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| 08 January 1998 | Thursday | 09 Ramazan 1418 |
Are we having fun yet?
How would you classify the term 'having fun'? Will it come under virtue or sin? Apparently, the people of Pakistan would place it under sin. 'Fun is something only for naughty people, only for women with open hair, and men who smoke cigarettes and people who honk their horns for the heck of it,' plus all the stereotypical gibberish that has been handed from one generation to the next like family heirlooms. The message seems to be that to have fun is to be not natural, it's an abnormal act that should be discouraged and faced with such an errant person who indulges in fun, the ideal way is to give him a stern talking to, and perhaps a rap on the knuckles, unless of course he is a sadist which may give him immense pleasure.
Among the many things that this country has lost the sight of, one is that of having fun and enjoying the good life, or whatever is left of the good life. It is not enough that the economics of living has shown us all straining for that elusive smile, we put restrictions on our own selves in a twisted act of self-restraint.
The way we spent New Year's Day was a shame on our collective notions of leisure and happiness. To say that 1st January of any year has nothing to do with us for we are Muslims is quite hypocritical even for a nation which has banned alcoholic drinks and exports the largest amount of heroin to the rest of the stony-eyed world. We celebrate our birthdays according to the calender used by western nations, we date our cheques, pay our bills, cough up our children's fee and collect our salaries according to the western calender. So what is all the fuss about not celebrating the new year, when all the year around that is the axis we rotate on? And it's not all about aping the west. We are genuinely happy about surviving one year and seeing the light of the day of the next one, so why can't we revel in it?
But a week before new year's day, the law-enforcement agencies began issuing statements warning 'revellers and fun-seekers.' Warning them of what? How would a policeman establish that a person was revelling and having fun and how would the policeman enforce the law if he encounters an act of revelling? I can almost imagine a policewallah beckoning a few errant passers-by with a spring in their steps, roaming near the beach:
Policewallah: Hence! home, you idele creatures, get you home?
Is this a holiday? What know you not being mechanical, you ought not walk upon a festive day without the sign of your profession? - Speak, what trade art thou?
Fun seeker 1: Why, sir, a fun seeker?
Policewallah: Where is thy alcoholic bottle and thy eve-teasing sentiments. What dost thou with thy best apparel on?
And you, sir, what trade are you?
Fun seeker 2: Truly sir, in respect of a fine worksman I'm but as you would say a celebrator.
Policewallah: But what trade thou knave, thou naughty knave what trade?
Fun seeker 2: Nay, I beseech you is, be not out with me: though if thou art out, we can be out together. Soak in the last eve of the year and drown our sorrows by the banks of mighty Sea View, amidst whose edge many of the vilest acts of crimes are undone like the button closest to thy belly-button...
... And something along the lines of a Shakespearean farce.
But seriously, the citizen's need to lighten up. Forget the country's abnormal political Frankensteins that have been conjured up, the spineless presidents and the tongueless opposition, the political element is not the only living, breathing signs of life here, is it? In fact, they are having more fun than us. I'm quite sure the jailed politicians are having more fun in jail than you, a free man, have had the whole of last year. What dost thou without your festive clothes on?
Although the entire citizenry regardless of age, sex, class or race is entitled to, nay should, have fun, the demographic laws point out that the young and restless are most in need of releasing excessive energy. Now you can either use it negatively or positively, but to say that you can suppress it is like trying to smother a whistling kettle: the whistle will be heard, regardless of what you do, so there seems little point in not allowing the kettle to let out the high-energy steam.
But head for any of those wanna-be Disneyland outlets and you will find that anything which is above fifteen and has sparse vegetation on the face is not allowed in. As a friend reasoned quite logically, two girls (not related to each other) can enter as families, but two brothers cannot.
Having fun is not some capitalist theory, conceived by Zionist elements with debauchery, lechery and unchaste designs high on its agenda. It is a very normal characteristic of humans, to occasionally jump in the air, snap your fingers and give a high-five in a happy, ecstatic moment. But this spontaneity is missing in the gait of the countrymen. We walk in fear, stand in insecurity and sleep in self-drenched blankets of sadness. Even the media reflects this. Rarely does a story of romance, love and happiness makes the headline news. Even when the media does not find any news of mishappening or massacre, it chooses to accentuate some limp statement by the powers that be. A happy news is no news. And PTV always brings us to tears - either when it is boring us to tears or reflecting drama in reel life. The element of fun is left to the sad lot of Anwar Maqsood and Moin Akhtar who can be termed sarcastic and caustic rather than good-old-no-pun-intended-funny writers and actors.
The way we celebrate our two Eids also shows our lack of enthusiasm for festivity and our emphasis on poker-faced ceremonials. Eid is just the day we go to the mosque early in the day, hug all male relatives and hunt for that darn butcher.... that doesn't sound like fun to me?
That we don't have fun is no laughing matter, and that we revel in self-misery puts us in the twin spot of not just having a poor standard of living, but in fact, hardly living.
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