Chelsea are in the position now that not only must they win their own games, but be dependent upon the teams around them slipping up. This is hardly the way a team aiming to play in the Champions League should be plotting it's course. In my opinion, Chelsea will not and should not reach the 3rd Champions League qualifying berth this season. This year's performance does not merit it and qualification would probably result in a first stage exit from the competition which would be humiliating, bearing in mind that England is represented by three of the final eight teams in this years contest.

The UEFA cup is a much more likely prospect. Our early exit this season came at the time of managerial upheaval and so could almost have been expected. The fans have had a little extra pocket money all year really. With early exits from the Worthington and FA cups you could argue that we have had a mid-table season and will probably finish as the 'best of the rest' (the rest = Aston Villa, Leicester, Sunderland, Ipswich, Newcastle).

I arrived at Stamford Bridge and took my seat a whole 15 minutes before kick-off - an entirely new experience, but one worth repeating. I didn't have to do that stupid trot down the Fulham Road - the one we all do that resides somewhere between a brisk pace and a slight jog; neither did I have to queue for a programme, but, best of all, I was straight through the turnstiles.

That's the bit I hate most, and is why we all do that stupid Fulham trot, because we know we are heading for a bottleneck. It is full of blokes who have been 'out for a few jars' and are desperate for a burger, pie or hot dog, who think they are gods gift to women even though most of them have nose hair you could swing tarzan off, are only confident in packs, and have that huge overhang belly thing going on.

The one drawback of getting there early though was that once you had eased through the turnstile and gone up the stairs, the place is mobbed - here everyone is swilling beer and betting ridiculous amounts on ridiculous odds. Just because Southampton were in town and that they didn't have a bona fide manager as such since that bloke who doesn't like wheelchairs left to go and work at some third rate club from Noth London, people were betting on 6-0 and the like. One-eyed idiots!

Seeing the teams limbering up, I caught sight of Super Dan Petrescu - his second visit to Stamford Bridge this season in opposing colours - last time he was here it was with Bradford City or 'The Bantams' as they like to call themselves, presumably in order to strike fear at the very heart of their opponents - Yeah right!

Chelsea fielded an unchanged side fom the one that had comprehensively seen off Derby a few days earlier, and early signs were that they would do the same to Southampton. Hasselbaink was put through by Le Saux, was NOT caught offfside and only had Paul Jones to beat. He slowed up as Jones ran out and managed to put the ball over the crossbar. The crowd were already cheering a goal and not one of us could understand how he had missed a sitter like that. The replay showed that on receiving the ball he glanced sideways to check for the offside flag because he was expecting it to be up. Nobody ever gets caught offside more than him and I don't think he could believe it which is where his concentration went.

Apart from this opening moment of wonder, the rest of the match was dire. Midfield was so crowded that the ball very rarely left the area, possession passed from one side to the other every two kicks, thanks to interceptions, mis-kicks, panic, clumsiness and underestimation of the opponent. This is why the 1914-1918 war took so long - you had the whole of Europe to play in but decided to concentrate all your energies around a piddly 10 miles in Belgium! The goal, when it came a few minutes before the break was a scuffed affair between Le Saux, Hasselbaink, Poyet and the woodwork. Indeed had it not been for the woodwork there would have been no goal. The rest of the game is not even worth mentioning.

What is worth mentioning is the wonderful performance of Bumnal. When the announcer said at half time that Arsenal were 2 down at home to Boro (!!!) I thought, bloody hell, El Crim Tel must have given Arsene a huge bung for that, but then it was announced that these were 2 own goals by the Arse themselves - Well done lads! I did take some satisfaction from this though. Firstly, it gifted Man Utd the championship again, but, having played Coventry earlier in the day and been made to sweat by them, the fans had all gone home, and so were not all together at Old Trafford to enjoy their success. Secondly, a win by Boro and Man City, has put Coventry in the doo-doo again and it is about time that the premiership lost that lot of dead weight.

Anyway, enough already, all we have to do now is watch Man U get dumped by Bayern, Leeds to champion Deportivo but fall prey to Arsenal in the next round, who themselves will be sent packing by Galatasaray in the final again! I've chosen not to mention Fulham this time, I'm sure you all have your own opinions!

Yes we have achieved the ultimate accolade: being slagged off by Murdoch's empire and still winning a game. A weekend which was dominated by countless souvenir pullouts celebrating Manu's success, which no doubt led to a lot of celebrating in Hants, Sussex, Middlesex and an outpouring of concentrated hate in Lancashire in general and the cultural OASIS of Manchester in particular. We beat the Hoddle-less wankers from the south coast with an Arsenalesque one...niiiil.

We were awful, but won.. Hasslemoaner should have sorted it out after the first minute but with Sutton-like accuracy managed to fail against the admittedly excellent sheep shagger Jones.

Southhampton had one player of class, who managed to save on the line and nearly scored. How long until Superdan will play for the North London scum?? Zola was yet again by far our best player. Marcel did his job as did JT. Socksy did cross a couple, one of which led to the goal. Dennis and Sam battled in midfield.

As far as the ref was concerned I do believe we should have an enquiry... has Dr Les started selling funny fags and other tinctures by mail order ? He did seem under the influence...

Thanks to both Nialli and Klaus for excellent reports - any positive feedback will be appreciated. See below for the email address - Priesty.

What do YOU think ? Want to add your point of view ? Here's your chance to send me some feedback. NB: Opposing fans: abuse will be laughed at and then binned, so don't waste your time. Considered, intelligent argument, presented in the spirit of friendly rivalry guarantees a response.