Violation of the Sixth Commandment "Kei-chan? Is something the matter?" Her husband's gentle voice snapped Keiko out of her reverie. "Um, nothing, Ben. Nothing. I'm sorry." She smiled weakly and resumed eating. She avoided her husband's gaze, but she could sense he frowned slightly. "We'll talk later," he whispered. She just nodded. "Son," Arthur Howard exclaimed, "it's already been three years since you and Keiko got married. Tell me, when am I going to have a grandchild?" Keiko reddened slightly. "Arthur!" Tamara Eastman-Howard chided. She was a middle-aged woman with auburn highlights covering the graying spots on her raven-black hair, and with almost a permanent smile on her wrinkled yet still lovely face. She and Arthur resided in Melbourne, where they spent their retirement days together. Keiko liked both her parents-in-law for they seemed to be the ideal couple: devoted to their three sons, accomplished a lot in their younger days, both charming and sweet, and after thirty-two years of marriage still didn't run out of love for each other. Keiko could almost see her and Ben in their places... almost. Because today's encounter with an old flame changed -- no, shatters -- her illusions of concealing her past feelings. "I'm sorry, Keiko," Tamara apologized, covering Keiko's hand with her own. "My husband is being tactless -- as usual." "It's alright, Mom," Keiko told her. She smiled at Arthur. "It's not like we're pressured or anything." "See, Tammy?" the older man winked at Keiko. "My daughter-in-law understands me perfectly!" Ben chuckled, and Tamara just shook her head. "Nevertheless," Ben spoke, "I'm so lucky to have a wife as wonderful as Yukimura Keiko." When he placed an arm around her shoulders, Keiko stiffened for a split-second. She prayed his parents wouldn't notice. This is insane, she thought. Yusuke is out of my life -- FOREVER. How can a five-minute meeting affect me so much? Forcing a weak smile, she inhaled. I'm not letting him affect me, she mentally chanted. I am not, I will not. "Besides," Ben continued, "it won't take long now. Keiko is one month pregnant." He beamed. "Really?" Tamara dropped her fork and was practically shrieking. "Is this why you invited us over to dinner? Oh, never mind, this is such good news!" She reached over and hugged Keiko. "Congratulations!" Arthur pumped his son's hand enthusiastically. "Thank you," I said, extracting myself from her hug, and from Ben's hold. "But, Mom, please. We don't deserve it yet..." "No, you silly girl, of course you deserve it!" Tamara scolded playfully. "Why, are you afraid it might get jinxed?" "No, Mom, I'm not that silly." "Don't worry, everything's going to be fine," Arthur said. He looked fondly at Ben. "Well, I guess I underestimated you." "It's OK, Dad, I'm used to it." Both men laughed at that. Tamara sighed dreamily. "Our first grandchild -- how wonderful!" Somehow, those words only added to the deepening pit in Keiko's stomach.
Later, after Ben's parents had settled in the guest room, Keiko was getting ready for bed. She splashed warm water on her face, all the while thinking what she would say to Ben. For sure, I can't tell him that Yusuke visited, she thought. Ben would most likely be uncomfortable with the fact that I was preoccupied with thoughts of an old boyfriend. She sighed. Heck, I can't tell Ben anything, she decided, washing off the rest of the liquid soap off her face. Ben's coy laughter drifted through the walls of the bathroom. Keiko could hear Conan O'Brien cracking another one of his corny jokes. She never appreciated the host, nor even tried to; it remained a mystery why Ben found him so amusing. But for tonight, she was glad he was glued to the TV set. If she were lucky Ben would have forgotten their little heart-to-heart conversation. But today wasn't her lucky day. Keiko climbed into bed, tucked herself under the covers, and hurriedly gave her husband a goodnight kiss on the cheek. As she was about to roll over on her side to face away from Ben, he said, "Wait a sec, Keiko. We're supposed to talk, remember?" She stifled a sigh. "I'm fine, Ben. Really. I'm just... tired." She reached over to switch off the bedside lamp. "It's nothing." He turned off the TV with a click of the remote. "Are you sure nothing's bothering you?" he asked concernedly. Keiko punched her pillow so she could avoid his stare. "Positive," she lied. She smiled reassuringly. "Good night." "Actually," Ben continued, "I have to leave for Australia the day after tomorrow. Maybe I'll leave together with my parents." His wife sat up. "Oh? Why?" It was wrong, but her mind whirred with possibilities... "A friend invited me to a seminar on software development, and said the lecturer might be interested in making me a potential partner," Ben said excitedly. "Wow, that's great!" Keiko said sincerely. "How long will you be gone?" "About three weeks." He sighed. "Will you be OK? I'd hate you leave you in your condition, but if I clinch this deal --- " Keiko shook her head. "It would be much worse if you don't go. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I can take care of myself." "Do you want Mom to stay with you?" "No!" Keiko said, a little too vehemently. Quickly, to cover it up, she said, "It would be too much trouble." "No, of course not!" "Tell you what," Keiko said, desperate for a compromise, "if it would make you feel better I'd stay with my parents." "Hmm," Ben considered, "alright, if that's what you want." "Congratulations, Honey. I'm proud of you," Keiko said, all the sweet words tumbling out of her mouth. But at the back of her head, she was wondering if she would see Yusuke again, when Ben's gone... Stop it! she scolded herself. Perhaps to ease the guilt she was feeling Keiko leaned forward and gave her husband a long kiss on the lips. You're with Ben, and that's all that matters.
She couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Ben's trip. Yes, she was feeling really happy for her husband, but that wasn't what she was getting so worked up about. "Not a day did I stop thinking of you, Keiko. I still love you." His last words echoed continuously in her head. "I still love you." She slutched the sheets tighter around her. Yusuke... Carefully, so as not to wake Ben, Keiko crept out of bed. She looked back at her husband's fitfully sleeping form, and breathed a sigh of relief. It helped that Ben was such a heavy sleeper. Silent as a cat she padded downstairs into the living room. There she plopped down on the sofa, and stared out the window into the clear night sky. When they were younger she and Yusuke used to talk outside in nights like this. They had lain on their backs on the plush carpet of grass on a nearby neighborhood park, watching the sun's rays fade into the blackness of the evening. They had looked up at the stars, and had even tried to count them, Keiko recalled, when they were in the fourth grade. They had gotten dizzy and confused, so they stopped. She smiled; she could still remember their last count had reached 214. In that park they had conversed about what had happened during the day, and their random, childish commentaries about the people, places and things around them. When they noticed that it was getting too late, Yusuke walked her home and they would see each other again tomorrow. Keiko sighed. She cherished those memories with her best friend. They were always open with each other, occasionally getting on each other's nerves, but they remained the best of friends. They treated each other like siblings, perhaps because they had none, but over the years their familial affection grew into something deeper. Yes, he in their teenage years he had never said it, but she knew that he loved her. She could go analyzing every day of their teenage days, but she could only figure out that he did return her affection for him. The kind of relationship that they had was sort of a casual thing; neither of them admitted anything to each other. He never courted her, but wasn't he always there to bash any potential suitor? And what about her? She was always there to tend to his cuts and bruises, and to look after his well-being. Somehow she felt responsible for his safety, as she couldn't count on his mother to be there for him -- that said without meaning any offense on Atsuko-san's part. However, after Yusuke's first reincarnation, Keiko knew neither of them could simply call the other "just my childhood friend". Who would, after they had shared a kiss? Perhaps indirectly, and forcibly so, but still? Keiko thought about the time Yusuke proposed to her, how he came close to losing her, and how she almost didn't hear the words come out of him: "Keiko... I said I love you!" It was his last, desperate call for her to make her believe, to make her accept his offer... and to make her wait. Her heart had soared at his confession, but joyful as she was she didn't show it; all she could do was agree indirectly. All the while she dreamed of what life would be with Yusuke -- and concluded that it would be anything but simple, with his youkai inheritance and his connections with the reikai. But she loved him, and told herself he was worth waiting for. He did return, finally... but they both knew it was all too late. And she began to hate the fact that a simple five-minute meeting could change her entire perspective and make her lose direction in her new life. It would have been a happy ending if he simply returned on time, Keiko thought bitterly. All the remorse she felt three years ago came rushing out again. She wiped away another tear -- she was surprised that, after the tears she shed this afternoon, her lacrimal ducts could produce more of the salty liquid -- and asked herself once more why life had to be so cruel. Curling herself into a ball, Keiko let out supressed sobs, with only the stillness of the night to hear and comfort her. Previous Chapter | Next
Chapter |