"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh!"

(A letter from Camp)

Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,
Here I am at Camp Granada.
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

I went hiking with Joe Spivy.
He developed poison ivy.
You remember Leonard Skinner?
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.

All the couselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators.
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

Now I don't want this should scare ya,
But my bunkmate has malaria.
You remember Jeffrey Hardy?
They're about to organize a searching party.

Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh,
Take me home, I hate Granada.
Don't leave me out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear.

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh please don't make me stay!
I've been here ONE--WHOLE--DAY.

Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah?
Let me come home if you miss me.
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.

Wait a minute...It's stopped hailing!
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball...gee, that's better!
Muddah, Fadduh, kindly disregard this letter!

--Tune: The Dance of the Hours

--Written by: Allan Sherman