"I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for Patrick Rafter. To hear Australia's best tennis player in a generation tell it- in his patented soft-edged drawl- his happiness at this point in his life depends exclusively on his on-court results. He wins, life is good; he doesn't, well... life hasn't been that good this year. As honest as this assessment may be, I'm not buying any of it. How could I? I've been chatting with that most enviable and paradoxical of creatures: The pretty man. To launch into any sort of discussion about Patrick Rafter and not talk about that face is simply not possible. It would be like talking about Leo DiCaprio- the star of Titanic that everyone seems to think is the most handsome actor this year- and not mention that I think he looks like my seventh grade girlfriend. Not Pleasant, perhaps, but undeniable nonetheless. But in Rafter's case, it's also not entirely fair. The man, after all, is a grand slam champion and is clearly the best pure serve-and-volley player in the world. But even as he tells me repeatedly that tennis is his life, I can't help but wonder out loud, what it's like to live with that face looking back at you in the mirror. " 'good looking' is the sort of term that I don't particularly like," rafter says sheepishly. "I try to never give myself encouragement like that." His obvious reluctance to dwell on his looks reminds me of something my mother said to a friend of hers while watching my baby-faced 11 year old nephew play a little league basketball game: 'yes, he's handsome, but he's all boy." The implication was crystal clear and such is the case with this undeniably rugged man. He's pretty, but he's ALL boy. Just before I began my conversation with this particualr athlete, I was struck by how much I had changed my own mind about such interviews. There was a time that I simply did not do profiles of athletes because, frankly, what did they have to say? Invariably, you end up speaking to over-muscled children, really, who never got a proper education, who have done little else in the entirety of their existence but pursue, with singular focus, a two-dimensional, testosterone-heavy obsession and who speak (when at all) with an unlimited capacity for platitudes and cliches and who, incredibly, actually seem to believe they are saying something original or remotely interesting. No, this jock worship nonsense was not for me. I forget all of that while chatting with Patrick Rafter. He's shy. He's respectful. And he's decidedly and refreshingly NOT American in his thinking about his own fame, ego, and future. It's very difficult to imagine him, for example, hawking a product that screams :"image is everything." For all the world to see, Patrick Rafter is but a man. A man who's more than a bit embarrassed by all the commotion that seems to follow in his wake. That, more than anything, is why I want to see him win. Then, there's his tennis. At his best, rafter is a vision of by-the-book tennis. A throwback to the days of tony Roche, Stan Smith, and John Newcombe. Just prior to retiring, the greatest tennis player who ever played the sport, Martina Navratilova, said that she would like to be remembered as "someone who played the game the ay it was supposed to be played." Well, with decidedly mixed results and with substantially fewer weapons at his disposal than Navratilova, Patrick Rafter, too, plays the game the way it is supposed to be played. It may not be terribly scientific, but if rafter's game is on, he charges the net on every serve and short ball where he proceeds to aggressively force the issue. But his graceful movement on the tennis court is way more Evonne Goolagong than Pete sampras. Think a less butch Jana Novotna or a more macho Stefan Edberg and you get the idea. But there's something else. For all his unquestioned decency and sportsmanship, I still have to resist the urge to slap him hard and yell: "Snap out of it!" The reason? Because I- and everyone else- knows that he will never be a Mcenroe, a conners, or even a Becker. What Patrick Rafter is, more or less, is this generations Pat cash- athletic, gracious to his fellow man, and yes, occasionally capable of playing above his abilities at crucial times in his career. But I want more from him. I want a relentless consistency that just isn't there. I want a fiery temperment that can get him going in a hurry. I want rafter to trash a hotel room- even ONCE- instead of picking up the towel off the bathroom floor, you know? Hell, what I really , really, want is for rafter to show me how much HE really, really wants. Hard as I try, I just don't see it.

"Patrick Rafter was born three days after Christmas 1972 to Jim and Jocelyn rafter in the town of Mount Isa in Queensland, Australia. Not unlike, say, Montana, Queensland is pure tough guy terrain, a place where crocodile Dundee would feel at home. Rafter's the third youngest of nine kids (six boys), making his the largest- and arguably the closest- family tree of any player currently on the ATP Tour. Though he first picked up a tennis racket at the age of five, Rafyer was a late bloomer. In many ways, he's still developing his game. That's why it's so surprising that he remains one of very few highly ranked players who don't travel with a regular full-time coach. Though Queensland coarses through his veins, rafter- almost shockingly- makes his permanent home in the idyllic resort enclave of Bermuda. So here we are: The defending US Open champion and I sitting around talking in the player's lounge during an interminable rain delay before his tough first round match against Daniel Vacek at the Heineken Trophy. This mid-June Winbledon tune-up: a tournament that rafter would end up winning, a rarity thus far in the year- is located in s'-Hertogen bosch, an unremarkable town somewhere in the Netherlands. But we could be anywhere really. For this tennis player's life, he says, does not change that much from tournament to tournamnet or form country to country. As far as Patrick Rafter was concerned, we could have been in Beirut, Bombay, or Baltimore. Remarkably, he just seems to be hapy to have been asked to play at all. Such is the pleasantly passive nature of this pleasantly aggressive tennis player. When I first see Patrick rafter- he's maybe 100 feet from me- I'm instantly struck by how large he looms. Appearing much bigger than his 6'1", 175 pound frame would imply, I recognize the reason for his statuesque appearance immediately: He's simply standing up straight, no small feat for a tennis player (see Pete sampras' Quasimodo like posture if you don't believe me.) Rugged and shy, Rafter plops into the chair gracefully and surprises me by turning on his high beams by saying, "Hi, I'm Patrick. Where are YOU from?" His charm is undeniable. He's big on eye contact and his laugh is a throaty gurgle that encourages you to join in. But getting to the essence of who Patrick rafter the man is proves to be much more difficult than figuring out who Patrick Rafter the tennis player is. If rafter Knows, he's not telling- much. But I'm not discouraged as I set out to reveal this very private man who plays this very public game. The good news? He was game.

-WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?

PR: What do you want me to say?

-WHATEVER IS TRUE.

PR: these past few months haven't been great for me. I guess I'm on a bit of a down. Since the Lipton, things started going down from there. And davis Cup was really disappointing for us as well.

-ARE YOU HAPPY?

PR: Yeah, I am. I try to put everything in the big picture. I'm just playing a game, so I try to make sure things stay in perspective.

-IS HAPPINESS FOR YOU RIGHT NOW DETERMINED BY HOW WELL YOU'RE DOING ON THE COURT?

PR: It is to an extent, yeah, definitely. I think if you're happy in you're work, I think you're happy in your life. But if you put it in the big picture, I'm still very happy.

-TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD. WHAT'S THE BEST MEMORY YOU HAVE FROM THAT PERIOD IN YOUR LIFE?

PR: We were brought up in a desert the first seven or eight years of my life, but I always remember when we moved to a town that was very close to this pretty beach in Australia. I remember just going and running on the beach in the mornings and it was so exciting for all of us because we had never seen the ocean before. I remember walking up to school with my mom and my dad and my brothers on that pretty beach. Yeah, that's a good memory.

-AND WHAT'S THE MOST PAINFUL MEMORY FROM THAT PERIOD?

PR: I remember around 15 or 16 going through a really tough time because everyone around me grew faster than I did and I was losing a lot. that was the time I was seriously thinking of giving up on tennis.

-WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING IF TENNIS HADN'T WORKED OUT?

PR: I think I would have stayed involved in tennis somehow because that was my life even at 17 and 18.

-WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

PR: Being confined to a wheelchair. As someone who has pursued athletics his whole life, I think it would be a real tough transition for me.

-WHEN, PRECISELY, DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE HANDSOME? (long pause)

PR: What happens after a while is you start to hear what some girls are saying and you think, well, maybe...But you know, it happened late for me, not until I was around 23 or so.

-ARE YOU SHY?

PR: Very shy, yeah.

-ARE YOU SHY WITH WOMEN NOW OR DO YOU FLIRT?

PR: No, I mean, I have a girlfriend now.

-WHAT'S HER NAME?

PR: Lara

-IS SHE AUSTRALIAN?

PR: Yes, she is. She's actually in London at the moment.

-WE KNEW ABOUT YOUR EX [DUTCH MODEL], EDITH.

PR: Yeah, we broke up but we still keep in contact, and we're good friends.

-IS LARA A MODEL TOO?

PR: yeah, she is,

-ROUGH LIFE, EH?

PR: (laughing) Yeah.

-DOES SHE TRAVEL WITH YOU?

PR: A little bit.

-HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO KEEP SEX OUT OF YOUR MIND WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO FOCUS ON PLAYING WELL WEEK AFTER WEEK?

PR: It really doesn't enter my mind so much.

-IF YOU'RE PLAYING WELL YOU'RE ABLE NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT?

PR: Even when I'm playing badly, sex doesn't enter my mind. You know, I have my girlfriend there...

-BUT I ASSUME YOU GUYS DON'T SIT AROUND AT NIGHT PLAYING MONOPOLY.

PR:(laughing)No...every now and then..But you know there are a lot of times when I'm very tired as well. And it's a bit different for me than it is for her. She's sort of waiting around and she doesn't like to hang around too much. If she were here she would go into Amsterdam for the day and meet me here later.

-IS SHE TOUGH ON YOU?

PR: No, she's great. She's very supportive. She understands my tennis life and she understands that there are times when I'm going to go out with my mates.

-SO YOU GO OUT AND BLOW OFF STEAM WITH YOUR FRIENDS?

PR: yeah, but I've done that enough. But there are still times when I feel like doing that all day.

-YOU SCARED ABOUT THE US OPEN? JUST ABOUT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN THERE, NO?

PR: AnyTHing can happen at any grand Slam. That's the great thing about tennis.

-VENUS WILLIAMS COULD WIN THE MEN'S DRAW.

PR: (laughing) She probably THINKS she can.

-DO YOU FIND THAT RIGHT NOW IN YOUR CAREER YOU ARE AT A CROSSROADS? I MEAN, YOU EITHER BECOME ANOTHER GREAT AUSTRALIAN BORN MULTIPLE GRAND SLAM CHAMPION OR YOU CAN JUST FALL BACK IN THE PACK. YOU'RE IN THAT RARE POSITION TO CONTROL YOUR DESTINY.

PR: yeah, I'd like to think that I'm in that position. Obviously, I'd like to be in the situation where I could win another grand Slam. But to win two grand slams is just a very difficult thing to do. You know, to win one slam is a big achievement, but 2 would be...great

-WHO ARE YOUR HEROS? ARE THEY TENNIS STARS? no -BUT I ASSUME THAT THOSE AUSSIE TENNIS LEGENDS ARE HEROES TO YOU.

PR:yeah, i mean, but that was out of my era. I guess i related more to Australian rugby stars and certain musicians.

-BUT DO YOU HAVE ANYONE IN MIND THAT YOU ACTUALLY LOOKED UP TO WHEN YOU WERE A KID? YOU KNOW, SOMEONE THAT YOU THOUGHT 'HIS LIFE MUST BE GREAT; I WANT TO HAVE HIS KIND OF LIFE.'

PR:I suppose it would be [australian tennis star] Pat cash. I was often compared to him.

-ITS SO OBVIOUS- THE SERVE AND VOLLEY THING, THE HAIR THING, THE NAME THING AND THE GOOD-LOOKING THING.

PR: I guess.

-I HAVE MONEY ON YOU AND JONAS BJORKMAN TO WIN THE DOUBLES TITLE AT WIMBLEDON.

PR: (laughing) Oh really? Well, yeah, we have played great together. There's a great chemistry with Jonas.

-YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE BOTH IN THE SAME CYCLE IN SINGLES. how do you mean? -LAST YEAR YOU WERE BOTH PLAYING OUT OF YOUR MINDS GREAT AT THE SAME TIME. THIS YEAR IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY FOR BOTH OF YOU. WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? DON'T YOU FIND THAT FUNNY?

PR:I don't know what that's about. Maybe it's something in the moon; I don't know. But Jonas is a good man, and, you know, we enjoy each other's company and he's a great player.

-WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT?

PR: I'm someone who dreams about fighting. I literally dream about hand-to-hand combat. It's weird.

-LIKE YOU'RE FIGHTING JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME? yeah, something like that. -DO YOU THINK THAT MEANS YOU HAVE A LOT OF PENT UP HOSTILITY?

PR: I don't read too much into it because I'm not a violent person at all.

-WHAT'S UP WITH MARK PHILIPPOUSSIS?

PR:What's up with Mark?

-DO YOU KNOW?

PR:I guess he's going through a tough time is the way I see it.

-ARE YOU FED UP WITH HIM?

PR: Yeah, I am. He's got to sort himself out.

-WAS THERE ANY ONE EVENT THAT BROKE YOU GUYS UP AS A DOUBLES TEAM?

PR: i guess the Davis Cup in September is when things started slipping away a little bit.

-BUT DID MARK SIT DOWN WITH YOU AND SAY "I'M NOT HAVING THIS" OR "I'M NOT HAPPY HERE."?

PR: no, no, no, no. I sat HIM down and i said "what's going on?" and i tried to talk him down and I thought it was going alright but we never really got that close again, so I just let him do his own thing.

-DO YOU THINK HE RESENTS YOU BECAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GREAT AUSSIE HOPE AND YOU- EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE OLDER- CATAPULTED OVER HIM AND GRABBED THE WORLD'S ATTENTION FIRST?

PR: well, that did happen; it did, but i'm not quite sure if that's the reason for his behavior. I think Mark's got a lot of soul-searching to do and I don't think he's allowing himself to do it. And when he;s ready, he will do it.

-YOUR DOOR'S STILL OPEN?

PR: I give everyone a lot of chances. It's not like we've had a big falling out or anything. I mean, it's not some sort of hate relationship. I just see it as a growing up thing.

-ARE YOU FUNNY?

PR: (laughing) No. You ought to know.

-WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON ANNA KOURNIKOVA?

PR: Don't know her at all.

-HOW ABOUT VENUS WILLIAMS?

PR: We're with reebok, so I see her a bit. (laughing) she always has a big smile on her face. Women's tennis is very exciting for them now. They have so many good young players over there.

-WOULD YOU RATHER LOSE TO A FELLOW AUSSIE?

PR: yeah, I would. In a way it's tougher to lose to a countryman. But when you think about it, whom do you really want to see do better?

-ARE YOU STILL HUNGRY?

PR: I think I'm getting hungrier.

-AT THE FRENCH, DURING THE MATCH YOU WOULD EVENTUALLY LOSE TO FELLOW AUSSIE JASON STOLTENBERG, I SAW YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME KIND OF UNRAVEL. YOU WERE REALLY GETTING ON YOURSELF. DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT AFTERWARDS?

PR: yeah, definitely. I was just anxious for the win, you know. I really want to win now and I just started pressing a bit.

-DO PLAYERS "PLAY UP" WHEN THEY PLAY YOU? DO THEY PLAY BETTER THAN THEIR RANKING?

PR: yep

-SO, WHERE ARE YOU IN 10 YEARS?

PR: I'd really like to be involved in some sort of business.

-ANY TENNIS?

PR: I think I would like to give a little bit back to tennis, but tennis is definitely NOT going to be my life.

-ARE YOU BUSINESS MINDED?

PR: I think I'm a conservative.

-AS A PERSON OR POLITICALLY?

PR: as a person. I don't have any political views, yet. I really don't know.

-THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST ANSWER TO GIVE NOWADAYS

PR: No, it's actually true. I don't know who or what I'll defend in the future.

-ANY NOTIONS OF OPENING UP A CHAIN OF RESTAURANTS OR HAIR SALONS?

PR: I might get involved in opening a bar here or there. I wouldn't mind doing that at all.

-A SPORTS BAR?

PR: yeah

-dESCRIBE FOR ME A PERFECT DAY.

PR: (pause) Hmmmm....

-i'LL START. IT'S A WARM, SUNNY DAY IN EARLY JULY IN LONDON. YOU'RE SERVING TO OPEN THE FINALS AT WIMBLEDON...

PR: (laughing) OK...Actually, I was thinking of the beach. -IN BERMUDA? Surfing waves in Australia

-EVEN ON THAT BEACH, CAN YOU TURN TENNIS OFF COMPLETELY?

PR: mostly, but tennis is always there in the back of my mind. But to a certain degree, I can turn it off. I have an attitude of "you don't have that much time off, so you better well enjoy it while you can."

-DO YOU FEEL TRAPPED BY YOUR FAME?

PR: A little bit

-TO ME THIS IS WHERE THE IRONY IS SO THICK. YOU WORK SO HARD TO ACHIEVE A CERTAIN LEVEL OF SUCCESS AND WHEN YOU GET IT, YOU'RE A PRISONER OF YOUR OWN CREATION. AND THE WORST PART IS THAT YOU WILL SACRIFICE NEARLY ALL JUST TO MAINTAIN IT. IT'S LIKE A DRUG. ISN'T THIS A LOT TO HANDLE WHEN YOU'RE ALL OF 24 OR 25?

PR: yeah. When you haven't got it, you want it; when you have it, you really don't want it.

-ARE YOU MUCH OLDER THIS YEAR THAN YOU WERE LAST YEAR? MORE MATURE? CALMER? EVEN A BIT SADDER, MAYBE?

PR: I don't think so. But I do have certain impressions this year that weren't there last year. I've got to learn to sort them out and see through them.

-ARE YOU CAPABLE OF BEING COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS IN THIS WORLD IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON?

PR: I don't know.

-RIGHT NOW, ARE YOU CAPABLE OF THAT?

PR: right now? No. I think I'm as committed as I can be right now.

-ARE YOU FAITHFUL TO LARA?

PR: yeah, I am. I see a lot of her and I respect her a lot.

-SO SEEING A LOT OF HER IS KEY?

PR: Yes. At this stage of my life she knows what my priorities are and my priorities are tennis.

-WHAT ATTRACTS YOU TO CERTAIN WOMEN?

PR: Obviously, beauty is key. It is the first thing you look at.

-HOW OLD IS LARA?

PR: she's 27.

-AN OLDER WOMAN!

PR: Lara's the first older woman I've ever dated.

-IS LARA TALLER THAN YOU ARE?

PR: no

-SO YOU'RE NOT READY FOR MARIAGE NOW?

PR: I'm definitely not ready for mariage now.

-WHAT ARE YOUR PERSONAL THOUGHTS ABOUT SAFER SEX?

PR: well, it's a big reason why i pretty well stay monogamous. You know, I'm not someone who goes out screwing around. It sort of scares me though. There are times, of course when it doesn't scare me at all.

-TELL ME SOMETHING THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT YOU.

PR: I'm not as open as most people assume I am. I tend to keep my feelings inside. The funny thing is that on the court I'm aggressive, in control. But off the court it's a different story. I mean we're sitting here talking, but when you really get to know me, my feelings are not something that I share easily- even with some of my closest friends.

-SO, WHO REALLY KNOWS YOU THEN?

PR: My family. We're very, very close. I also have a very close friend in Bermuda. He's a bit older and he probably knows me as well as anybody. In fact, some of my best friends are a little older.

-IS THE KIND OF LIFE YOU'VE LEAD SOMETHING YOU WOULD WANT YOUR CHILD TO EXPERIENCE, NOT FORGETTING THE ENDLESS TRAINING, TRAVELING, AND INEVITABLE LONLINESS?

PR: yes, absolutely. Being on the road for 7 years now has been the best education I could hAve ever had.

-WHAT TURNS YOU ON?

PR: in which way?

-IN ANY WAY. IT COULD BE PHYSICAL, IT COULD BE EMOTIONAL...

PR: What makes me really like a person is humor- a relaxed humor that is attached to someone who is loyal.

-SOUNDS LIKE A COCKER SPANIEL TO ME.

PR: (laughing) Yeah, like a dog. A funny-looking dog.

-ARE YOU VAIN?

PR: (very long pause) Not really.

-YOU KNOW, IT'S 1998- ITS OK FOR MEN TO ADMIT TO SOME VANITY.

PR: yeah, I think everyone has a bit of vanity and I do try to present myself well. But in terms of the way I dress, i dress very simply: jeans, T-shirts, and sneaks. But no, I'm not particularly vain at all.

-WHAT IS YOUR EPITAPH GOING TO READ?

PR: You mean when I die? That's something that goes on the gravestone, isn't it?

-IT CAN BE. IT REMINDS ME OF A STORY MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS OLD LADY'S TOMBSTONE THAT READ "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK."

PR: (laughing) I don't know...it would be something that would let my loved ones know that I achieved everything I set out to do and that I died a happy man with no regrets to speak of. -WHEN DO YOU LIE? well, I'll use my girlfriend in this example. If a girl calls me up, let's say, and she comes up to see me and she wants something and we're having a drink or two and she sort of gets friendly and I don't want any part of it, I'll tell her that I have a girlfriend. But, you see, my girlfriend doesn't need to know that this other girl was in my room. The last thing you want is to get a dirty fax from some lady you don't even know. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to get the wrong idea, so I just don't mention it.

[missed 2 questions here about the biggest misconception, and about others being upset that he's not taking advantage of being a sex maniac ]

-WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

PR: well, I go out with my mates to a bar or restaurant- it could be any sort of situation like that.

-HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FLING WITH A TENNIS PLAYER?

PR: no. well maybe in the juniors or something.

-LET'S TALK ABOUT AMERICAN WOMEN. WHAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT THEM, IF ANYTHING?

PR: I've never had very much luck at all with American women.

-REALLY?

PR: Yeah. you know that there are attractive women all over the world.

-IS PAMELA ANDERSON ONE OF THEM?

PR: If i had to say something to her, i would tell her to dress more like the European women do. In europe, women have a great sense of style and so many places in america don't.

-WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS HEADING TOWARD NEW YORK TO DEFEND YOUR US OPEN TITLE? WILL YOU BE READY BY THEN?

PR: I think by then I would have learned to deal with the whole thing better. I think it's about trying to get on top of my preparation and not thinking too far into the future.

-CAN YOU DEAL WITH THE MANY DISTRACTIONS IN NEW YORK CITY?

PR: there are a lot of distractions at the US open. Everything has to be going your way to win a Grand slam. There's no doubt about it. But someone like pete sampras can do it because he's simply a better player than everybody else. But someone like me, I need things to be going my way like they were last year.

-IF YOU TANK AT THE US OPEN, CAN YOU GET MOTIVATED AGAIN?

PR: yeah, definitely. No doubt about it.

-SO, YOU'RE NOT DONE?

PR: no- God, no! I'll just come back better and stronger next year.

-COOL

PR: (laughing) It will be. I promise you.

Tennis Match Magazine