I’m writing this on the plane after a 4 day trip to sunny London. I'd better be quick as the Xanax is about to kick in and I will drift into that imbecile mode we all know and love. I will nod off, to awake 4 hours later with drool dripping onto my shoulder and an urgent craving for a Kit Kat – you’ve got to love air travel.. Fuck, a lot has happened since we last spoke. Where to start ? So we got fucked out of the cup on penalties. Who cares? It's ancient fucking history. Liverpool will get taken to sketchleys by AC, any fool can see that. I can’t see any shame in us getting dumped out on pens. At least it was in the semis and not in the FA Cup 4th round at the hands of cunting Milwall at the Bridge. Still, even that had its funny side, what with horses on the pitch and mayhem in the Fulham Road. So here’s the deal, I don’t give a toss that we’re out. At least now I don’t have to travel to Athens to watch Tommy Seagull (Priesty's brother) acting the goat. Mind you, on the night it was a fucking choker. The only way I could handle the pain was to get nastily drunk and the next thing I know it's 2am and I'm standing bollock naked outside my hotel room, pissing in the stairwell and having a row with a fellow guest in the brightly-lit reception. I would just like to say to any youngsters reading this that drink is a terrible thing. You should follow Priesty’s lead and stick to the smack. On the bright side, you know there is a god looking down on us when you see photos of Reina’s burnt out Porsche. Penalty shoot out hero ? Hope that keeps him happy when he's waiting for the bus or trying to scrub out the stains where the burglars had a turnout on his shag pile. When I heard that Sir Ken had bought Dirty Leeds I, like many others, thought he was an amoral sociopath who had disgraced the very name of Chelsea. But Ken, if you’re reading this I want to apologise because I didn’t see your cunning strategy of taking them into the 3rd division, financial ruin and a steady march into the Vauxhall Conference. I say well done Sir Ken, we’re not worthy. An own goal in the Man Utd game? Are you having a fucking laugh? You are a disgrace. What did Gary and Neville Neville offer you? Being allowed to sit in the front seat on the weekly family outing t'pit ? How can you look at yourself in the mirror ? You cheating northern cunt. When we last heard, Ron Atkinson was pimping his family in the street meat prostitution business. Now news has reached me he that is thinking of standing as a BNP candidate, sucking off combat 18 morons to gain grass roots support. You know that Marcel is just biding his time before happy slapping Ron and posting it on YouTube. That I would pay to see. The FA Cup is a beautiful thing, don’t you agree? Fergie is showing advanced stages of Alzheimers. Bringing on O’Shea, substituting his Captain, thinking that Man Utd were denied an obvious goal when Giggsy put the ball into the net, Petr Cech and all ? I can’t remember having that much fun since Priesty was arrested for vandalizing his neighbour’s car and made to wear one of those paper suits while his clothes were with the forensic boys. Fergie, if you are reading this: we all knew that the Cup was coming home to Chels as soon as we saw Darren Fletcher's name on the team sheet. Do you know this Rob Hughes, the well known Chelsea hater and sometime football writer ? I have just read his ravings after the FA Cup final. He starts by suggesting that all Chelsea fans are racist bigots who are too thick to realize that Didier and Petr are not from these parts. This is the same Rob Hughes who is the only sports writer who stills uses the term Chelski – which is a race hate term against our Russian comrades. Remember, Rob, if it wasn’t for the Russians standing up to the Nazis in Stalingrad we would all be wearing leather shorts and sporting small moustaches. That aside, Rob felt that now is the time for goal line technology to settle incidents like when Giggsy bundled the ball over the line, and even if it was a foul on the keeper then Ryan should have had a penalty before that ! Come on Rob, you’ve got to give it up and face up to the fact that when you are old and incontinent, living alone in a damp bedsit, Chelsea will still be thrilling the crowds and winning everything in sight.
Goals of the season: Les Top 5
You see my point ?
Les.
Good to have you back, Doc - I can find no fault with your most of your determinations but must point out that your opinions regarding BFR Atkinson or any other of the luminaries that you have lampooned do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the owner of this site, i.e. me. That said I totally agree with everything you say about Rob Hughes, Millwall, Gerarrrrrd, Tommy Seagull, Reina, Fergie, Ken Bates, the Neville twats, O'Shea, Giggs and Darren Fletcher..
© 2007
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Sir,
