Walking Away with Pride

Spoiler: Character death, and taking in that Harm lives and DB finally gives shippers what they want.

This is dedicated to a friend who died Friday, early in the am in her sleep. She was a fan of mine as I sent her my stuff. She was a courageous person and she fought a great fight over the past two years. She battled breast cancer and won only to lose a fight to ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. She was a neat person and she will be missed.

Thanks to my beta reader Lisa

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2014

June

He walked out of the clinic, the death sentence finally laid out for him. It was a mixture of relief and fear as he headed over to his truck. Once inside he let the tears flow freely, there was nothing to do now but accept that fate. He was going to die sometime in the next two years and it was going to be a slow process, ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease ran on its on time schedule and nothing he did was going to stop it

After sitting there for a few minutes he regained his composure and put the truck into drive and headed back to the office. The doctor told him that stress and overexertion were the worst things for him so now his choice of when to retire was gone.

He walked into the office his entrance was caught by Mac as she was waiting for him. He even let out a small laugh as heard her heels clapping on the tile floor coming after him. "Come on in Mac and shut the door."

He took a seat shaking his head, as he still couldn’t get over Mac being a civilian advisor. She left the Marines after complications with her second son's birth and became a contract employee so she could be at home more. They had become very close friends over the years and he knew that she loved him. He let the smile stay a second longer till he remembered why she was in his office.

She knew immediately that what he was about to say would be bad, his whole demeanor spoke volumes. She sat quietly as he spilled out what the doctor told him and how long he had. He kept his gaze turned away from her so that her tears wouldn’t start his own again.

A few weeks later there was a party held in his honor as his last day in the Navy was celebrated and new a life of living with ALS started.

Family and friends set aside special time for him as the disease slowly robbed him of strength, but never his dignity. It was around the first anniversary of the diagnosis that the speech problems started along with problems with swallowing. Soon he found himself with a palm computer to type on so he could communicate and a feeding tube in his stomach so that he could be fed. It was then that Mac and her family moved in with him so that he could still live at home, sleep in his own bed and enjoy the pool that was in the backyard.

Mac's sons enjoyed the break and made sure that their adopted uncle was comfortable, never once acting like his illness was a big deal even when it broke their hearts to watch him slowly become weaker and weaker.

The months went by faster than anyone wanted them to and soon the summer was gone, the boys back in school and a wheelchair was his mode of moving around the house. He was down half his normal weight; something the doctors said is normal as he lost muscle tone and loss of appetite.

September 21^st 2015

She was beginning to get worried usually by now there was some sound from his bedroom but this morning he seemed to be sleeping in. She knew that he was still upset because hospice was delivering the hospital bed today along with a neck brace. It still hurt to see the pain in his eyes when finally caved in and agreed to the brace. Not being able to hold his head up anymore just hit so quickly catching all by surprise.

They all knew he was holding up a brave front and dreading the further decline that was soon to come. Last night he had been very chipper as the Scott went on and on about his kick that won the soccer game and replaying the shot several times to make sure everyone knew it by heart. She was so proud of her son and incredibly saddened by the state of one of her best friends. It was hard on her and her family as they made the sacrifices to maintain a sense of normalcy as the disease progressed.

Mac decided that she would wake him up and then run to the photo shop and pick up the Labor Day pictures she dropped off the night before while heading to Scott's game.

After knocking several times and a sense of unease began to go all over her as she entered his bedroom to find what she feared most. There with the covers tucked around his chin he was dead. She came over and felt his neck; he was pale and cold, death taking him sometime in the night leaving him with a peaceful look on his face and knowledge that his struggle was over.

She sat down beside the bed and took his hand for a moment to say a private goodbye and enjoy for the last time a silent peace that they would never have again. Taking a deep breath and wiping away tears Mac stood up thirty minute later and called hospice to let them know.

After hanging up with them she called Harm at JAG to let him know and pass the word that AJ was gone.

Harm took it hard, as she knew he would. AJ was the father he never had and used his influence over the years to help push for Harm's promotion to captain and then his first star that earned his place as the youngest to take command of JAG HQ.

After hanging up with Mac, Harm walked out to the bullpen and made the announcement. Even though most of the staff didn’t know AJ personally they knew of him and then there was the staff that still remained that worked under AJ during his turn as CO. The old hands came up to Harm to see what they could do and the young ones just gave condolences. Harm packed up shop, left his Chief of Staff in charge and headed home to be with Mac.

A few days later

Bud stood outside the church wondering where the time went from the day that he left JAG with his transfer and to today where he came to say goodbye to an old friend. Beside him, Harriet and their children stood there waiting for Mac and Harm to arrive.

Bud knew the death wasn’t sudden but it came quicker than he thought it would. His birthday was coming up and everyone expected him to at least make it till then. Bud knew that he felt bad over missing the Labor Day party because of a case and missing that last chance to see his ex-co was something that was going to take awhile to get over.

His eyes misted over as he remembered the phone call from Mac explaining the reasons for those months of increased weakness that had finally been diagnosed as ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease. They were stationed in Japan at the time and with a few well- placed calls got them transferred back to the states at Norfolk with the local JAG office.

Harriet jabbed him in the side as Mac, Harm and their sons came up to join them. After hugs were passed around along with 'how are you's', the group entered the church.

At AJ's request, he was cremated and the ashes were to be interned at his spot at Arlington. AJ didn’t want people to see him in the state he was at the end. Harm, Bud and a few select others were named honorary pallbearers. Francisca, her husband and daughter arrived and took their seats. It was all Max could do to keep Francisca from totally falling apart. She and AJ had grown closer in the passing months and guilt over not being able to be there at the end by his side was tearing her apart.

After the small graveside service the closest of the family and friends gathered back at AJ's to reminisce about the good times and to help each other with the pain of losing such a great friend. It was almost dark when Harriet found Mac outside on the porch.

"You going to be okay Mac?"

"With time I will but next to the people inside, I just lost a very good friend."

Harriet came up beside her and placed an arm around her as they both stood there looking towards a glorious sunset.