"Pssst! You, over here, inside the mail box."
You move over to the mail box, sure enough, you see a pair of
sinister eyes peering back at your from the darkness. He scans left,
and then right, not trusting a single shadow. Finally, he looks back
at you.
"The man who eats bamboo.", he says cryptically.
You ask him to repeat the question.
"Your response is close enough. I am Code Name D. My mission in
life, is to bring you the best fan fic's that can be smuggled onto
the net. Here is my latest work."
He hands you a manila envelope titled, "Tarry 1/2 : Here's Tarry."
"Shhh. Don't read it out loud.
"Who is Tarry 1/2? Well, you see, when two people are born at the
same time at opposite ends of the planet, they share the same fate.
Thus as Ranma was destined to be cursed to become a girl at the
springs of Josinkyou, in China. Tarry Clearwater was also equally
destined to be cursed to become a boy in a haunted bog in Argentina.
And who is equally miffed at her mother for dragging here there in
the first place.
"So you see, there not really my characters. They belong to the
Goddess of the Ranma 1/2 universe, Rumiko Takahashi. She owns Ranma
and all his, or her friends. It's copyrighted you know. Of course,
she didn't make any of the characters in this story, but they were
inspired by her characters, and using their situations, too. So they
are hers. Alright. So quit splitting hairs. If you don't, you'll
make her mad. And she will find out."
Code Name D's eye's shift again as he searches for prying eyes. He
then raises a hand to his face to confine his next words.
"She has spies everywhere."
"Moshi moshi."
You look to your left, to see a friendly looking Japanese Copyright
agent standing next to you with a wide smile on his face.
With an unoiled clank, Code Name D closed the mail slot to return to
his hiding place.
"Enjoy", he says from inside the mail box.
Tarry 1/2
#1: Here's Tarry.
--------------------------
Written by Douglas E. Kulp
Inspired by the characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi.
Transportation by Code Name D.
< + + + + + + >
The rain was over with, and one by one, the towns folk began to
emerge from their homes to examine the new day, bright and clean.
Many resumed their chores that were interrupted as they fled into the
shops and stores along main street, and were just starting to step
out onto the side walk.
Then, in the distance, along the road leading to town, came an and
old beat up jeep. No one took notice of it until it reached the
outskirts of town, where it suddenly became of grave concern.
It looked to be a land rover, with no top on it, so the occupants
were probably soaking wet from the rainfall. That might explain why
the vehicle swerved so chaotically and fratically all over the road.
When it finally rocketed onto main street, the fleeing pedestrians
saw a truly bizarre sight: A boy fighting for control of the wheel with a
large, white bear.
The land rover suddenly veered to the right, hitting the street curb
that knocked it back onto the road. The land rover then did several
360's before coming to rest at the base of the ten foot tall
statue of the town's founder.
The Boy then did a remarkable thing, and kicked the bear out of the
jeep.
"You can just forget about this scam of yours. I am having no part
in it!" he shouted at the bear. He then stepped out of the land
rover, and started walking back the way he came from.
"You can take this twisted money making scheme of yours, and sit on
it for all I care, you old bat. I am going back to Argentina! So
you can just go to hell for all I care."
With that, the boy turned his back on the bear.
The bear then slowly rose to its feet. It then pulled a no-parking
sign from out of the pavement, and whacked the boy over the top of
the head with it. It returned to the rover, and pushed the
unconscious boy into the passenger seat, then climbed in behind the
steering wheel.
"What in tarnation?" some one said, "That ain't no polar bear. That
sucker is an albino grisly."
"What's a grisly doing in Dirt Hill?" someone said. This comment
prompted a lot of chatter among the towns folk, even as the white
grisly tried to restart the rover. This of course drew more
chatter and gasps from the crowd.
"Did it escape from the circus?" "Shouldn't some one call 911?"
"Maybe the boy is the bears trainer?"
The land rover refused to start, with the engine probably having been
flooded. The bear was then forced to tolerate the mummers and gasps
of the closing crowd for a few more minutes, until it's patients wore
thin.
It then gave out a quick and loud growl to ether side. Every one
suddenly decided that their chores were more important.
The bear tried the ignition again, started the land rover, and
quickly drove out of town, like a blind bat out of a burning hell.
< + + + >
It finally came. At long last, it finally came.
Cindy Darenger felt that she was grinning so hard as she looked at
the post card, that her face might split in half.
She turned it over, and inspected the brief note on the other side.
Then turned it over again to look at the Spanish donkey that adorned
the other side of the card.
As Cindy read, her wide smile of glee, slowly, and ever so lightly,
began to show a hint of malevolence.
She stood up from the dining room table, and began to look for her
boys. The first should be outside.
She crossed through the living room, outside to the large front
porch that bordered half the main house. The rain had stopped moments
before, but it was still cool and misty.
She looked over the large stretch of Darenger Ranch that she
inherited from her father. On the other side of the back access
road, she saw the machine shed, the wood shed, two large carports
that were stuffed with bailed hay and barley, and a big red barn that
had become the center of the ranch in the past few days.
Defieing the weather, Cindy could see her eldest son, standing atop a
long ladder and making some repairs to the barn roof.
Cindy reached over, took the chimer for the dinner bell in hand,
and gave it a loud ring.
"Hey Dusty! Come into the house! I need to talk with you!"
In the distance, Dusty put down his hammer, and the latest bundle of
shingles. He then obediently nodded to his mother.
"I'll be there in a moment mom!", he shouted back.
Beaming with pride for her eldest son, Cindy went back inside.
She then went upstairs to the study, where she could hear sounds of a
CD player, blaring out the latest Country and Western tunes.
"Hey Cash, are you in there?", Cindy said, gently rapping on the
study door. A moment later, and the door opened and she discovered a
smartly dressed Cash Darenger, dancing by himself as if there was a
girl waltzing in his arms.
"What do you want Mother?" he said.
"I need to show you something in the dinning room," Cindy said.
"Sure. I'll be down as soon as this song is done," Cash said. It
won't take but a moment."
Cindy then went across the hallway to her youngest sun's door to his
room. It was adorned only with a flat wood crane with her son's name
written in Japanese, a joke some one had played on him a few years
back.
"Redd? Are you in here?", she said as she opened the door. But all
she saw was the typical boys room. She frowned slightly, and
continued her search. Her next stop was the kitchen.
"Redd? Redd Anthony Darenger!" she said as she called out for him,
"Where is that boy?"
< + + + >
At that moment, a young man warring a green colored apron leaned over
a long row of expertly cultivated crysanthemums. It was peacefully
quiet in the green house at the moment. The perfect place to sit and
think to one self.
"Hmmm.", he said with a frown as he looked over one plant in
particular. "Not to worry, this won't hurt a bit.", he said with a
warm smile. He then reached foreword and plucked a sick looking
sprout from the main plant with a pair of clippers. "There, all
better."
It was at that moment that the outside door was opened.
"So this is where you are Redd.", Cash said as he stepped inside and
out of the rain, closing the door behind him. "You know, this is
exactly the sort of reason why all the girls at your school think
that you're so weird."
"Ha.", Redd snapped as he folded his arms, "It just so happens, for
your information, that not every one thinks that the whole world
revolves around.... girls.", Redd said, looking genuinely cross.
"Oh no? Then perhaps this wouldn't interest you then, would it?"
Cash said, "Come on, mother wants to tell us something. She says
that it has something to do with the Gym."
< + + + >
The large doors that lead outside from the dining room were thrown
open, letting a much needed breeze come in. The storm gutters where
still slowly trickling water into the old horse trough that was just outside.
Cash and Redd shed their outdoor garments on the back porch, then
entered through the kitchen as they usually did. They then pushed over
the double old west style door that lead into the dinning room where
they saw Dusty and there mother already seated and waiting for them.
Mother, as usual, was staring sternly at Redd, half from
disappointment, and half from anger.
"Don't tell me that you were in the green house again. In the
rain?!", she said, "Redd Anthony Darenger, we are going to have a
long talk, you and I."
"Gee mom.", Dusty said, "I don't see what your problem is. I kind of
like his flower garden."
"And the vegetables that he raises fetch a nice price at the market,"
Cash said as he took his seat at the table.
"Lissen you two, I don't need you encouraging him. He's black sheep
enough as it is.", Cindy said, "But that's not what I wanted to talk
to you about. Boy's, I think our problems are over," she said, "I
just got a letter from an old friend. We go way back. Her name is
Kelley Clearwater. Any way, she had a daughter, and there both
coming here to live with us for a while to help us out with the new
Gym."
"Exactly how are they going to help, Mother?", Redd asked.
"They agreed to be instructors for the new Gym. Female instructors
no less," Cindy said. He then looked at the letter again before
continuing. "They have both been on a long training journey.
Traveling all of the Americas, as far south as the Cape of Good Hope,
and I under stand that they are very skilled martial artists,
studying all the fighting skills that they could find in this
hemisphere. And Kelley tells me that Tarry is rather attractive as
well, so they'll have this thing packed in no time. So I want you
boys to be extra nice to Tarry. Really make her feel at home," Cindy
said with a wide smile. But when she opened her eye's, and saw that
all three of her sons were looking back at her, rather expectantly.
Cash then folded his arms in his usual sarcastic manner while Dusty
sighed.
"What?", Cindy said, still smiling.
"What are you up too this time, mother.", Redd said.
"Me? Have a hidden agenda? Boys, I am hurt that you think so little
of me", Cindy said, "I'm your mother after all."
"Yeah, right.", Cash said, "We all know about your compulsive need to
play Cupid, mother. You're probably just wanting to marry one of us
off to this Tarry person."
"Okay! I get the picture.", Cindy snapped, "I don't need a barn to
drop on my head. It just brakes my heart to see that all of my boys
are still undiscovered by the opposite sex. That's all. Motherly
concern, nothing more. Especially you Redd. Your father would roll in his
grave if he ever heard your attitude about girls.
"But what about Dr. Tenner?" Dusty said.
"Or the fact that half the girls at school want to date me," Cash
said.
Then, every one looked at Redd, who can only look back.
"What?" Redd said.
Cash sighed, as mother looked on.
"You've been marked by fate brother," Cash said to Redd.
Suddenly, there was the sound of a car horn from outside, promoting
Cindy to stand up.
"That must be them," she said excitedly.
Every one quickly moved to the front porch. There, coming up the
driveway, was an old, beat up, gray land rover. It looked like it was
taken directly from the planes of Africa, in that it was dented, and
had its spare tire placed on its all too flat looking hood. It had no
top on it, or even a windshield. Written in crudely painted letters
on the front fender were the words "The Anti Christ".
It's motor continued to idle sickly as it finally came to a stop, and
its occupants got out.
It was then that Cindy's eye's grew so wide, that they would have
fallen from their sockets if she leaned too far forward. Each of the
three Darenger brothers was equally stunned with the sight that they
saw.
At the wheel of the jeep, was... a bear. A large bear that was
actually driving. At first glance, it looked like a polar bear, but
it's features made it look like a grisly bear. An albino grisly
bear, driving a jeep.
Suddenly, a young man leaped out from the back seat. He was wearing
a gray pull over T-shirt and a pair of light blue sweat pants that
came up too high on his shins. No more than his sandals touch the
ground, when he started to hop. His hands were tied behind his back
and his legs were bound together.
"I still say the whole thing sucks, so you can count me out of this!
I wont no part of this scheme of yours, you old battle ax!"
The bear then instantly jumped out of the drivers seat and tackled to
defenseless boy.
"Put me down! Put me down right now you ugly wench! Do you here
me!", he continued to rant. It turned out that the bear wasn't
attacking him, but throwing him over its shoulder.
With its captive secure, it walked over in its hind legs up to the
porch. Without a single growl, it stepped onto the porch, and placed
the boy in front of every one.
He couldn't have been older than seventeen, the same age as Redd.
His hair was done up in a short pony tail that just came over his
left shoulder, giving him something of a rugged rebel image.
Suddenly, Cindy shook herself out of her state of shock.
"Just who the heck are you, and what you doing on my property!",
Cindy blared.
The young man only lowed his head, almost as if he was ashamed for
some reason.
"I'm Tarry Clearwater.", he said, "Sorry about this."
"T-T-Tarry?", Cindy said, "Tarry is a.. a.. boy?" She then began to
sway dangerously, and then fainted completely. It never accrued to
her sons that she needed to caught, and fell all the way to the porch.
The three Darenger Brothers continued to stair at the bizarre pair.
"Well,", Redd suddenly said, "Let's not just sit here like bumps on a
log, let's show him in, All right."
Cash hefted mother back up to her feet, while Dusty went out to the
jeep and collected two soggy bedrolls and back packs to bring them
out of the cold rain. Meanwhile Redd showed Tarry inside.
Then the darnedest thing happened. The bear came in as well.
"Don't worry about her.", Tarry said, "She's well trained." Tarry
then angrily glared at the bear for some strange reason. And for
some reason, Redd could have sworn that the bear understood the
insult, and glared back. Even so, it was remarkable well behaved.
Regardless, Redd was not about the argue with a 800 pound grisly
bear, albino or not.
Every one went into the living room, where mother was propped up in a
rocking chair to recover, mumbling slightly. When she finally came
too, she began too look around. Dusty and Cash were standing by her
side while Redd and Tarry sat on the couch, looking on. The albino
bear only stood quietly in the corner of the room.
Immediately, Cindy's eye's fell on Tarry, she grew long faced.
"A... boy."., Cindy said meekly, "I'm so disappointed."
"What did I tell you.", Cash said, "She really was expecting to set
one of us with this Tarry so she could marry us off."
Dusty sighed as Cash held out his hand, expecting it to be filled.
"You lose again.", Cash said, "Fork it over, older brother. 25¢."
With a sigh, Dusty dug into his pockets and produced a quarter.
While there mother growled at the though to being the butt of someone's
bet.
"I was not planning on marrying you off. It's just I assumed that
Kelley's daughter would be a girl," Cindy said.
"Well I only have one question.", Cash said, then turning towards
Tarry, "Are you supposed to be out new gym instructor?"
Tarry only sighed.
"I suppose so," he said sadly.
"Why not.", Cash said, "Besides, I would think a boy would better
appeal to clientele for martial art's any way."
"Hey!" Tarry said as there was a suddenly looked cross, "What is that
supposed to mean?"
That's when the bear did something else strange. It slapped its face
with its paw.
Tarry saw the bears strange gesture, and only hurumped. "Never mind
her. The old battle ax must be a mentally retarded bear or
something."
The bear, again as if understanding what was said, moved forward to
confront Tarry, who rose from the couch to confront it, growling at
each other.
"So, driving in the rain like that, you must be soaked.", Redd said,
"I imagine you want a hot shower."
Redd's suggestion broke up the fight between boy and bear, and Tarry
looked back at Redd with a strange look. A little unsure of himself
for some reason.
"Yeah, I would like one very much. Thank you."
"Redd," Cash said, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Nonsense, who ever heard of a Darenger that wasn't hospitable to
strangers," Redd said. He then turned to Tarry, and offered him a
firm handshake. "The name is Redd Darenger. Glad to have you
onboard. Now I will show you to the shower."
Redd then lead Tarry upstairs. Leaving his two brothers, and his
still stunned mother down stairs in the living room. Even as Cash
whistled that first few bars to the X-Files.
"So, you've been as far as the Straits of Magellan?", Redd said,
making small talk.
"Yeah, I guess so.", Tarry said. The way he said it made it like it
was no big deal.
"It must be exciting, going to all those far away places.", Redd
said, leading him to the bathroom.
"Believe me, Exciting is not the word I would use.", Tarry said, with
a somewhat weary tone in his voice.
"Anyway, you can sleep in the study. I will just have to fold out
the bed for you. But before then, I will make you something to eat.
Some home made soup, or maybe even some chili," Redd said.
Tarry looked at him strangely. "Excuse me?", he said.
"Well, I'm sort of the self proclaimed cook.", Redd said, "I'm rather
good. Won a few awards at the county fair. I was just thinking that
maybe a good home cooked meal might smooth things over a bit."
Tarry then offered him a weak smile, the first one he seen on him yet.
"Thanks. That's very sweet.", he said. Then his smile changed
oddly. Becoming warmer, "I would like that."
Redd's eyes flew open at Tarry's less than formal expression.
"Sure, ah.
On the way to the bath room, Redd passed by the linen pantry. "Oops.
There aren't any clean towels. I'll have to fetch them from the laundry
room. Why don't you go ahead and get your shower started. I'll be
in later to drop off the towels, and collect your wet things.
Tarry nodded. "Thanks," he said. He then closed to door to the
bathroom.
< + + + >
Tarry struggled to shed her tight clothing, and stood in the mirror in
her full naked glory. She could barley tolerate to look at herself
in this state. It didn't mater that it was a curse, that it wasn't
her choice, or that there was no way to permanently reverse the
effect. She still felt like a traitor to her kind. A traitor to her
self.
She couldn't help but stare in contempt at the handsom stranger that
was looking back at her. All her life, she was taught, and then
fought, to forge herself as an equal among women. And to forge
herself as superior to men as was her right. To never have to rely
on a man for any thing, save maybe affection.
She closed her eye's, and calmed herself.
No use crying about it now. One has to be strong.
Now that she was naked, she stepped into the shower stall, and pulled
the door closed.
The water at first, ran cold. But as it warmed up, she could feel
the change as it ran through her body. The transformation was
instant. With some satisfaction, she saw the shower head jump up by
about a half a foot or so, and she began to enjoy the hot shower in
earnest, in her true form.
But what next? She couldn't go out like this. But they would find
out sooner or later. And her mother wasn't about to keep quiet about
this.
< + + + >
Redd had completed the bed, and had laid out some of Dusty's clothes
for Tarry. He then returned to the bathroom. Inside, he could still
here the shower going. So without any further thought, he opened the
door, and stepped inside. He saw Tarry's clothing shed on the floor,
and began to gather them.
< + + + >
Oh well. I might as well as face the music sooner, rather than later.
Tarry then closed the faucets, pulled the curtain open, and
stepped out.
< + + + >
Redd had just spied a rather usual looking piece of underwear. It
didn't look like a boy's garment for some reason.
It was then he saw the shower certain being pulled open. There,
stepping out of the shower, in all her glory, was a very well toned
and shapely blond haired girl. Like a deer caught in the headlights,
Redd froze in her presence, staring at her naked form.
Then the girl's eye's met his, and all hell broke loose.
< + + + >
Cash had gone down stairs, and headed towards the kitchen to use the
phone. He would have to pass through the dinning room to get there,
and on the way, he saw his mom, talking with another woman who was
wearing a denim shirt that was heavily decorated with cheap
rhinestones, and alligator skinned boots. The two stared at each
other in a strange manner, as if they had learned that a relative had
died.
"So that's it," he heard his mother say said, "The life of an explorer
is a dangerous one indeed."
Cash shrugged, and moved back into the living room where Dusty had
just retrieved the last of there guests belongings from the land
rover, and out of the weather.
"Hey Dusty. Who as that strange woman in the dining room?" Cash
said.
"There's a strange woman in the dining room?" Dusty responded with
something of a dumfounded look on his face.
The two of them looked back into the living room.
"P E R V E R T ! ! ! ! Y O U'R E A D E A D P E R S O N !
! ! !"
The high pitched scream cut the silence like a sonic boom. Then all
manner of racket and commotion erupted from upstairs. The clamour
seemed to tumble downstairs, and then made its way through the living
room.
"What in tarnation?" the strange woman said standing up from the
dinning room table. Even as Dusty and Cash looked to the source of
the disturbance.
Both Dusty and Cash blinked in unison as Redd came sprinting through the
dinning room, as if the fires of hell were on his heels.. He skidded
to a halt next to the double half doors, then sprinted into the
kitchen.
"COME BACK HERE! ! ! ! ! SO THAT I CAN KILL YOU! ! ! ! !"
Dusty and Cash turned back towards the living room, just in time to
see a young blond haired girl sprint around the corner. She was
sopping wet, clothed only in a bath towel, and had a seething growl
upon her face.
She skidded to a halt on the hardwood floor, then sprinted into the
kitchen after Redd.
There was then the sound of feed skidding on the kitchen linoleum
floor, and then a dreadful crash.
Dusty and Cash exchanged glances, and then charged into the kitchen,
following their mother, and the yet unknown woman inside. There, all
four were met with an odd sight.
Redd was standing on the kitchen table, as if he had seen a mouse.
His fingers were crossed together, in a make shift cross, as if he
was trying to ward away a vampire.
The girl lay in a heap upon the floor, with a pile of pots and pans
on top her as she collided with the cooking utensil rack.
The only thing that had not been destroyed was a book shelf with
numerous, and heavy recipe books neatly placed there. But slowly,
yet surely, gravity began to work the book shelf loose, causing numerous,
heavy books
to rain down on the mysterious girl.
The woman sitting across from mother drew in a long breath, and
sighed.
"Every one, I want you to meet my daughter.", the woman said in a
bold and commanding voice. "Get up and say hallo, you shmuck."
The girl pushed herself to her feet, shrugged off the debris that
had fallen on her, and stood up, still wearing nothing but her towel,
that, and a frown.
She briefly looked up at every one, and then looked back to the floor.
"Well, what do you have to say for yourself now?" the woman said.
"I'm Tarry Clearwater.", the young girl said in a week voice, "Sorry
about this."
Redd, still standing on the table, frozen in fear, only seemed to
relax slightly. Then, the flimsy table that he was standing on,
collapsed under his weight.
< + + + >
It was getting late. Outside, every one could see through the dinning
room window that the rain had stopped, leaving behind a gray and dank
sort of day in the setting Texas sun.
Inside, the mood was damp as well. Nearly every one had taken up a
seat at the dinning room table. Cindy sat at her usual head of the
table.
Dusty, Cash, and Redd also sat in there usual places, but were all
staring at the two odd women who were now sitting at the other end of the
table. Dusty looked on quietly, patiently waiting for the matter to
make itself clear. Cash was leaning onto the table, his chin resting
in one hand, while Redd was bluntly tapping a slow and deliberate
rhythm.
The as yet unintroduced older woman sat at the other end of the table.
Her expression was a strong yet silent one. Revealing nothing. At
her side, sat the self proclaimed female Tarry, who was now dressed
in her usual clothing, consisting of loose fitting sweat
pants, and a gray pull over T-shirt.
Tarry starred blankly at the table, looking rather ashen and ashamed
of herself for a yet unknown reason.
"Boys, I want you to meet my friend, Kelly Clearwater, and her
daughter, Tarry," Cindy said, finally breaking the silence.
"Would some one like to explain to me, just what is going on here!",
Redd demanded.
"Are you really him? The boy we saw early?" Dusty asked quite calmly.
Tarry only let out a long sigh.
"Yep," she simply said.
"This. . . is just too weird," Cash said, "How is this possible?"
"Well, its something of a long story," Kelly said. She then stood up
from her chair. "And the best way to tell a long story, is to start
at the beginning, don't you think Tarry?" she said as she reached
over, and picked up Tarry by the front of her shirt.
"So why don't we start the show with a little demonstration!" With
that, Kelly neatly shoulder tossed Tarry into the water filled horse
trough just outside the front porch. Where Tarry promptly landed
with a loud splash.
Tarry suddenly stammered to the edge of the horse trough, then stood
up. Clearly fuming mad. She was also now clearly a "he" as well.
"What did you do that for?!" male Tarry hissed.
All three Darenger brothers blinked on in confusion.
"Tarry. . . is now a boy." Dusty needlessly stated.
Kelly stepped out onto the front porch, beaming.
"Yes sir. Tarry is now a boy. I always wanted a son," Kelly said,
"And I didn't have to go through four hours of labor this time neither."
"You're going to be seeing stars along with that son of yours in a
minute you old battle axe!" male Tarry snapped as he grabbed a water
filled bucket, and doused her mother with it.
Suddenly, standing in Kelly's place, with her ten gallon hat askew,
stood a towering, and some what stunned, albino grisly bear.
"You're a fine one to talk you circus throw rug," male Tarry quipped,
"My old lady is a bleached grisly."
"Grrrrrr" Kelly grizzly said as she hunkered down with mean look in her
eye. The two began to bat at each other.
Once again, all three brothers looked on in total befuddlement.
"S. . . s. . . she. . . . just turned into a grizzly," Dusty stammered.
"They haven't always been like this you know," Cindy said, "Something
happened to them when they were in Argentina. We'll give them a bit
to calm down, then try to make some sense is this. And perhaps some
coffee."
A few moments passed and every one was finally back in their chair,
and back in their true form. Kelly still wore a strong, yet silent
expression.
Tarry on the other hand, glowered angrily at her mother. With a look
that could kill.
"Yep, it's truly a fascinating story," Kelly said, "A tale of daring
do, great danger, lighting reflexes, where quick and cool wits mean
the difference between life and death. Where..."
Tarry then looked to other way then folded her arms in an unimpressed
manner. "Where a stupid foreigner who doesn't speak Spanish, and is
as gullible as two year old, is taken for a bath."
"Hey! Just who is telling this story any way, you or me?" Kelly
snapped, "Any way, It all happened three months ago. Tarry and I
were in the mountainous ranges of Argentina, looking for the Legendary
Lost Cities of Gold. We, and a guide that we had hired had been
traveling for many days, when...
< + + + >
The Anti Christ recklessly swerved it way along a bumpy and barely
visible path that was nestled into the thick groves of the jungle..
It's gears grinding away as it crawled it's way up where not every
four wheeled machine would have the power to push it's way through.
Franticly working the steering wheel, was Kelley Clearwater, turning
wildly this way and that, plotting a zigzag course to stay on the
trail. Tarry held on for dear life in the back cargo area. In the
passenger seat of the rover, was a dark olive skinned man who served
as their guide.
"Over there, Yankee. Over there.", he said with broken English.
"Here we go!", Kelly shouted as she spun the steering wheel about,
directly in the way of a rather large tree.
CRASH!!
All at once, the jungle was silent. With the exception of the
hissing sound of the steam escaping from the Anti Christ's broken
radiator,which was currently wrapped around a tree.
All three passengers were now upside down in the land rover, their
feet waving weakly in the air.
"Great job mom. Steering right into a tree," Tarry said, "What quick
reflexes you have."
"Hey," Kelly snapped, "He said left, I turned left," Kelly said as
she righted herself in her seat.
Tarry suddenly jumped up, and shouted into her mothers ear.
"Your other left!"
"Oh yeah, sure, now you tell me," Kelly said.
"Is no difference gringos, see?," There guide said, "Were here."
"You mean, we're at the Legendary Cites of Gold?" Kelly said as she
jumped out of the Anti Christ.
"All right," Tarry said, "But this sure does look like the rest of
the jungle."
"No no no. Not here, over hill," the guide said. He then pointed
just up the trail, "There."
"You hear that Tarry? It's just over the hill," Kelly said as she
ran up the path.
"I hear you. What are we waiting for?" Tarry said, chasing after her
mother. The two of them charged up the hill, unable to contain their
excitement. Then once they reached over the crest, the two of them
were spell bound at the sight before them. The two of them hugged
each other over the shoulder in joy. Unfortunately, both of them
were spell bound for different reasons.
"Tarry, daughter of mine, isn't that the most wonderful sight you
have ever seen?" Kelly said.
Tarry folded her arms and hrumped in doubt. "I don't know mom, have
I even seen three rocks and an over turned cardboard box painted
yellow before?" she said.
Indeed, they were looking at three rocks and a cardboard box, all
covered with faded yellow paint. But there was a wide valley that
separated them from there "goal" with only a narrow rope bridge
present to allow them to cross without having to forge the thick mud
that filled the valley bellow.
"Since when did you become so cynical?" Kelly said.
"Mom, it's a hoax. Did it ever occur to you that our guide might not
be entirely honest?" Tarry said. With that, both of them looked
over there shoulder, and at there guide. He was dressed with muddy
rags, a knife strapped to his hip, with shifty eyes that tracked
flies that buzzed around him until he swatted one next to a tree.
Kelly then folded her arms in an disapproving manner, "Now, don't you
feel ashamed of yourself. Thinking so lowly of a man that brought us
this far. He is the definition of honesty if you ask me. You're not a very
good Texan if you have that opinion about people," Kelly said.
"I know mother. I'm sorry. But where is the rest of it then?" Tarry
said.
"You do have a point. Hey amigo, where is the rest of the darn
city?" Kelly said.
At that point, he came running up next to them with a wide yet phony
grin on his face.
"The rest of it? Why, um, it's there. Yes. This only the suburb.
That it. Now hurry up. Running low on day light. Long way to go,
ci?" he said.
"Well, all right then," Tarry said.
The two of them started to make there way across the rope bridge.
"You know mom, any other guide might be tempted to cut the rope
bridge, leave us here to die, while taking our supplies and our land
rover," Tarry said as she carefully made her way hand over hand.
"Yes sir, one thing your ma is good at Tarry, is that she is a good
judge of character," Kelly said as she looked ever her shoulder,
"What the?"
At that moment, their guide was franticly working on untying the
various knots that held the rope bridge together. "Why you low down,
dirty rotten, sun of a snake in the grass," Kelly hissed, "What in
tarnation is the big idea?"
"Gringo take your supplies and land rover, ci. Brought you to
haunted place, no ordinary bog. When you fall into the mud, you will
change to little forest critters. Adios gringos. Tee-he," With
that, their guides pulled loose the final knot, and the rope bridge
collapsed. Both Tarry and Kelly Clearwater fell into the bog below
with a sickening spludge.
It took Tarry a few moments to drag herself to shore, covered in head
to toe in a thick gooey mud. Finally, she stood up, and began to
wipe the mud away from her eyes and mouth with her fingers.
"Oh that guide is such a dead man..... what the? What happened to my
voice?" Tarry said with a voice deeper than normal. She began to
feel her arms and hips, then worked her way to her chest. Only to
find something missing. She gulped nervously, then peeked into her
trousers.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! ! ! ! !
The scene gradually changes back to the Tarry Clearwater now sitting
at the Darenger's dinning room table. Only this time she is wringing
an imaginary neck in front of her and mumbling under her voice.
"What's that Tarry, did you say something?" Kelly said next to her.
Tarry only continued to mumble quietly, prompting Kelly to lean over
to hear better.
Suddenly Tarry jumped up, and screamed into her mothers ear at full
volume, "I SAID WHAT WAS THE BIG IDEA OF BRINING ME TO A PLACE LIKE
THAT ! ! ! !"
Kelly was suddenly bowled over by Tarry's voice, and collapsed to the
floor. Kelly quickly recovered to stand over her progeny.
"And what the heck is your problem? Did you think being an explorer
was easy? You should stare down gunmen with a smile, charge into
adversity with confidence," Kelly said. She then grabbed her
daughter buy her shirt, and shoulder tossed her into the water
trough. "Take pain with a smile, laugh at danger," Kelly continued.
"Laugh at this you sorry excuse for a throw rug," boy Tarry said as
he sprang from the trough with a bucket of water, then splashed his
mother with it, "Sacrificing my femininity was not a part of the
deal!"
One again, Kelly rose to her full height as an albino grisly, her
cowboy hat askew on her head, and she growled her displeasure.
"Sell it to some one who cares," boy Tarry said standing up to her.
All the while, the Darenger brothers looked on in disbelief.
Suddenly, their argument was broken up by Cindy Darenger giggling.
"Hey, I don't happen to think this is funny," boy Tarry said as he
folded his arms and looked the other way.
"Sure it is Tarry, its not all that bad after all," Cindy said as she
rose from the table. The then picked up a pot of coffee. "Cold
water turns Kelley into a grisly, and hot water turns you back
again," she said as she proceeded to poor the coffee over the grisly,
who began to struggle from the contact of the hot water. As
predicted, Kelly was returned to her original form.
"Dag'nabit. I turn into a grisly, not a lobster," Kelly barked.
"And Tarry, cold water turns you into a boy, and hot water returns
you to yourself," Cindy said as she tried to poor the coffee over boy
Tarry, but he swiftly evaded the hot substance.
"Hay, do I look like a McDonnell's drive through customer to you?"
Tarry said. Cindy than reached around and gave him a hug.
"See, it's not so bad. Just... complicated. But I can sure use your
help any way," Cindy said, "Ranching doesn't pay the bills like it
used to, so me and my boys are trying to build a local gym. You and
your mother would be the perfect instructors. What do you say Tarry?"
Suddenly, Kelly stood up, "We'll do it, won't we Tarry!"
"Actually, this might work out for the better. My research shows
that male instructors bring in more clients than female instructors."
"WHAT!!" boy Tarry snapped.
"Opps, you said the M-A-L-E word," Kelly said.
"And just what do you mean by that?" boy Tarry hissed.
"Isn't it obvious?" Redd said, "People just think men are better
fighters, and thus trainers, then women are."
"It will be a cold day in hell before Tarry Clearwater concedes that
men make better fighters than women do!"
"What are you complaining about," Redd said, "You are a boy."
"Oh, and I am suppose to take those words from a guy who cooks, cleans,
and does the laundry? Hah!" boy Tarry said, "I am out of here."
"Hold up there, just where do you thing you're heading off to?" Kelly
said.
"Back to Argentina," boy Tarry said, "There is no way that I can just
let this curse be. I'll find a cure if it's the last thing I do."
"But what about the gym?" Redd said.
"Sell it to some one who cares, sissy. I have more important things
to do," boy Tarry said.
"Sissy?" Redd repeated. Then he started to grind his teeth in range,
even as boy Tarry laughed on. Suddenly, Redd picked up a chair, and
held it over head.
Kelly's eyes dilated when she realized she was in the way, and
quickly side stepped. Tarry wasn't so observant, and was quickly
crushed under the chair.
"That was the one thing Tarry never quite learned," Kelly said,
"Shooting off your mouth usually gets ya' shot back at."
"She is a little high strung, isn't she," Cindy said.
"You should see her when she drinks or coffee instead of wearing it,"
Kelly offered.
< + + + >
Night time had fallen over the Darenger Ranch, and all the lights had
been turned out in the main house as every one retired for the evening.
Every one except Tarry Clearwater, who was currently sneaking her
way down the stairs, with a full back pack slung over her shoulder.
Looking back only once, she slipped outside through the dinning room
door, taking care not to slip and fall into the water trough.
Once outside, she was free to march toward the main road at a full
pace without alerting her mother or the others.
"Just where do you think your going?"
Tarry cringed at the sound of her own mother, who apparently had been
lying in wait behind a tree. But she then firmed up her resolve.
"You already know where I'm going. Back to Argentina," Tarry said.
"More like you're running away with your tail tucked between your
legs," Kelly said, "Wasn't it you who wanted to pick a spot to settle
down? Well here is your chance. I can't believe that your turning
your back on it so soon."
"What about my curse?" Tarry said.
"What about your curse? You know very well that there is no cure.
Do you think I would have left Argentina with out exhausting all
possibilities?" Kelly said.
"Come on mother! You of all people?" Tarry said, "You were the one
who told me to be proud to be a woman. How can I live this way?"
"I taught you to be proud of who you are, Tarry," her mother said,
"You just so happened to be 100% girl at the time. Now that's changed,
but life is about change. Right here at this very ranch, a good and
dear friend of mind is offering you an opportunity for even more
change. And you're running away. Or are you really letting that
male ego of your get the better of you?"
Tarry soaked up her mothers words, then sighed.
"I just have a bad feeling about all this," she said.
"Of course you have a bad feeling, settling down can spook a person.
But just know that I am here for you. I will always be here for you
Tarry. Less of course they throw me in jail. Then at least you know
where I am at in any given hour."
Tarry slowly let go with a reserved laugh at her mothers comment.
Finally, Kelly hugged her daughter.
"That's my girl. Let's go inside and grab some shut eye," Kelly said.
"Let's," Tarry said.