What does that have to do with the rest of this tirade? Nothing, except for a veiled
reference to the tirade's style:
- --JEFF BEUKEBOOM'S retirement July 15, expected though it might be
because of post-concussion syndrome, not only leaves the Rangers with only three links
back to their 1994 Stanley Cup title (2-Leetch, 9-Graves, 35-Richter), it leaves them
without one of their neatest players. In his eight years as a Ranger, Beukeboom went from
unknown tough-guy to Brian Leetch's protector to a valued veteran presence on the
blueline. He will be missed for more than his thumping.
Here's hoping the Rangers find a night early in the season to give old No. 23 a
couple of pregame parting gifts. He's not number-retirement calibre, but it would be nice
to let the roof blow off the barn with one more "Beeuukkkk"...
- --I DON'T KNOW, but I find I'm cursing less since seeing South Park:
Bigger, Longer and Uncut. Maybe it's all in my damn subconscious, but those little
sh*ts have kinda shocked all the f*cking curses out of my ass or something.
- --IN ALL seriousness, SP: B, L & U was an amazingly funny movie. I
don't think I've sat for an hour and a half and laughed that hard that sustained. Yeah, there
were some queasy moments (Conan, Gates, some of the Mole's worse tirades), but all in
all, hilarious. A must-see, and probably a must-multiple-see.
- --MAYBE THE biggest contribution of SP: American hockey fans are going
to have some decent lines to heave at their Canadian brethren. "Blame Canada,"
indeed...
- --I WANT MORE "Kenny unhooded"!
- --TOP OF my head, I can't remember seeing three movies in less than seven
months that were as funny as Analyze This, Election and SP: B, L &
U. And then there's SW: TPM....
- --AH, SW:TPM -- I'VE seen it twice (shaddup!), and both times have
come away feeling pretty much the same thing: Very good, but not as satisfying as the
original was, both when I first saw it (1980) and even recently. I just can't put my finger
on what it is about Phantom Menace that missed. But it wasn't anything huge -- it
was a fun and spectacular little ride for two hours, which is all I really wanted, anyway.
Maybe I expected a little more, but hey, I paid twice, didn't I (shaddup!).
I guess the good and the bad about Episode I are both the same thing -- I can't
wait to get past this one and see Episode II.
- --MOST ANNOYING song stuck in my head the last month: Eve 6's
Inside Out. Heart in a blender, indeed...
- --MOST ANNOYING construction that I'm overusing lately: "(phrase),
indeed..."
- --BEST SONG stuck in my head the last month: tie, Smash Mouth's All
Star and Madonna's Beautiful Stranger. And no, haven't yet seen Austin
Powers 2.
- --WELL, THAT BEST SONG category should probably include Cartman's rap from the July 14 episode ("Cat Orgy") of South Park. "West Cowboy from the West Side..."
- --BEST SONG I'm enjoying in small doses but that doesn't seem to get stuck in my head for whatever reason: Get What You Give, New Radicals.
- --BEST COVER of a '60s song I didn't like: Pearl Jam, Last Kiss. They've made J. Frank Wilson listenable...
- --THEY KEEP pulling singles off of Fastball's All the Pain Money Can Buy, but I still think it's top to bottom the best album out there in the almost two years since Green Day's Nimrod.
- --MAYBE IT'S just me. I mean, I like the song a lot and all, but the Lenny Kravitz video for Fly Away is so choppy and weirdly edited and full of shaky screen-shots, and he's got such weird big sunglasses on that, well...
Well, Mrs. Willis's kid looks like a Muppet.
Watch the video and tell me I'm nuts.
- --HOW I'M blowing my already paltry income: Picked up a couple of early-to-
mid-'90s boxed sets of '50s stuff this month, The Drifters Box and They Call
Me the Fat Man: Antoine "Fats" Domino, the Legendary Imperial Recordings. Both
are fantastic collections of R&B and early R&R, and have done the unthinkable -- they've
relegated to backup status a Dion and the Belmonts package I picked up at the same time.
Highly recommended on the first two, and recommended on the Dion (hey, I'm an Italian
kid from Da Bronx, I'm required by law).
- --AND SPEAKING of Antoine, according to the liner notes to the boxed set, this Dec. 10 is the 50th anniversary of the recording of his first Big'un, appropriately enough entitled The Fat Man. It might well be the first-ever Rock and Roll record (I still lean toward Jackie Brenston's 1951 Rocket 88, but I'll gladly defect to the Domino camp for a party), so some kind of date-marking seems appropriate...
- --AND SPEAKING of already paltry income, I've only got four more months before my health insurance runs out... I need either a cheap alternative or bennys. Any reasonable suggestions are appreciated, particularly if it involves covering pro hockey...
- --COMFORTING (that's sarcasm, Chuck) OCCURRENCE of the month: got
a letter from the company with which I have my health insurance on July 9, saying I've
been discontinued for not making my May payment. This is of course disturbing since at
worst, they would have made this decision on May 31. Nice of you to tell me a month
later. This is also disturbing because in my possession at the time were cancelled checks
back from said company. These were my May and June payments.
Had to wait out the weekend, but when I called Monday the 12th, I was told that
the letter was sent in error, that I was indeed still on the plan and never had been removed,
and that I was paid up until July.
This is part of why locking myself in my room sometimes seems very, very
appealing.
-
--I'LL FREELY admit to getting pumped when Briana Scurry made the save in the
penalty-kicks shootout (more in a moment) in the World Cup final, and to feeling a brief
little patriotic rush when Brandi Chastain put it away. And best of all, to vicariously
feeling the old goalkeeper's twinge of terror followed by surge of relief when I saw the
replay of Kristine Lilly's header save off the corner kick. But I'll guarantee you this right
now -- I wouldn't watch a minute of a women's pro league without being paid to do so.
Hell, I don't even watch MLS (though if I really paid attention and knew when it was on, I
probably would).
- --AND SPEAKING of Scurry, a couple of people (the AP and the New York
Post both ran big ol' "She admitted it!"-style headlines) are making a big deal about
the way Scurry crept forward off the goal line during the shootout in the final. That, by the
rules, is a no-no; on a penalty kick, you aren't supposed to move off the line until the ball's
been struck (yeah, listen to the old goalkeeper talk soccer rules). Mmm-hmm, she's illegal.
Now, tell me the last time you've heard that called. Actually, I thought she was even
farther off the goal line on a couple of China's goals.
Yeah, I know "Everybody's doing it" isn't an excuse, but, well, everybody's doing
it. Blame the referee for not calling it. It's not like she had anything away from the play to
be watching.
- --I WENT OFF on the 4-on-4 in overtime rule when the AHL adopted it as an
experiment in February (click on Four
on...SCORE! if you need a reminder), but lemme reiterate: BAD. VERY bad.
REEEEELY, REEEEELY bad. This isn't your run-o'-the-mill, skate-in-the-crease bad.
This is dock-the-Hindenburg-oh-the-humanity bad. There's no need to change around the
fundamental way the game is played. But if you desperately feel a need to change the
game around, Mr. Basketball Guy and pals, change the whole game around. Otherwise, if
you want to break ties in an entertaining fashion, bring the pee-wee teams back out and let
them play five minutes for the extra point.
- --MEMO TO SELF: Bring pee-wee teams back out to play overtime.
Hmm...
- --NEIL SMITH mortgaged a lot of the future of the New York Rangers
franchise on two kids in the 1999 Entry Draft, but Pavel Brendl and Jamie Lundmark are
two risks I'm glad he took. The Rangers will miss the defensive attention of Niklas
Sundstrom, the feisty goaltending of Dan Cloutier, and the attitude of Marc Savard. But
Smith saw a deep draft, saw the possibility of picking up two kids with great upside, better
than any young Ranger in the organization, and I include favorite-Ranger-not-named-
Adam-Graves Manny Malhotra in that list. And Smith went and got them. Paid heavily for
them, but got them.
Add in the signings of Theo Fleury, Valeri Kamensky and (to a lesser extent)
Stephane Quintal and Tim Taylor, and suddenly this team will at least be interesting next
season.
- --WHAT I THINK I like best about the moves is the No. 1 moved to Tampa
Bay in the Brendl trade. If the Rangers make the playoffs next year, that pick would
probably be no higher than 13th. Generally, once you get out of the Top 10 in any draft
(sometimes, the Top 5), it's a monstrous crapshoot. Maybe I'm reading too much into it,
but in a way, what Smith said in this deal was, "Take two of our No. 1s that panned out in
Sundstrom and Cloutier. And take this unknown No. 1. If it's a can't miss kid, I wouldn't
be around to use the pick anyway."
- --WHAT A GREAT moment when they brought Ted Williams out to the
mound at Fenway before the All-Star Game July 13, with all the stars crowded around and
the Greatest Living Ballplayer (Willie Mays is still the best ever, but if we had to call Joe
D. the GLB, we can shift that to the Splinter) playfully gabbing with them. Maybe the
coolest sight: when the P.A. announcer asked the teams to return to the dugouts, Rafael
Palmeiro, mock-annoyed, looked up to the press box, vigorously shook his head "no," and
made the washout signal with his arms...
- --I'D LIKE TO like Bruce Bochy for his All-Star managing job, I really would.
He gave Jeromy Burnitz, one of my favorite botched Mets prospects ever, the start when
Tony Gwynn was unable to go. And even though it probably precluded the Mets' getting
another player to join Piazza on the team, I was kinda glad he brought Dave Nilsson, who
is having a special year.
But my aggravation with him began to build when somehow there were three
Padres on the All-Star team. Now, Gwynn's Gwynn; he's our generation's greatest pure
hitter, and it was outstanding to see him at the game despite his injury (Gwynn, Igor
Gonzalez. Compare and contrast). But Andy Ashby in a mediocre season? Trevor
Hoffman in a down year? When both have made it before? Sad choices.
And even sadder when both Padres pitchers got in the game -- for a total of one
out apiece, Ashby in the eighth and Hoffman in the ninth. One out, get an appearance, and
out they came.
Meanwhile, veteran Paul Byrd -- we've seen Byrdie in years past, and he might
never make it back here again -- and young reliever Scott Williamson, both in their first
All-Star Games, are the only two National Leaguers not to make an appearance.
The objection isn't so much with their not getting into the game. That happens.
Managers keep a starter out in case the game goes extra innings; sometimes, like Troy
Percival for the American League, you just don't make it in (though Joe Torre could have
found a way to get him in after warming him up in the ninth). And maybe there's
something else, an injury maybe, or for Byrd a work-schedule difficulty (he threw 94
pitches Saturday), that I don't know about. But at face value, with two deserving and first-
time All-Stars shafted, and two maybe-not deserving Padres getting a batter's appearance
each, something seems awfully, well, awful.
- --I WAS HAPPY for a bunch of people in the NHL's expansion process last
month, but none more than for Herbert Vasiljevs, now of the Atlanta Thrashers. Vasiljevs
was stuck behind some people in the Florida organization, and his move via trade (the
Panthers got goalie Trevor Kidd from the Thrashers in exchange for a package that
included Vasiljevs and Gord Murphy) could give him his big break.
I met Vasiljevs in 1997 when I was covering the late Beast of New Haven and he
was playing for them. He was originally a walk-on to the Panthers' reserve list; a Latvian
native, he moved with his family to Germany, played a couple of years there, then spent a
year in Canadian juniors in Guelph under former Hartford Wolf Pack coach E.J. McGuire.
Undrafted, he tried out with the Panthers, and earned an AHL contract.
After an injury-plagued couple of seasons, in 1997-98 he finally stayed healthy and
put up great numbers, scoring what will be a Beast team-record 36 goals. He scored 28
more this past season with the Kentucky Thoroughblades and was among the league
leaders in points all season.
Best of all, in a Beast dressing room that was filled with nice guys for two years,
Herbie was definitely one of them. If good things really do happen to good people, he'll
have a job in Atlanta playing hockey in October.
Now, if I could only get a job in Atlanta covering hockey come October...