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I don't know if it's a nationwide commercial, but here in the Washington, D.C. area there's an ad for a new thermometer with a digital display.  This mother sticks it into the ear of her newborn.  The display then flashes 102 degrees and she smiles, content in knowing that, even though her baby will die within the hour, but at least it was very easy to take the temperature.


    I like to read words.   - P. Tschirhart, my former Chemistry teacher


    Click here for a sample of superior intelligence.
    
You don't want to upset the nice alien, do you?
    

    


    One Nuclear Bomb can ruin your whole day...   - Greenpeace Australia


    "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before."   - Butthead, The Beavis and Butthead Movie
    



    Has anyone noticed all of these cereal mascots that never get any cereal?  Fred Flintstone won't give Barney any "Cocoa Pebbles", the Cookie Crisp Crook can't get any Cookie Crisp, the Trix Rabbit can't have any Trix even though he is on the box!!!  In my opinion, these characters should take some lessons from the Snackwells Cookie Ladies.  They always get their  sugar by-product.  


    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left.   - Nate Droney


    Listen up, 'cause I've got nothing to say, and I'm only going to say it once. - Yogi Berra


    There seems to be a misconception going around that rooms are meant to be clean, and objects put on things called... shelves.
The whole point of having a floor is to pile stuff on top of!  Some people didn't understand this
and these were the people who invented carpeting.