Miscellaneous.
1. Tell the widow that he deceased's last wish was that she make love with
you.
2. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your
contact lens.
3. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.
4. Tell the widow that you are the deceased's gay lover.
5. Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
6. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
7. Walk around telling people you have seen the will and they are not in
it.
8. Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
9. Drive behind the window's limo and keep honking your horn.
10. Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him
into the coffin.
11. Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
12. Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.
13. Leave some phony dog poop on top of the deceased.
14. Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will can be
read before the funeral is over.
15. Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to soemone poor who
can not afford firewood.
16. "Totally gone with the wind"
17. "Lift and separated"
18. "Boys on the Side-of my Barn"
19. "Summer film so full of special effects we couldn't fit in the plot"
20. "The weather channel: The movie"
21. "Schindler's twist"
22. "Field of Debris"
23. "Dead Man flying"
24. "I, Cumulus"
25. "One house flew over the cuckoo's nest"
26. The splintered bridges of Madison county"
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the
California Department of Transportation's driving school:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the
same time?
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
Q: How can your reduce the possibility of having an accident?
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you no longer drive
lawfully?
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
Q: What is the difference between a flashing read traffic light and a
flashing follow traffic light?
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Gun
don't kill people. I do"
A: Always wears a condom.
A: your car.
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he /she is cute.
A: The color.
A: Heavy psychedelics.
A: Carry loaded weapons.
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.