My First Journal: Started November 1991

Oh man, this is my firstborn. I this was the first journal that I ever took seriously, and the writing was actually pretty good. Wow, 1991, that was a long time ago. I wish I could write as prolific as I did then. Here it is, folks, back when the ideas were still fresh in my head!

all writing on this page is © NORIEL ACORDA

Noriel's Random thoughts on basically anything and everything in this universe we call: Home
November 1991 - Whenever I run out of paper

The inside flap:

Noriel Acorda November 25, 1991

8:30 P.M. central time

Here's a simple introduction for anyone who may be reading this journal. When I say "simple" I do not mean short, or elementary. I mean that it is an easy to read intro that takes no higher levels of thought to understand. Although, these higher levels of thought may be needed for the following pages of writing. I am experiencing the same excitement the authors of books must feel when they start on a manuscript. This journal was originally started on loose pieces of notebook paper. They are my "lost children" and are somewhere else in this world. This journal will serve a greater purpose to me than it does now because I intend to look upon it later in my life. I will see this journal as the thought patterns of a teenage boy around the turn of the century. to you others who are reading this now, I welcome you into my ponderings and hope that you understand that these are my opinions and they are just that -- opinions. So try not to be offended if my opinions differ from yours because diversity is what makes life interesting. I have taken into account the time factor into this journal and will make all my entries in waterproof ink. Hopefully, this will ensure the longevity of my written-down thoughts. If, however, I lose this journal, my thoughts will not be lost, but only be kept by my mind. Some will say that this journal is a symbol of egotism and to that I say...

SCREW YOU! you can start a journal yourself, but maybe you're too shy to have others peer into your life. Well not me, I intend to let others look at my thoughts and see how I look at existence. Now it is time to embark on a strange and wonderful journey into the mind of a sixteen year-old boy and see how it works. Let's be off! - 8:50 PM Central time

.....

November 25, 1991

9:19 PM CENT TIME

Appearances-- Why must we use them? Is it because we are a visual race who relies mostly on what out eyes gather? Appearances are merely illusions which are used either to enhance or hide what is hidden deep within our souls. Appearances should be used only to celebrate our latent, but true entities. Instead, they are used to deceive and to manipulate.. It troubles me when a girl will go out with a guy solely on the basis that he is handsome and later finds out that he possesses exploitive qualities. While I cry out against the use of appearances as the sole judge of character, I also understand that it is the fastest and easiest way to make judgment on a person whom we have just met. This "first impression" should only be used until we find out more about that person. Then, the "first impression" should be cast aside like a tool which was useful at one time, but now serves no purpose. Too many people are using the "first impression" as a permanent representation of a person's character. This should not be. We should all give each other many chances to present ourselves to one another without basing our judgments on only one chance. One chance is not enough to create an accurate representation of someone. God himself gives us an almost infinite number of chances to redeem ourselves. We should be the same with others. Being imperfect, we humans need each other to survive and that requires knowledge not only of ourselves, but of the souls of others.

-9:44 PM CEN TIME

.....

NOVEMBER 25, 1991 - 9:45 PM CEN TIME

Immortality- Oh how pathetically people would use this gift if it were bestowed upon them. Some would go about trying to become emperors while others would try their hands at becoming the saviors of mankind. I would put my immortality in yet another pathetic use and use it to better the lives of myself and my companions. To go about the Earth and just be able to afford the time to marvel at her beauty and to absorb those sights and sounds into my mind. I would climb the highest mountain, touch the deepest depth, and watch continents collide and separate. The true gifts of immortality lie not in world domination, but instead in the life cycle of the Universe. This means that the gifts of immortality lie not with the immortals, but with the mortals who take part in the epic of the Universe.

- 9:56 PM CENT TIME

.....

NOVEMBER 26, 1991 - 9:32 AM CEN TIME

Otto Richenbach was his name, but he was known to others as "Richy." Richy was the kind of person who could view events with an unnatural sense of apathy. This made him perfect for his job; a stellar questioner. They were beings who, for scientific reasons unknown, collected residents of the Multiverse and asked them incessantly many questions. Their purpose was known only to them and they would never divulge this knowledge to any non-questioner. Richy was uncommonly good at his job because he knew the right questions to ask without provoking his clients into violent actions. There was this one instance, however, when Richy unintentionally infuriated a young, hot tempered Jovian and was nearly killed by the jerk. I remember like it was yesterday...

Richy asked this Jovian if he enjoyed possessing such extraordinary strength (you see, Jupiter has a gravitational force that would flatten a house!). The Jovian answered, "Yes," and proceeded to flex his muscles when. Richy asked him if Jovians possessed the intelligence to put their massive strength to good use. Infuriated, the young Jovian commenced to unleash a pummeling which would flatten your Rocky Mountains. This is where I came in. I was hanging out at the water cooler when I was this behemoth raise his fist against this small, frail, trolagatite. This could not stand-- so, I got up from my seat at the water cooler and walked over to this young Jovian, tapped him on the shoulder and just belted him across his chin. Now I know as well as the next guy that Jovians can stand extreme amounts of pain, but I?m no Jovian.

.....

December 3, 1991 8:25 AM Cent Time

My name is of no importance to you, I am know by many people and have many names. I am feared by many people in many lands. I am hated by many and loved by few. I am the Destroyer! it is my duty to deem that which is unfit to live and then eradicate it from existence. Mother Nature condemned me to this role and it is beginning to take to my liking. Destruction gives me pleasure and vigor for I have nothing to do between genocides. I like to play with ways in carrying out my duty, whether it be a supernova, cataclysm, or world wide epidemic. I revel in new ideas and thoughts of destruction. I remember quite clearly one of my failed attempts at genocide. It occurred on Earth, a small yet thriving planet in the Milky Way galaxy...

.....

January 7, 1992

The deed is finished; Atlantis is no more. No longer shall this civilization plague the rest of the world. The Atlanteans are, or rather yet, were an arrogant race. They strayed away from worship of Gods and turned their attention to technology. The ancient Atlanteans were not like their spawn, they believed and worshipped the Gods. The newer, Atlanteans, however, turned their backs away from us and tried to become gods.

.....

January 14, 1992

I open myself up to ridicule and embarrassment by writing these words, but I must continue for the gain is...

.....

Well, well, well, well, how are you doing my precious brothers and sisters? Have we had a good day? Was it a day of glee, joy, and happiness? Did you enjoy living? I hope you have because I'm going to take you for a little trek; a journey, mayhaps, into my mind. Are you prepared to enter my world, my realm, my hell? Would you like to embark on a strange adventure? I hope you do, for it is time to leave the real world, if it actually exists, and enter my Sodom and Gomorra. Time to leave your safety, your safety, your safety, and enjoy a little surrealistic pleasure. Come, come one come all and feast your eyes upon the strange and the unimaginable.

......

March 13, 1992

When she walks into the room, she doesn't see me; nobody sees me. Yeah, that's it. I think I shall be called the Invisible man. Hey, that's a pretty good idea! I'll walk the earth and witness the harms and wrongs people commit unto one another. This will the grand, but I'm not really invisible; no, I'm just not seen by a few people, but these people mean a very lot to me. Nothing hurts me more than when I am avoided and disregarded for some unknown reason. Oh well, guess I'll just sit here and mope. It doesn't really matter, but who the hell am I kidding? Of course it matters; they matter to me, but it seems like they wouldn't give a rotting rat's ass for me at a garage sale. This invisibility is my own undoing; I shouldn't try so hard, but I do anyway and that's when I become transparent! Just like that -- I disappear and blend into my surroundings and become a human chameleon. Oh well, time to evaporate into a meaningless vapor for I foresee the arrival of my, heh, friends.

.....

March 13, 1992

Come along, come, come, come along little boy; come hither little lass. The time has come for you to leave your beddy-bye land of sweet dreams and enter my world of nightmares!

Come. come along, come, come, my sweet children and witness the wicked, wicked world of grownups! So, do you really want to grow up to be firemen and housewives? Well let me tell you that the world is a world of hurt and greed; Pain and Disappointment are permanent inhabitants here in this forsaken place.

.....

November 25, 1992

Lookee here - It's been one year since I began this little notebook and a lot has happened. This is my one year entry: Fuck it all! Everything has changed in my life! It's all twisted and turned topsy-turvy! My whole world has shifted and there's nothing I can do. Oh well, I guess I'll just ride it out and enjoy the adventure. and what an adventure it shall be! My senior year has gotten off to a great start: New girlfriend, lead in the play, first accident, seeing the Beastie Boys, going to Lollapalooza, and getting over Kellie. I could die right now and be perfectly happy.

.....

View from a window

I silently stand

at my window sill

wondering where she

is at this moment.

The stretching skyline

reveals nothing now.

I can't stop thinking

about her brown hair;

the way it flows down

her lovely white neck.

I miss not seeing

her smiling visage.

I long for her arms

around my body.

The blinking streetlights

say nothing about

my love's location.

She's hiding out there,

somewhere at someplace.

The many twinkling

stars remind me of

her captivating eyes.

Nowhere to be found,

my love is now lost.

And my window vies

becomes a jail cell.

11-31-92

.....

Luck

Stay where you are,

I'll be there shortly;

the words ring over

the electronically

magnetically

excited air waves.

I nervously sit

alone in my home

and wait for the doorbell to ring.

My love's at the door

and gives me a kiss.

It's such a thrill so,

I kiss her right back.

She walks in my house

and looks in my eyes.

Thinking to myself,

What a beautiful

girl, and what a lucky boy I must be.

.....

Memory

When you are gone,

my lips remember how you kiss me;

my arms remind me how you hold me,

and my skin reminds me how you touch me.

My fingers tell me how you feel,

my nose tells me how you smell,

and my heart tells me how I feel.

11-30-92

.....

She is the sun that brightens my day;

the light which brings warmth into

my cold, cruel world.

A spot in the darkness which

radiates outward and reaches me.

She illuminates my dimly lit land

and covers me like a mantle of love.

When she leaves, I am left alone.

Alone and cold in a land full of fright.

The sun is gone; my love's departed and

I sit there awaiting the dawn.

.....

12-1-92

Released-

I looked into your eyes

and I felt a feeling upwelling

inside.

I brought down my brow and

squinted my eyes.

My teeth gnashed together while

I tensed my neck.

My fingers curled up as I

clinched my fist.

Sweat trickled down my face

as my heart beats faster

and faster and faster.

The feeling feels harder and

harder to contain.

It makes its way to my hands

and enlarges my veins.

I raise my hand towards your

face

and release my feeling.

.....

Lover's Duty

Tell me you love me

and I'll tell you what I must do.

Ask for a task

and surely the deed is done.

Tell me of your sadness

and I shall give you joy.

Show me your pain

and it will be taken away.

Just tell me you love me

and by your side I shall stay.

Point out the arrows of your foes

and I will shield you from them.

Tell me of your thirst

and I will give you drink.

Tell me of your hunger

and you shall have your fill.

I will do as you wish,

I follow your will.

Give me your heart

and you shall have mine in return.

That is the lover's duty.

.....

Untitled Haikus

There she stands alone

beneath the old oak tree

become company

Rain falls on my face

while kisses land on my lips

loving in the rain

Her lips fit my lips

so I kiss them willingly

and she answers back

little time with me

very little privacy

oh well, let them see

Once again alone -

no one to spend this night with

in this lonely home

Pretty bird in cage,

allow me to release you

to be with me now

Come to me tonight

leave your cage my little bird

and fly to my heart

To my friends now gone:

You are never forgotten

alive in my heart (you live in my heart)

Too many problems

the end is not the answer