Rules of EMS
The Paramedic ETOH Test
Hold out your hands about 6 inches apart with the thumbs and fore fingers touching and ask the Patient what color string you are holding. If the Patient indicates a color it is a positive test. Usually corresponds with member ship in the 500 club.
The First Law of Ambulance Driving
No matter how fast you drive the ambulance when enroute to a call, it will never be fast enough, unless you pass a police cruiser, at which point it will be entirely too fast.