So you need some help with a relationship? Need to know whether to go to clown college or beauty college? Wondering if the goldfish you just bought will die within 3 days? Well, you've come to the right place. Because all you have to do is type in your problem and magically an answer will tell you what to do. I'm trying to avoid using the term 8-ball, because frankly I'm broke and can't afford a lawsuit.

Enter your problem below:

Please tell me your name: (Do not hit return)

Please enter your email address for more comprehensive help:

1) Describe your problem, but be sure you phrase your question as a yes or no question or else the answer really won't make much sense.

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