Arthur Calwell
It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.

John W. Campbell
History does not always repeat itself. Sometimes it just yells "Can't you remember anything I told you?" and lets fly with a club.

Jean Galbert de Campistron
The heart seldom feels what the mouth expresses.

Albert Camus
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having tasked any clear question.

Albert Camus
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

Al Capone
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

Al Capone
You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Pierre Cardin
The jean. The jean is the destruction. It is the dictator. It is destroying creativity. The jean must be stopped.

Mariah Carey pop singer
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

George Carlin
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

George Carlin
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

George Carlin
If you have one foot in tomorrow and one foot in yesterday, you're bound to find yourself pissing on today.

George Carlin
How come wrong numbers are never busy?

George Carlin
Does that screwdriver actually belong to Philip?

George Carlin
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

George Carlin
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

George Carlin
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

George Carlin
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

George Carlin
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

George Carlin
Why do you turn down the volume of the radio when you're driving and looking for an address?

George Carlin
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

George Carlin
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

George Carlin
Why are we saving daylight savings time - and where do we keep it?

George Carlin
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

George Carlin
Do pilots take crash-courses?

George Carlin
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID he just whipped out a quarter?

George Carlin
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

George Carlin
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

George Carlin
How can there be self-help "groups"?

George Carlin
How do you get off a non-stop flight?

George Carlin
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

George Carlin
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

George Carlin
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

George Carlin
If cat's and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

George Carlin
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

George Carlin
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

George Carlin
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

George Carlin
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

George Carlin
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

George Carlin
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

George Carlin
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

George Carlin
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

George Carlin
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

George Carlin
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

George Carlin
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

George Carlin
If a man is standing in the middle of a forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

George Carlin
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Thomas Carlyle
The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.

Andrew Carnegie
The average person puts only 25% of his energy and ability into his work. The world takes off its hat to those who put in more than 50% of their capacity, and stands on its head for those few and far between who devote 100%.

Jim Carrey in "The Cable Guy"
The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.

Jasper Carrott
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I'm firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

Johnny Carson
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

George Washington Carver
How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.

Joyce Cary
For me, the principal fact of life is the free mind. For good and evil, man is a free creative spirit. This produces the very queer world we live in, a world in continuous creation and therefore continuous change and insecurity. A perpetually new and lively world but a dangerous one, full of tragedy and injustice. A world in everlasting conflict between the new idea and the old allegiances, new arts and new inventions against the old establishment.

Cat from 'Red Dwarf'
All hands on deck, swirly thing alert!

Cat from 'Red Dwarf'
I'm so excited all six of my nipples are tingling!

Dr. Tom Cat
Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!

Edgar Cayce
For, he that expects nothing shall not be disappointed, but he that expects much - if he lives and uses that in hand day by day - shall be full to running over.

Miguel de Cervantes
He who sings frightens away his ills.

Miguel de Cervantes
A proverb is a short sentence based on a long experience.

Miguel de Cervantes
He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses courage loses all.

Chevy Chase
I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

Chevy Chase
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

Chevy Chase
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

Chevy Chase
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Chevy Chase
The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

Chevy Chase
Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

Cher
Some women get all excited about nothing...and then marry him.

Cherokee Proverb
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced...Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Lord Chesterfield
Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.

G.K. Chesterton
Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

G.K. Chesterton
The really great man is the man who makes every man feel great.

G.K. Chesterton
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.

G.K. Chesterton
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero, but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

G.K. Chesterton
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.

George William Childs
Do not keep the alabaster box of your love and friendship sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving, cheering words while their ears can hear them, and while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier. The kind htings you mean to say when they are gone, say before they go.

Old Chinese Proverb
The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory.

Chinese Proverb
A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month's study of books.

Chinese Proverb
You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.

Chinese Proverb
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.

Winston Churchill
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Winston Churchill
I am always ready to learn, but I do not always like being taught.

Winston Churchill
In war: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Vicotry: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill.

Winston Churchill
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill
We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in teh air, we shal defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

Winston Churchill
...if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

Winston Churchill
I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Winston Churchill
The farther back you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.

Marcus Tullius Cicero 55 B.C.
The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.

Marcus Tullius Cicero
Avarice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey's end?

Marcus Tullis Cicero
The budget should be balanced. Public debt should be reduced. The arrogance of officialdom should be tempered, and assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt.

J.F. Clarke
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.

Henry Clay
Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.

Georges Clemenceau
A man's life is interesting primarily when he has failed - I well know. For it's a sign that he tried to surpass himself.

President Bill Clinton

Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

Ralph Collier
Usually, the food that you get in art museums is institutional revenge for the art that you get in restaurants.

Robert Collier
Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.

Charles Caleb Colton
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.

Charles Caleb Colton
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.

Henry Steele Commager
Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates bot new wants and the ability to satisfy them.

Confucius
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

Confucius
The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

Confucius
Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men.

Sean Connery in "Rising Sun"
If you have to resort to violence, you've already lost.

Joseph Conrad
You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends.

Marie Corelli
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which anser the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Bill Cosby
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby
I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it.

Bill Cosby
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

Rene Coty
It's taken me all my life to understand that it is not necessary to understand everything.

Parks Cousins
Make good habits, and they will make you.

Stephen R. Covey
People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about, and what you value.

Stephen R. Covey
The character, wich I believe to be the foundation of success, teaches that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.

Noel Coward
It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Alberta Lee Cox
It's not enough to be good if you have the ability to be better.

Robert Cringely
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.

Anthony Crossland
What one generation sees as a luxury, the next sees as a necessity.

Billy Crystal
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

e e cummings
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Cyrus Curtis
There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.