Spice, as is commonly known, was first imported from the Far East to Medieval Europe. It immediately became very popular because it was able to completely mask any hint of putrid quality from rotten foods, such as meat. Very similarly, the "Spice" we now see and hear cavorting on the air waves and squandering hard-earned American dollars, is, in fact, nothing more than an easily-accepted cover for something truly awful, and even potantially life-threatening.

Yes, that's right. The Spice Girls aren't just awful...they're GOD awful! Of course, many people would disagree with me. However, much like the hungry, desperate peasants of the Middle Ages, they are too uneducated to realize the potential harm behind their "easy way out," and since their way (and, pathetically, only joy) of life is threatened by any editorial negative comments from those with wisdom and experience enough to make them, they instinctively lash out at these brilliant thinkers. Partly it is because they are defending something they love, no matter how ridiculous, and partly it is because they secretly recognise that the "hecklers" are much smarter than they could ever hope to be and are jealous. Jealousy of course breeds animosity, and those same hecklers accept the animosity with grace, sympathy, and pity for these poor souls who compound their blatant idiocy by attempting to answer the observations made in their interests by the hecklers.

The situation is rather reminiscent of that of the huns. Having swept across the eastern plains, ravaging and plundering, they were finally brought to a halt by a group of exceptionally smart monks. These monks had heard of the raging madness and low intellect of the huns by word of mouth, and so were prepared for the huns when they arrived. The monks enlisted the service of a group of maids from the village and taught them to sing (actually, more like squawk; time was of the essence) and sway provacatively whilst clad in scanty outfits. This group was sent wandering on the roads to intercept the huns and steer them away from the village. Unfortunately, times being what they were and ancient mentality not being at all similar to present mentality, the huns raped the group, then shackled them, sacked the village, and continued onward, counting themselves exteremly lucky that they now had a personal dancing troupe. This impressed the other huns immensely and the other tribes began trying to do it themselves. They failed miserably.

One must question the huns' intentions. Certainly they were not at all moral or honorable by today's standards. But were the end results so much different from today's musical (cough-cough) groups? Indeed: quite often, they were better.

Seriously, how could a group named "The Spice Girls" really be any good at all? It seems painfully obvious that the need of an exciting, suggestive title only need arise as a cover up for lack of talent in other areas. Why else do we have I.B.M., Soft Scrub, and Red Hot Chili Peppers? Not to mention Vanilla Ice, The Monkeys, and Lay's. All have provocative, euphemistic titles to hide inferior product quality. But how does this relate to the Spice Girls? One wonders, what could possibly be wrong with an innocuous title like that? It's quite simple. "Spice" has been used in many science fiction novels, and recently in real life, as a euphemism for drugs (Dune and Star Wars are well-known examples), and the word "Girls" is used frequently to suggest sexual contact under the age of consent, a very popular fantasy among the male population (adult entertainers usually use "girls" for the more-accurate "women," as in "topless/bottomless girls," or "girls! girls! girls!").

But this evidence is, of course, meaningless to those who are easily lulled (strangely enough) by the screeching and clanging of the Sirens ca led "Spice Girls." These people are afraid of change, and they find a modicum of assurance with this group that capitalizes on fads and survives on imitation. Here they can find a musical (cough-cough) group with the same tastes and nuances as they, and, in a media-centric world where changes happen before causes even exist, they need all the reassurance they can get that they are not, after all, blind and hopeless morons.

                          I’m completly and totally fed up.  Fed up with everyone telling women what
                          they must be - or suffer the consequences.  “Be on my side, do what I say, or
                          you’re not a REAL feminist.”  It irritates me to no end.

Now, correct me if i’m wrong, but I believe the whole idea of feminism is;
women can do anything.  Isn’t that true?  Isn’t that the whole idea behind
feminism - that women can do what men can?

 So, when did it turn into; women can do anything - oh, unless they’re
housewives.  That’s sexist, because she’s not living up to her full
potential.  But women can still do anything - unless she actually likes
having sex.  That’s sexist becuase men like it too.  But women can still do
anything!  Except if they want to be stronger than men.  That’s reverse
sexism.  But women can still do anything!..... unless they want to be
submissive or ‘sweet’.  That’s sexist, because men LIKE submissive, sweet
women.
 And then, in the midst of all of this chaos and arguing, comes the Spice
Girls.  Emma is ‘sweet’, Mel C want’s to be stronger then men, Mel B seems to
really like sex (in some form) and what happens?  People bash them.  Somehow,
it’s not suprising to me.
 Oh, not all the bashers are evil (the page that’s posting this letter
actually makes good points) - but I find it odd that most people who claim
that they’re only against the Spice Girls music like to attack them
personally.  They dig up dirt on their personal lives and spew it out.  They
twist the quotes of what the Spice Girls say, and ignore anything that might
not make the girls look stupid.  Why is that?  Can someone explain this to
me?
 And, ah yes, the music.  People bash it as well for being shallow and
psuedo-feminist (there’s my original point again......).  Is it deep and
thought provoking?  No.  Is it pure genious?  Nope.  Is it the most inspired
work of the 1900’s?  Defnitly not.
 All the music is, is .... fun.  It’s not there to inspire deep thoughts or
make you cry or provoke deep emotion.  It’s just for fun.  It’s five women,
with a lot of energy, having fun.  That’s IT.  If I feel like crying or
thinking deep thoughts I listen to NIN or Fionna Apple.  But sometimes, a
lighthearted mood comes along, and I just feel like dancing or goofing off -
and for this, the Spice Girls are perfect.
 Alas, though, many-a-basher will be laughing at me by now.  It seems as
though every other anti-spice page spends half it’s time trying to think of
ways to make the spice fans look dumb, by making fun of grammar or spelling
or such.  Some of the letters deserve it.  Several that i’ve seen really
don’t.
 This would suggest that our girls provoke the same reaction as the comic
book VAMPS, the show La Femme Nikita, and the very real Lorena Bobbitt (with
her equally realy knive) provoked before them.
 The reactions to such things can be drastic and extreme.  To some people,
women who are both sexual and strong are terrifying.  Women envy them, and
men are afraid of them.  These people, to hide their feelings, become
bashers.
 Then there are those who believe womenb should be restricted and should be
allowed neither sexuality nor strength.  These conservative types also become
bashers.
 To add on to this ... colorful ... list, are the people who think that women
should be strong - but that there are only certain types of behavior that is
trulystrong.  Because the Spice Girls don’t fit into their narrow view, these
people also bash.
 On the other side of the spectrum, there are those who see the highly sexual
nature of the girls - and nothing else.  They worship the girls for their
bodies only.  These people become worshippers.
 And finally, someplace in-between, come the people like me.  People who see
the girls fearlesness, sexuality, strength, and conviction and feel respect.
 Personally, I think any girl who can love her body, has the guts to sing
live, lives her life to the fullest, can laugh of bashers and STILL has fun
deserves to think she has real girl power.
 If you don’t like the Spice Girls music, you have that right.  If you don’t
like the girls themselves, that’s your business.  If you like to spread your
distaste of  them, the first amendment allows that.
 But next time you make an update on your anti-spice page, ask yourself why.
 do you have a real point to make, or are you sinking to the level of the
worshippers?  If you are, then why claim that you are so much better?
 To cut it short: examine your own motives.  You may be suprised at what you
find.