Orientation / Disorientation.
I don't think that I will ever forget my first experience at Anderson College. It was an experience that I hope I will never have to go through again.
On the morning of the orientation, I was extremely nervous. I was finally beginning college! I had asked few questions, so I knew little of what to expect. As I walked into the lobby of the Rainey Center, I noticed the other students who were there before me. Some of them were loud and seemed completely at ease. Certainly they were lost, or didn't understand that they were about to pay thousands or dollars to take tests. Others had evidently been involved in some kind of sleep deprivation experiment for the last few days, because they were too busy sleeping to be nervous. Then there were others who could neither speak nor hear, I assume, because they appeared to do neither. They just stood alone, perhaps thanking God that they didn't have to engage in, or listen to, the idle chatter of "What's your major?" or the classic "Where you from?" that permeated the lobby. Then there was me. Quickened pulse, beads of nervous sweat, and the look of a hunted animal upon my face. Here I was. Last chance of escape. My days of blissful freedom, moments away from certain annihilation. At last, my old life as a free spirit had ended, snuffed out by the pasting of a "Hello My Name Is" sign on my chest.
Now our first speaker of the day was Mrs. Carlson, a thin, soft-spoken lady. Very polite, yet I saw a woman who had been working too hard these last few days. I hoped she'd not been moonlighting as a postal worker, or this could get tragic!
At last, my first tests as a college student. The placement tests. Writing…these are topics? Math…what kind of language is Algebra? Is Algebrese a required foreign language here at Anderson College? Trigono-what? At this point I melted into a large puddle of discouragement and flowed out into the hall to lunch. Lunch…be afraid…be very afraid.
After lunch we had more lectures do you recall a commercial regarding an egg in a frying pan? Such is the brain of a freshman after the completion of these afternoon lectures. Any questions? (just thought I'd throw that in.)
Finally it was time to register. "Ahh!" I thought, with a nice warm wave of relief flowing over me, "This day is finally over!" Man, was I stupid. I was truly unprepared for the hours of torture that lay before me.
It is my sincere personal belief that the registration process is actually the final aptitude test. If you can successfully register, you are worthy to attend. (Sort of like the U.S. Marines boot camp.)
I will attempt to write an example of registration for those who don't know:
A: Find your advisor. (Good Luck.)
B: Tell him/her which classes you want, then speed scan through the academic catalog for those you can actually get into.
C: Go to room 36,592 on the 352nd floor (all stairs, by the way) of Watkins Teaching Center to get your student I.D from Mayberry's finest. (With apologies to campus security. I happen to LOVE the Andy Griffith Show.)
D: Go to room 12, 390 on the 67th floor of Watkins (at least it's down the stairs) to get your clearance card.
E: Go across the street to the financial aid office, because you have no clearance card in room 12,390.
F: After waiting three days at the financial aid office, you now have clearance. ***DO NOT LOSE THIS CARD!*** You will have to show this card to EVERYONE. (in retrospect, the Lunchroom lady and the Trashman didn't seem impressed with my clearance card. Wonder why?)
G: Now you must travel from room to room answering many questions such as: "Do you need a book card?" "Which meal plan do you want?" and "How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" You know, the basics. At this point I began to lightly drool and hallucinate.
Finally! At last you are now an official freshman at Anderson College! All that's left now is to drop by the bookstore and pick up your books. Heh! Heh! Heh! Please think this through a little more than I did. Do you really want to stand in another huge line? You have a day off before your first class: Must you get your books now?
At last your day is finally over. (Now it wasn't that bad, was it?) Now all you have to do today is finish unpacking, re-pack all of the things that you'll have to store at home because of lack of space, and collapse into a coma until tomorrow morning. Tomorrow will be a cinch compared to today. All you have to do is pick up your schedule and wait for your first class…Let's leave that alone for now. That's another story.
To conclude this journey into the wonderful experience that is freshman orientation, let me leave you with these two final thoughts:
And finally,
2) Hey, if you've made it through this, you're really a survivor. Look me up, I'd like to get to know you.