb back off the mat in this one, and climb back into the upper eschelon.

Gangstas vs Hoosier Daddy:  Koolen has to be out of gas...he's been playing well..but Hoosier Daddy is for real this year. After taking the Gamecocks behind the woodshed in a trade on Monday, they'll be even better.

Modells vs Buffalo Steak: These two longtime State Farm adjusters battle it out....and imagine this...for once it means something. I really think the Turds might be decent this year. They'll win this one, getting back to .500.

Nads vs DaNecks:  Game of the Week. Are DaNecks for real??  Are the Nads back??  All questions will be answered. I'll take the Nads in a close one.



Week #9 Schedule

#15 Skin Boat 70.1 +16 108.2 #2 Hoosier Daddy
#10 Clubbers 85.2 pickem 85.0 #9 Buffalo Steak
#3 Bonecrushers 81.5 -10 85.5 #8 Gamecocks
#15 Simon Sez 98.4 +6 103.6 #13 Hot Gravy
#11 Kool & G'stas 113.7 +20 92.2 #1 PoonTangens
#4 DaNecks 139.1 -13 95.4 #7 Modells
#6 7 Lyr Burritos 100.4 -14 87.1 #12 Old Timers
#5 Nads 107.4 -33 92.5 #16 Dancing Titos







Week #8 Schedule

#15 Skin Boat 81.3 +21 118.9 #6 Nads
#7 Clubbers 112.6 +6 120.0 #4 Hoosier Daddy
#1 Bonecrushers 117.0 -8 118.2 #5 DaNecks
#12 Kool & G'stas 95.8 -9 91.8 #14 Simon Sez
#11 Gamecocks 127.3 -4 111.5 #13  Hot Gravy
#9 Old Timers 83.5 pickem 120.6 #8 Modells
#2 7 Lyr Burritos 61.3 -22 92.2 #12 Buffalo Steak
#3 PoonTangens 133.6 -42 94.9 #16 Dancing Titos






"Shakeup week"

Week #7 Schedule

#14 Skin Boat 70.6 +31 110.1 #1 Bonecrushers
#13 Clubbers 116.3 -4 76.1 #11 Hot Gravy
#16 Simon Sez 118.7 +38 124.8 #5 DaNecks
#10 Kool & G'stas 76.9 +8 130.6 #6 Nads
#8 Gamecocks 126.0 +14 130.9 #2  7 Lyr Burritos
#3 Hoosier Daddy 97.3 -12 75.1 #7 Modells
#15 Dancing Titos 53.0 -7 145.2 #12 Buffalo Steak
#3 PoonTangens 163.3 -10 107.6 #9 Old Timers
#6 Nads 130.6 +6 130.9 #2  7 Lyr Burritos


Skin Boat vs Bonecrushers: The defending champ against what appears to be this year's leading contender to take home the title.  Brad is due to lose a game soon...but it won't be this week. B'crushers big.

Clubbers vs Hot Gravy:  Gravy is thrilled to have 3 wins, while the Clubbers are not. Injuries have played havoc on the Clubbers, but they will get back on track with a win here.

Simon Sez vs DaNecks:  Simon Sez appears to be back on the road to collecting the most Bedni this season. DaNecks could really be dealt a blow with a loss, but it won't happen here.

G'stas vs Nads:  "Jentleman Judd" comes in without the usual swagger, but still packs a punch. He will put the hammer to the expectant new father.

Gamecocks vs Burritos:  The Burritos are back...looking to take over the top spot from boyhood friend Brad Bell. Q was in on the whole Dirt Clod Brownie incident back with Business Banker Bell  in the early 80's and would like nothing better than to beat up the Gamecocks and put some pressure on top ranked Bell. He'll do so with an impressive victory over the slipping Gamecocks.

Hoosier Daddy vs Modells:  The key here is whether or not Jay's live-in  mother in law will be picking the starting lineup. If Barb picks the lineup, The Daddy will win...if not...the Modells are back on track.

Dancing Titos vs Buffalo Steak: Well...is there really anything worth discussing here??  If you have poop...make "poopjuice". I'll take the Titos in the "poopjuice" game this week.

PoonTangens vs Old Timers:  We all think the P'Tangens are good. Just when we annoint them with a high ranking, they lay an egg. That will happen this week...Old Timers pull an upset.

Nads vs Burritos:  Hmm.. Marshall plays against his old team, the Burritos. Looks like Judd's in for another loss...Burritos win, once again putting even more pressure on #1 Bell.




"A Mixed Bag"

Week #6 Schedule

#15 Skin Boat 111.2 pickem 107.5 #12 Hot Gravy
#11 Clubbers 99.7 +14 117.0 #4  7 Layer Burritos
#1 Bonecrushers 90.7 -12 87.6 #8 Kool & G'stas
#13 Simon Sez 69.0 +20 103.2 #9 Hoosier Daddy
#6 Gamecocks 96.5 -6 109.2 #14 Buffalo Steak
#16 Dancing Titos 108.9 +18 125.3 #10 Modells
#3 Nads 89.4 pickem 78.2 #5 Old Timers
#7 PoonTangens 133.4 +3 77.2 #2 DaNecks
#!6 Dancing Titos 108.9 +37 89.4 #3 Nads
#8 Kool & G'stas 87.6 -16 107.5 #12 Hot Gravy

Judd smiles for the camera during a 1st grade photo shoot.

Hot Gravy vs Skin Boat:  The Gravy is the hot team going into their matchup with the Boat...the 2 teams combine for a record of 3-11. Who will prove the "futilest". I'll take the "Hot" Gravy team in this one.

Clubbers vs Burritos:  OK..I'm going to quit bragging up my team. We suck....(at least for now). Take the Burritos in a logical pick.

Bonecrushers vs Gangstas:  Brad Bell keeps on pounding people like he wanted to pound Q, Judd and I after we fed him dirt. Take the B'Crushers in a battle of former Hastings College grads.

Simon Sez vs Hoosier Daddy:  Just what Jay needs right about now...a break and a "week off". Daddy wins big.

Gamecocks vs Buffalo Turds:  Will someone please take the Gamecocks seriously??  They just keep on winning. Certainly, they'll win this one against the hapless Turds (now without Ewen's Brother in law).

Dancing Titos vs Modells:  The Modells were primed to have their run of cupcakes (Gravy and Titos) back to back. They lost to the Gravy, and I'm making this my "UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK", as the Titos get their first win.

Nads vs Old Timers:  Crusher gets his first crack at his baby boy (see photo at right). I believe that Gramps will take young Judd to school.

PoonTangens vs DaNecks:  In a rematch of last week....DaNecks look to prove that their win was not a mistake. I look for the PoonTangens to get revenge.

Dancing Titos vs Nads:  1 win per week is enough for the Titos.  Nads win big.

Kool & G'stas vs Hot Gravy:  Its a big divisional matchup for the G'stas. Hot Gravy looks to get right back into the divisional hunt, as 2 wins gets them back to 4-4...and in the mix. G'stas dump the Gravy.






"Some good games"

Week #5 Schedule

#12 Skin Boat 97.7 +7 107.0 #10 Gamecocks
#7 Clubbers 86.7 -11 161.1 #11 Kool & G'stas
#1 Bonecrushers 136.0 +4 121.9 #2 PoonTangens
#15 Hot Gravy 86.6 +28 78.4 #6 Modells
#5 Nads 133.4 -10 94.6 #14 Buffalo Steak
#16 Dancing Titos 114.4 +16 124.7 #8 Old Timers
#9 DaNecks 130.5 +8 115.8 #3 Hoosier Daddy
#4  7 Lyr Burritos 103.4 -34 89.0 #13 Simon Sez
#2 PoonTangens 117.7 -17 130.5 #9 DaNecks


Take the Skin Boat and lay the points. They'll win the game outright.

Take the Clubbers to hammer the Gangstas in what used to be an epic battle...now its just lopsided.

Oooohh....a #1 vs #2 matchup. A tough one to call. I'm cheering for the P'Tangens because the Business Banker is in my division, but I really think Brad will pull it off.

Modells will roll Hot Gravy. 

Hey Curt...if you have any Seahawks...don't start them..they have a bye. Judd wins big.

I'll take the Titos in an up-... just kidding...that would be appropriate for an April 1st prediction.

Hoosier Daddy will put the mumps to the Kordell-less DaNecks.

The Burritos will win, giving more support to Q's complaint over lack of respect.

and finally...the PoonTangens will survive Brad Bells beating and drop the new daddy Dynek.





"A week of bad games"

Week #4 Schedule

Skin Boat 103.8 PICKEM 59.3 Simon Sez
Clubbers 155.1 -20 99.2 Dancing Titos
Bonecrushers 134.8 -6 108.5 Modells
Hot Gravy 79.3 +25 105.0  PoonTangens
Gamecocks 83.3 -7 107.1 DaNecks
Kool & G'stas 103.9 +6 87.9 Old Timers
Buffalo Steak 58.5 +14 108.1 Hoosier Daddy
7 Lyr Burritos 114.2 +8 109.0 Nads
Skin Boat 103.8 +16 134.8 Bonecrushers
Kool & G'stas 106.9 +9 108.1 Hoosier Daddy
Modells 108.5 -32 99.2 Dancing Titos
PoonTangens 105.0 -16 58.5 Buffalo Steak
Old Timers 87.9 -10 107.1 DaNecks







Week #3 Results

#14 Skin Boat 100.5 +10 113.8 #13 Buffalo Steak
#12 Clubbers 90.7 +3 84.8 #5 DaNecks
#1 Bonecrushers 94.8 -6 146.0 #4 Old Timers
#11 Simon Sez 87.4 +21 155.8 #9 PoonTangens
#16 Dancing Titos 60.2 -5 87.5 #15 Hot Gravy
#7 Kool & G'stas 91.1 +2 107.4 #3 Gamecocks
#6  7 Lyr Burritos 98.9 -3 127.9 #10 Hoosier Daddy
#8 Modells 116.3 +15 103.4 #2 Nads






Week #2 Schedule

#12 Skin Boat 70.9 +14 116.6 #5 Modells
#7 Clubbers 88.9 +10 108.8  #2 Nads
#3 Bonecrushers 134.9 -2 86.5 #6 Buffalo Steak
#16 Simon Sez 96.1 +6 49.4 #14 Dancing Titos
#8  7 Lyr Burritos 118.2 -13 108.8 #13 Hot Gravy
#15 Kool & G'stas 149.9 +9 148.8 #4 DaNecks
#11 Gamecocks 133.7 +3 116.3 #10 Hoosier Daddy
#1 PoonTangens 85.9 -10 109.6 #9 Old Timers
#12 Skin Boat 70.9 +8 109.6 #9 Old Timers
#16 Simon Sez 96.1 +17 88.9 #7 Clubbers
#3 Bonecrushers 134.9 -22 49.4 #14 Dancing Titos
#11 Gamecocks 133.7 +13 116.6 #5 Modells
#13 Hot Gravy 108.8 +7 116.3 #10 Hoosier Daddy
#2 Nads 108.8 PICK 85.9 #1 PoonTangens
#4 DaNecks 148.8 +5 86.5 #6 Buffalo Steak







Week #1 Results

 #9 Skin Boat 103.9 -3 110.6  #10 Clubbers
 #13 Bonecrushers 117.6 +24 100.8 #2 Hoosier Daddy
#11 Simon Sez 85.8 -4 93.9 #12 Gamecocks
#16 Hot Gravy 90.9 +31 104.9 #4 Old Timers
#3  7 Lyr Burritos 105.8 -18 118.9 #14 Da Necks
#8 Modells 124.3 +9 142.1 #6 Nads
#1 PoonTangens 143.4 -6 115.4 #5 Buffalo Steak
#9 Skin Boat 103.9 +13 143.4 #1 PoonTangens
#13 Bonecrushers 117.6 +5 110.6 #10 Clubbers
#11 Simon Sez 85.8 +19 142.1 #6 Nads
#7 Kool & G'stas 89.4 -5 124.3 #8 Modells
#12 Gamecocks 93.9 +27 100.8 #2 Hoosier Daddy
#3  7 Lyr Burritos 105.8 -28 97.7 #15 Dancing Titos
#4 Old Timers 104.9 -3 115.4 #5 Buffalo Steak


Coaches Poll will be updated Tuesday late night. Commish's poll is fresh off the press below.

Jeff Simons of Simon Sez begins his all too familiar collection of "Weekly Bednarz", as he once again has the lowest score of the week. The PoonTangens won the Fairbury Brand HDOW.

Quite possibly the biggest surprise of the weekend, was the man who has been in the news frequently this summer, Business Banking Representative Brad Bell of the Bonecrushers. He has taken his franchise from the depths of the league, and built what looks like a contender.

On the other end of the spectrum...we thought this might happen. Fresh off a 17-4 championship season, the Skin Boat opens up 2002 a little hungover, with an 0-2 start. Now the battle begins on rough waters for the Boat.

Congrats to the expansion Gamecocks, who picked up a win in Week #1. What some may not know, is that they won the game in an unconventional manner. They are the first team to EVER use the 2 TE set in our league.  Hey Koolen...maybe that formation would help even your team out.

Don't forget to turn in your coaches poll. Please have them in by TUESDAY EVENING at 8pm, if possible. All of you are able to vote, simply email your poll to me.

Free agents are not due until WEDNESDAY at 7pm.










    2001 Commissioner's Cup League Champion:    Skin Boat

    2001 Beano Cook Coach of the Year:    Quint English, 7 Layer Burritos

    2001 Joe Namath Player of the Year:    Marshall Faulk, RB 7 Layer Burritos

2001 Avis "We Try Harder" Award:   Brad Bell, Bonecrushers


1st Team All-FFFL

QB Kurt Warner Kool & Gangstas
RB Marshall Faulk 7 Layer Burritos
RB Curtis Martin Old Timers
RB Ahman Green PoonTangens
WR David Boston Kool & Gangstas
WR Marvin Harrison Skin Boat
WR Jimmy Smith DaNecks
TE Marcus Pollard 7 Layer Burritos
K Jason Elam Buffalo Steak
DST Pittsburgh Steelers Outlaws





"Weekly Bednarz" Fairbury Brand "Hot Dog of the Week"
Week 13: Simon Sez Week 13: Dancing Titos
Week 12: Bonecrushers Week 12: Kool & G'stas
Week 11: Hoosier Daddy Week 11: DaNecks
Week 10: Bonecrushers Week 10: Clubbers
Week 9: Simon Sez Week 9: Outlaws
Week 8: Hoosier Daddy Week 8: Modells
Week 7: 7 Layer Burritos Week 7: Nads
Week 6: Bonecrushers Week 6: Shamoo
Week 5: Hoosier Daddy Week 5: Modells
Week 4: Simon Sez Week 4: 7 Layer Burritos
Week 3: Buffalo Steak Week 3: 7 Layer Burritos
Week 2: Simon Sez Week 2: Modells
Week 1: Dancing Titos Week 1: PoonTangens










Week 16: Kurt Warner -- Kool & G'stas

Week 16: Marshall Faulk -- 7 Layer Burritos

Week 16: Curtis Conway -- Old Timers

Week 15: Kordell Stewart -- DaNecks Week 15: Marshall Faulk -- 7 Layer Burritos Week 15: Marvin Harrison -- Skin Boat
Week 14: Kurt Warner -- Kool & G'stas Week 14: Dominic Rhodes -- Skin Boat Week 14: Randy Moss -- PoonTangens
Week 13: Todd Bouman -- 7 Layer Burritos Week 13: Priest Holmes -- Dancing Titos Week 13: Randy Moss -- PoonTangens
Week 12: Brett Favre -- Simon Sez Week 12: Marshall Faulk -- 7 Layer Burritos Week 12: Joe Horn -- Dancing Titos
Week 11: Tom Brady -- Dancing Titos Week 11: Antwain Smith -- Kool & G'stas Week 11: Eric Moulds --DaNecks
Week 10: Rich Gannon -- Buffalo Steak Week 10: Marshall Faulk -- 7 Layer Burritos Week 10: Randy Moss -- PoonTangens
Week 9: Donovan McNabb -- Skin Boat Week 9: Shaun Alexander -- Outlaws Week 9: Marvin Harrison -- Skin Boat
Week 8: Steve McNair -- Outlaws Week 8: Ahman Green -- PoonTangens Week 8: Terrell Owens -- Clubbers
Week 7: Kerry Collins -- Nads Week 7: Corey Dillon -- Nads Week 7: Joe Horn -- Dancing Titos
Week 6: Duante Culpepper -- 7 Layer Burritos Week 6: Trung Canidate -- PoonTangens Week 6: Marvin Harrison -- Skin Boat
Week 5: Jeff Garcia -- Buffalo Steak Week 5: Shaun Alexander -- Outlaws Week 5: Terrell Owens -- Clubbers
Week 4: Kurt Warner -- Kool & G'stas Week 4: Shaun Alexander -- Outlaws Week 4: Terrell Owens -- Clubbers
Week 3: Kurt Warner -- Kool & G'stas Week 3: Marshall Faulk -- 7 Lyr Burritos Week 3: Terrance Mathis -- Old Timers
Week 2: Peyton Manning -- Shamoo Week 2: Marshall Faulk -- 7 Lyr Burritos Week 2: Rod Smith -- Modells
Week 1: Brian Greise -- Da Necks Week 1: Ahman Green -- PoonTangens Week 1: Jimmy Smith -- Da Necks



A fine new eating establishment has recently opened right across the street from Jay Bartley's office. 








Deadbeat league owners Jeff Koolen (owes $105) and Jay Bartley (owes $115) mug for the camera after a day of "muddin". Koolen and Bartley paid for the beer with the money they were supposed to use to pay their league dues. Also pictured are Jeff Simons (owes $15) and Mark Dynek (owes $5), who aren't serious offenders, but are still "Deadbeat Owners".




Who will it be??  Quint English, Jeff Ewen, Mike Lucas, or Jon Tangen

    West Point (AP)  The 2001 FFFL season is rapidly coming to a close. While this is a reflective and sad time of year for most, there are still four (five if you count Skin Boat co-owner Shawn Kreifels) owners that are vying for a title. Ironically, this year, we will see a first time champion hoist the esteemed Commissioner's Cup, and place it atop that owner's mantle until next January. 

    The Outlaws made perhaps the greatest comeback of the weekend, when Clubber's castaway WR Willie Jackson nabbed an impressive 29.6 points and single-handedly led the team to victory on Monday Night. 

    In the semi-finals, Lucas' Outlaws will face the powerhouse 7 Layer Burritos. Quint English's team was the preseason favorite to win the entire league this year, as he came away from the auction with an impressive squad. But, injuries decimated the team, and it wasn't until he took Brad Bell behind the shed for a terrible woodshed trade, that his team resurfaced. For persevering, English was awarded the prestigious "Beano Cook Coach of the Year" Award at a luncheon today (see story below).

    Also making the semis will be the Skin Boat. This will be their first trip past the opening round of the playoffs, and the 15-4 squad had their hands full with the 8-10 Clubbers, winning by just 7 points. The Boat was teetering on Monday Night, until the New Orleans Saints imploded in the second half. Bulletin board material may have been enough to push the Boat over the top, when, on Saturday, it was discovered that Clubbers GM Ryan Knispel had been "Jon Detroit", thereby making a jackass of the Skin Boat skipper. Needless to say, Skipper Ewen was not happy and may have motivated his team with this fodder. 

    Another first time owner will be Jon Tangen and his PoonTangens. Sadly, we have heard nothing from Jon in the form of trash talking, or just letting us know that he's around. Jay Bartley talked him up before the season, saying, "..yeah, Jon will really mix things up in the league...he'll be great". It is, however, quite disappointing that we have not heard anything from Jon, except..."my lineup for the week will be...", and "I'd like to pick up..."


    It was an uncommon occurrence. No, not Koolen skipping lunch, or Ewen actually putting in an 8 hour day. It was Brad Bell's Bonecrushers winning a game. You see, it was just his third win of the season, and it was a relief to say the least. "I was really concerned," said Bell in a postgame news conference, "I really thought I might break Bednarz' record for least wins in a season. Now, I'm shooting for the NIT Championships!!"

    And what a turn of event it has been for the Nads. After winning the title in 1999, and coming within a tenth of a point last season, the Nads missed the playoffs in 2001, then lose in Round 1 of the NIT to the 2-16 Bonecrushers. "I did the most I could with my team," said a distraught Judd Knispel after the game, "...and that wasn't much."

    "We told him his team sucked on draft night," said a chucking Jeff Koolen, as he munched on some chicken nuggets. Now the question will be...can Brad Bell turn the NIT completely upside down with a "worst-to-first" finish.


    At a ceremony earlier today, Burritos owner Quint English took home the coveted "Beano Cook Coach of the Year" award. While English fielded the most imposing squad, it was his teams resilience that ended up making him a nearly unanimous selection for the award. He missed out by just one vote, as Nads' owner Judd Knispel opted to vote for himself. 

In a taunting gesture, Kool & G'stas quarterback Kurt Warner presents Sunday's game ball to Skin Boat owner Jeff Ewen's sister Brenda after the Gangstas demolition of Ewen's Boat.  The win kept the Skin Boat from holding onto the #1 seed for the playoffs, while Koolen snuck into the Run for the Commissioner's Cup. When asked about this showmanship, Ewen responded, "Koolen's just a jackass...he probably told the Grocery Boy to do that." Koolen, meanwhile claimed innocence and took the Frank Solich-like high road, simply stating, "We're happy to be in the playoffs, and we think we have a good football team."



By way of fielding the crappiest squad on a consistent basis, Simon Sez owner Jeff Simons will be providing beer at next year's draft. 

"Who's Buyin Beer?" Jeff Simons is!!!

    For most owners, it's a rarity that his team scores the lowest point total. However, for Simon Sez' owner Jeff Simons, it's a frequent occurrence. Simon's team won a total of four games this season, which is a 25% improvement over last year. However, out of his remaining nine weeks of the season, he managed to score the lowest point total four times (this equals out to 45% of the time). 

    To commemorate this outstanding accomplishment -- winning the most Bedni...Simons will be providing beer at next season's auction. You can click here to place your order: PLACE BEER ORDER


Bednarz to Emcee Event

Mike Bednarz poses for the media with one of the awards he will be presenting in January

    Former Investigator's owner Mike Bednarz has been selected to host the 2001 FFFL Awards Banquet. The event, to be held in January will feature the presentation of the Commissioner's Cup to the league champion. Along with the Cup, will be the following awards:

    When asked about this honor, Bednarz had this to say, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..."



Halfway point yields surprises, disappointments, and the usual from Simon Sez

    West Point (AP)-- It's actually past the halfway point, but this is the first time I've had a chance to get a "pen and a pad" as Dr Dre might say. At this juncture, it's a good time to reflect before the big "playoff push" comes. Here's my two cents:

    First of all, I would like to show what the playoffs would look like if they began today:

    Now that we have our informational lesson out of the way....there are some interesting items to review. First of all, and Quint, I apologize for hammering on you, but....WHERE ARE THE BURRITOS???   This was going to be the team of all time, surpassing the teams that Judd had after bullying Brad Bell into trading him Randy Moss for two dirt clod brownies and a Keith Hernandez rookie card. Even without Jamal Lewis, this team was untouchable -- but now they're a meager 5-5, but once again, Brad Bell comes into the picture. Recently, Bell gave Quint English Isaac Bruce for, well...nothing. 

    And then there are the defending champion Old Timers. You also saw them missing the playoffs (although by just 0.4 points, so they are almost tied for the spot with DaNecks). 

    How can I go without mentioning the entire Blanda West. My goodness....this is the worst, I mean absolute worst excuse for a division in league history. The division is a combined, get this, 16-29. Meanwhile, to compare to the YA Tittle South Division....they are 30-12. If I wasn't in the Blanda West, I might consider using special Commissioner powers to take away the Blanda West's playoff spot and award it to the Tittle South last place team. 

    Enough press for the rotten teams....how about the Modells?? Three HDOW's in 8 weeks?? Pretty impressive for the Brian Mastre lookalike. The PoonTangens have hovered around the #1 spot all year, and now it appears that the Modells and PoonTangens, both at 8-2, will fight for that spot the rest of the year. That's not to say that the Skin Boat won't be there to the end, but I'm just not convinced that, even at 8-2, we can call them a title contender. Bookmakers list them at 17 point underdogs against either the PoonTangens or Modells, and they're even listed as "pick em" against the 4-7 Clubbers.

    Two teams that nobody seems to respect are the 8-3 Kool & Gangstas and 8-4 Outlaws. Both have proved nearly unstoppable over the past month. The difference may be November. The Gangstas have a brutal schedule upcoming, while the Outlaws will be loading up on cupcakes.

    Speaking of cupcakes, Jeff Simons, of Simon Sez, is perhaps the biggest cupcake in the league. In fact, we may need to look at naming the "Weekly Bednarz" the "Weekly Simons". Check this out:  In 2000 and 2001, Simon Sez has a combined record of 5-27, and if you throw in 1999, it's a snazzy 15-38. 

    Other teams have been mildly disappointing. Shamoo has a fantastic scoring average, but they're a disappointing 4-6...watch for them to sneak into the playoffs, if they can get past the Burritos. DaNecks can't seem to decide whether they want to be good or sandbag and win the NIT. I'm sure we can all picture Dynek formulating some way on his laptop that he can win more money in the NIT than the Championship Bracket.

    We all thought the Head Tito, Mark Hatten had some strange affliction on auction night. Why else would he stuff his entire salary cap into his back pocket and sleep through the entire auction??  I guess we know now. He sandbagged to get Tom Brady and the rest of his "Brady Bunch", and he'll sneak in and win the awful mess that's called the Blanda West. 

    I have saved the worst for last. Yes, it's poor Brad Bell. Interest rates keep going down and Brad Bell's Bonecrushers are 1-10. Brad may ask himself from time to time, "Brad, could it get any worse??"  Well, I've thought about it for you Brad, and decided that it could. We could be playing Fantasy Basketball, and you'd be in last place there, also.



"There was only a week left to trade....I had to act fast!!!" -- Quint English after dumping injured players to Business Banking Representative Brad Bell.

    Paying close attention to the website paid dividends for Quint English, owner of the 5-5 Burritos. The squad that was picked by everyone has fallen upon hard times, and needed a swift kick in the rear. "There was only a week left to trade," said English, "I had to act fast." Fast he did act, trading oft injured RB Fred Taylor, his cousin WR Travis Taylor, and Travis Minor, who at last check was not in the NFL to beleaguered Bell, 1-10 on the season, so far. 

    "I can't break the Bednarz record for least wins in a season (3), so this is my best attempt at avoiding that dubious distinction," said Bell, "maybe they can all get healthy in a month or so, and I could win some games...or maybe just a game!!!"


Hurry...this week will be your last chance until 2002 to take Brad Bell (above) behind the woodshed on another trade!!!

    I thought I should remind everyone that the trade deadline is one week from tonight (that would be Monday, November 12 -- no trades after that time). However, you may still pick up free agents after that.  

WEEK 6 Archives:

Clubbers strike with "the brownie trick" again -- Clubbers GM Ryan Knispel went to his "bag of tricks" last weekend in his win over Brad Bell's Bonecrushers. Prior to the game, Knispel sent over a few plates of "brownies" that turned out to be dirt clods. Sources inside the team stated that Grbac had "3 or 4" of the "treats" about an hour before gametime.  By midway through the third quarter, Grbac was on the bench, sick to his stomach (shown above). It wasn't until after the game that Bell figured out what was wrong. "That f****r did it again!!!," said an angered Bell after his seventh loss of the season. "He disguised those dirt clod brownies and fed them to me in 1982, and now Elvis!!!" Reports indicate that Grbac is listed as questionable for this weekend's game.

Farve pumped after win -- Brett Favre had his best game of the season, and led Simon Sez to an upset (every win is an upset) over a weak Hoosier Daddy team last weekend. Farve is shown at left holding one finger in the air in reference to the number of wins that the Simon Sez squad has this season.

Ragtag bunch of no-names leads Steak -- While this may sound like a lineup for the softball team from the local manufacturing plant, here is what Buffalo Steak owner Curt Schwartzkopf is starting this week against Shamoo:  Tony Banks (maintenance), Terry Allen (accounting), Ron Dayne (food services), James Thrash (management), Eddie Kennison (sales), Duane Carswell (parts), and Jason Elam.

Skin Boat makes use of day off -- In hopes of shoring up his team, Skin Boat co-owner Jeff Ewen has taken Friday off to "wheel and deal" his way to a better team. Ewen (shown left) is 5-2, but is concerned that the team's recent showing is not playoff caliber. "We aren't very good," said Ewen, "and I would also like to request that you take Kreifels' name off as a co-owner...I'm lucky he even showed up at the auction!!". Ewen spent the majority of Friday in his house making trades with Buffalo Steak owner "General" Curt Schwartzkopf and Outlaws owner Mike "Forrest" Lucas. These deals have made Ewen's roster look like that of an 8-man high school team.

  Burritos to lose 2 this week? -- Despite the fact that 7 Layer Burritos owner Quint English's team is on a roll, he appears prepared to lose both games this week, including his showdown with the #1 ranked Modells. English feels that even an injured Marshall Faulk will help his team. Because of this, Faulk appears in the Burritos starting lineup.

Hoosier Daddy sucks--  Hoosier Daddy owner Jay Bartley earned his first of what could be many "Bedni", with a horrible 59 point outburst against lowly Simon Sez. "I'm an embarrassment to Fantasy Football," he said in a postgame interview. "Mike Bednarz himself could have fielded a more competitive squad."