Rena Mero Transcript from Politically Incorrect on ABC

Here is the transcript for last nights Pollitically Incorrect. Once again The Wifebeater was mentioned on the show
Bill: Hi.
You're very kind. And I am sure you've heard about the big story. American Airlines, boy is their face red. You heard about the drug thing?
[ Silence ]
Okay.
[ Laughter ]
Well, let me tell ya, because, you know, sometimes people don't see the news in the summer. Uh, yes, they are in been big trouble, because, apparently, they were smuggling drugs. And Miami police are arresting about 50 people for smuggling drugs in through American Airlines. I tell ya, this just isn't George Bush's lucky week, is it? I --
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
No, I -- as you may know, American Airlines services South America, that's the primary carrier down there. And, apparently, over the last two years, about 50 people who are working baggage handling and food service have been smuggling drugs. They smuggled it in in the food carts, the coffee pots, garbage bags and carry-on luggage. And, I might say, over the last few years, I have never seen at least one flight attendant who didn't look like she was carrying an extra kilo in her ass, because --

[ Laughter ]
I --
[ Applause ]
I kid the flight attendants. Yes. Now they found out this because a pilot was given coffee that had some drugs in it, 'cause they were smuggling it in with the coffee. And he said, "Boy, this tastes weird."
[ Laughter ]
I think I may have been on that flight, because -- [ Laughter ]
-- I remember the pilot saying, "If you look out on the right side, you can see a cloud that looks like a big, fluffy bunny."
[ Laughter ]
That may have been --
[ Applause ]
Now, the other disappointing story today is from the FBI. Apparently, they were not completely honest about what they did down in Waco. Remember Waco six years ago, that little fire? [ Laughter ]
Okay, well, apparently, they used flammable tear gas, which they said they didn't, and now they said they did. And Janet Reno, the attorney general, is furious. She is so mad, she sounds like an angry, bitter Republican.
[ Laughter ]
No, because she said today, she said, "You know, it's not the incinerated 80 people, it's the lying about the incinerated 80 people --"
[ Laughter ]
That has her --
[ Applause ]
And, finally, we're gonna talk about this tonight, but it came out today. Warren Beatty, as you know, has been talking about running for president. Well, they did a little research, and they found -- this is not good news -- 1% -- only 1% of California Democrats would vote for Warren Beatty. And that's -- that's gotta hurt him, because, you know, he slept with over 10%.
[ Laughter ]
So, anyway --
Panel Discussion
[ Applause ]
Thank you for coming, and let us meet our panel. She is a trouble-making, syndicated columnist and our hellenic honey pie -- Arianna Huffington. Arianna?
Hellenic honey pie? How are you? He is one of the night stars of "Saturday Night Live" -- Mr. Darrell Hammond right over here!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Mr. President, how are you? Darrell: Good. Bill: He's a fine singer, songwriter and trotskyite wrecker. Okay. His new CD is "Preaching To the Converted" -- Billy Bragg.

[ Applause ]
Billy: Hi. How are you? Good to see you. Thank you very much. Bill: There you are again. Thank you for coming. Billy: My pleasure. Bill: She was cover girl for the fastest-selling issue of "Playboy" in history, and that is a lot of history. The actress who used the play the role of Sable -- Rena Mero! Rena?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey!
Rena: Hello. How are you?
Bill: Pleasure to meet you.
How you doing? Rena: Good.
Bill: Okay. As I mentioned in the monologue -- you started this about Warren Beatty running for president. You were the one who put it in your column, and now he might. And, of course, Warren Beatty's big point is the problem with American politics is that both parties are so busy begging for money that they barely have time to bang their secretaries.
[ Laughter ]
Now, just to give you an example of how far this has gone -- I'm not gonna say who this is from because he is a guest on our show. He's a good guest, and I like him. I don't agree with his politics, but this Congressman sent to our office a birthday card. It says, "Happy birthday, Dad." Okay? It's -- he's having a birthday. His wife wants to give him a surprise party, the letter says. Isn't that cute, the two little kids? Once they sign the birthday card, everybody -- on the back it says, "We'd like to count on your full support. I have enclosed a special birthday gift of $100, $75 --" people, are you not pissed off at this? Hello?
[ Laughter ]
This is a birthday card used to pimp money for a politician. This, to me, is evidence that it has gone way too far. Arianna: That's why the Warren Beatty candidacy makes sense --
Bill: Yes.
Arianna: -- Because of things like that. Because, politicians, and this particular Congressman -- we will not mention his name -- who have been saying that we should not really talk about private lives, these politicians are using their private life, their kids, their wives, whenever it suits them. We have Tipper Gore telling us that Al Gore is sexy -- if you can believe that.
[ Laughter ]
We have George W. Bush telling us, that, for 22 years, he was faithful to his wife -- playing the morality card. But, then, when it doesn't suit them, they draw the line and say, "I'm not gonna talk about drug use or whatever."
Bill: But, why should they not, because, obviously, if you heard the reaction here, people don't care? So why should they get a better government if they're not outraged by this? Bob Dole said last election, "Where's the outrage?" Folks, it's your fault.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Rena: A lot of people say that --
Bill: And then they applaud. "Yes, it's our fault. We are wrong. You are right."
Rena: A lot of people say that acting and politics go hand-in-hand. I think Warren Beatty would probably have a fair shot at running for President because of his popularity. But, is he really responsible enough to run the country?
Bill: Well, you could say that about a lot of people who have run the country.
Rena: Absolutely.
Darrell: It seems to me, that, if he did run, he would draw attention to a really important -- possibly really important problem, and that's campaign financing. You know, raising that much money to be president, what -- you know, I wonder if Abe Lincoln could manage. You know? Some of our great thinkers may not have money.
Bill: Oh, I mean it's an amazing --
Arianna: And it isn't just the raising of the money. It's then what they do because they raise that money. They basically sell public policy. Do you know, that, right now --
Bill: They do.
Arianna: -- They're actually designing special tax credits for the wrong constituents. Like, you have Jennifer Dunn in Washington State, especially a designer, a boutique tax incentive for Nordstroms. Somebody else for J.C. Penney. You know, you can get your government now to design it for you. That's how far it's got.
Bill: Yes.
Rena: But the money could undoubtedly be put to better use spending it on our homeless and underprivileged in the world today. But, I think that it's gone far and beyond what is needed in policy.
Billy: I think we need to run for president.
[ Laughter ]
There should be more women and more ex-wrestlers in American politics.
[ Laughter ]
Like, what you just said. I would -- wouldn't you vote for her?

[ Applause ]
I would vote for you.
[ Talking at once ]
Arianna: -- So let's not -- let's not have any more in that arena.
Billy: I think the problem you have in the United States of America -- we have a similar problem in Britain -- is that money rules. And we have -- what we don't have is -- we don't have political advertising, as you have, which, I think, is quite destructive here. We have -- each party gets a three-minute or five-minute slot on every channel.
Bill: Right. England is nothing like America. Money doesn't rule --you can't even compare them. First of all, your elections last for how long, six weeks?
Billy: Yeah.
Bill: Okay, ours go on for 1,000 years.
[ Laughter ]
Okay. And the reason why they need all this money is because they have to buy advertising time, because, you know, the people here who are not outraged as they should've been by a birthday card that was pimping money, maybe they would, like, enjoy a commercial that advertised George Bush just the same way you sell beans.
Rena: And most of the money is spent in a negative way.
Bill: I'm trying to piss you off, and it's impossible, isn't it?
[ Laughter ]
Billy: Probably wish they could imagine that.
Bill: I wish I could outrage people, but nobody --
Billy: That's the way politicians are packaged, like beans. Whereas --
Bill: We get what we deserve. We really do.
Billy: Yeah, you do. You do.
Arianna: But there's a new trend in Alabama -- I don't know if you heard that story --
Darrell: From there.
Arianna: You had the story --
Bill: You're from Alabama, Darrell?
Darrell: My parents and my family tree --
Arianna: I don't think you are involved in that.
Rena: I thought you were from Little Rock.
Arianna: But, did you hear --
Darrell: Huh?
Rena: I thought you were from Little Rock.
Darrell: Only on Saturday.
Arianna: Did you hear that two guys -- two guys got indict --
[ Laughter ]
Did you hear that two guys got indicted because they hired a former prostitute, they paid her $2,500, and she came forward and said that she had sex with a guy running for governor -- he had raped, sodomized her. The whole campaign changed because of that, and it was all a big lie. That's what's happening to campaigns. You can now basically hire anybody to come forward, say anything against your opponent, and, by the time you find out the truth, the election is over.
Rena: Well, I don't think that necessarily has so much to do with campaigning as it does with media and what people are so willing to believe.
Darrell: Is it realistic to say that campaign finan -- like, I think it was Clinton or Gore or maybe both of them that said that they wanted free TV time for candidates for public office. I mean, is that even realistic?
Bill: Uh, not in this system we have, because there are too many people who can depend on the folks not getting outraged and --
Darrell: I'm sorry. Don't you feel some of those guys in Congress are just like paid actors then?
Bill: They're worse than paid actors. They're -- they're whores. They're --
[ Laughter ]
Okay, we have to take a break. We'll be right back.
[ Applause ]
---
Announcer: Join us tomorrow when our guests will be -- Ray Romano, "Sex And the City's" Kristin Davis, the advice Goddess Amy Alkon and Charmaine Yoest.
[ Applause ]
Bill: All right.
We were getting into why people are not so outraged at the selling off of their own government. Um, maybe there's a connection here. 40 million watch wrestling every week.
[ Light laughter ]
And another 20 million try to watch it on radio. These --
[ Laughter ]
I don't mean to offend wrestling fans, but you are famous for that. Your "Playboy" issue sold more than any other issues. And you have a lawsuit, I know you can't talk about every aspect of it, but you basically wouldn't play a lesbian story line. Which I'm curious about, because wrestling itself is a bunch of crap, so what does it matter?
[ Laughter ]
And, I mean --
[ Applause ]
And it's very -- and it's very violent. It's a very violent, gross sport. I mean, they say, "Suck it," and they do awful sexual things. And doesn't that send a subtle message -- and, of course, wrestling fans love subtlety --
[ Laughter ]
-- That violence is okay, but being gay is not?
[ Laughter ]
Rena: Well, unfortunately, I'm not gonna be able to speak on that issue very much because my lawsuit has been settled. I'm very happy with my settlement.
Bill: Well, then you can.
Rena: And part of the agreement was I wouldn't discuss it.
Bill: Go ahead. Really? But your thing has been settled.
Rena: Uh, yes.
Bill: So you can speak.
Rena: I'm happy with the settlement.
Bill: Well, just in general.
Rena: Part of the settlement was I would not discuss --
Bill: But, just in general.
[ Laughter ]
Just in general.
Rena: This show is "Politically correct," I have to be judicially correct here.
Bill: But you your lawsuit is settled. Why not lesbianism, but okay violence? That's just a general thing. You could even say it about movies?
Billy: Why couldn't the wrestlers be gay? The men wrestle, why does it have to be a woman who has to be lesbian?
Rena: Thank you.
Billy: Why can't there be some men, gay wrestlers, what's the problem with that?
Bill: But --
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Billy: If they -- if they want -- Bill: Well, gay men are wrestlers already I think is the problem with that. It's a very gay thing.
Billy: Well, they obviously --
Bill: I know, when I was in high school, I got a note to get out of it.
[ Laughter ]
I didn't want to put my arms around sweaty men.
Rena: There was like 100 issues involved in my lawsuit. That was like the least important thing that --
Bill: But you refused to play a lesbian?
Billy: Well, no --
Rena: Yes.
Bill: That's public knowledge.
Rena: Yes.
Bill: I mean --
Billy: She refused to let a load of sweaty blokes watch two women wrestle. I mean, that's kind of like --
Bill: But, in the context of wrestling?
Billy: There is no context. Wrestling doesn't have a context.
[ Laughter ]
Come on. It's like -- it's like a cartoon. It has no context. It's like a Kung-fu movie.
Bill: Well, then why not be a lesbian?
Billy: Huh?
Because why -- well, why shouldn't they be -- if they would like to come out and have a gay character first --
Rena: I tell you what, if we got credit for playing an actress -- if we got credit for playing a role -- if it said, "Reno Mero played the role of," I would have no problem. You have to draw the line somewhere on some of the things that you do.
Bill: But you don't draw it on the violence. You don't draw it on the "Suck it." You don't draw it on the thousand things they do which are so untoward. I'm just saying it seems to stick out. Arianna: But, you know, this is not just -- [ Laughter ] You know, since she can't talk, we'll talk for her. Rena: Thank you. 'Cause I would love to say a lot about it, I just -- Arianna: You'll tell us later, okay? Rena: Thank you. [ Laughter ] Arianna: This isn't just Rena. You find around the wrestling world that people draw the line at some bizarre things. Like -- Bill: How would you know what goes on around the wrestling ring? [ Laughter ] Arianna: Because I did my research, okay? And remember the story -- Bill: Rich, European aristocrats, they're the experts on wrestling. [ Laughter ] Arianna: Let me tell you -- [ Applause ] Bill: At least you're willing to talk. Arianna: You remember all the controversy about the Wifebeater in Wisconsin? Bill: Right. A wrestler called -- Arianna: There was a wrestler called Wifebeater, and these advocates for battered homes started protesting because -- not because of what he was doing, not because he might smash people over the head with chairs or anything like that -- Bill: Yeah. Arianna: -- But, because, while he was doing all these things, he called himself Wifebeater. And it's some kind of magical thinking. It's kind of ridiculous that what you are called is more important than what you do. It's that stupid, absurd line that people choose to draw a different thing. Darrell: But, Arianna, do you really think that people think it's real? I mean -- Billy: Well, this is the whole point. This is a good question, because, obviously, if they're asking her to act as a lesbian, therefore it's scripted. Therefore, it can't be real. Only if she was actually in her real life a lesbian could she have that role. So, for those people at home who do think it's real -- Darrell: Yeah. Billy: For her to act a lesbian when she's not a lesbian would be wrong. So, therefore, it makes warped sense. Rena: Sometimes you have the choice -- that is correct. Bill: Right. Rena: Sometimes you have to choice to veto what comes to you. Bill: Wait a second. [ Laughter ] Rena: And I decided not to do that. Bill: Are you people telling me it's not real? [ Laughter ] Darrell: You know what? I think we think it's real to the extent, that, when we play Monopoly, we really think we're in jail. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Bill: All right. We have to take a break. We will come back. [ Applause ] --- Bill: Okay. Um, you eluded to the wrestler/governor. And that state is Minnesota where he presides. A liberal state. [ Light applause ] People from there? Okay. Listen to this. They have a program called "The At-Home Instant Care Program," which, I think, not so good, because what they do is they pay low-income families $250 a month for day care, because people are worried that there's a whole generation that are being raised by folks other than their parents. But, the folks can pocket that money if one parent stays home full-time. And I just think it's encouraging people who can't have kids to do it. And I don't think they should. I think there should be incentives to not procreate. [ Applause ] Arianna: If you really think that getting less than $10 a day is an incentive to procreate, I think you've got it all wrong. Because, first of all, do you know how many people have applied for this program? 57. Fewer people than there are in this room. I mean, this is a real -- Bill: That cannot be right. Arianna: Absolutely. In "The L.A. Times." You can look at it yourself. This is one of the -- Bill: That can only be 'cause they don't know about it. Any time they give away -- any time they give away free money, believe me, people will -- you know, "Have sex for free money?" That's a good deal. I might do that. Rena: I'm not saying that women should stay home and be baby factories, but if a couple wants to have a child, and they're financially not able to do so because of the mother having to go away and be at work and not being able to stay home and take care of her child as she would wish to do, I think it's a wonderful idea. I'm not saying that they should -- Bill: But the era of big government is over. Didn't you hear? There was a memo. Billy: Yeah, but that's the trouble, because you're only looking at it from the side of free money. That's all you see when you read that, "Free money." These people -- Bill: Yeah, 'cause it's not free. It comes from taxpayers like me. Billy: That's right. That's right. You see, in my country, we have a re-distributive tax system, where we actually pay people so they don't have to pay for health care and they don't have to pay for their schooling. And if they're gonna be brought up by their parents, which, we'd like that -- I mean, you know, this is -- Bill: And that's why England is where it is. Billy: No, well I was just, respectfully -- Bill: And you're so hurt by that joke. You all like England aristocracy. Billy: I mean, you're all in favor of mom and apple pie. Don't you think that the state should supply mom? Don't you think the state -- ? Bill: No. Rena: No, you have to agree with it, England has a much lower crime rate than the United States. Bill: 'Cause they don't have guns. Rena: Exactly. Bill: That's not -- has nothing to do with babies. [ Applause ] Rena: But, if we had more parents staying home and taking care of their children and being more responsible for the actions of their children -- Arianna: But, you know, guys, we are talking about less than $3,000 a year. And it's ridiculous. Bill: For each family. Arianna: Yeah, but it's ridiculous -- Billy: That's a tiny amount of money. Arianna: It's ridiculous to think that this is going to make a difference. It's a meaningless initiative of the kind that we've had hundreds of in this administration. Darrell: But what if they were paying her the exact amount of money -- let's say she had a job -- ? Billy: She or he. Darrell: Huh? Billy: It shouldn't just be the mother. It should be the mother or father. Darrell: Fine. Fine. But, what if they're paying 'em $50,000 a year? What if they were paying 'em the amount of money they were making at work, and they left the workplace to raise the child? Rena: I think that if you're in that low of income bracket, $250 a month is a lot of money to some people. Bill: Yeah, it is. Not to you. But it is, to some people, a lot of money. It really is. Arianna: Thank you. Rena: And that would be the option to stay home and raise your own child and give them the foundation and the morals and the -- Bill: What happened to the old days, when, you know, people didn't start a family until they could? Darrell: You mean responsibility? [ Applause ] Bill: Yeah. What happened to that idea -- [ Applause ] -- That, you know, "I'd like to start a family, but let's get on our feet first"? Rena: Unfortunately most people never make it to that position in their lives. Bill: Most people used to, because they had to. They couldn't rely on Uncle Sam to -- Arianna: But, what do you do -- Rena: But the cost of living has sky-rocketed to such a great degree that both parents have to work. Arianna: But, in the end, the bottom line is the children. There are a lot of responsible people who have them when they can't afford them, who have them without a father. What do you do with the children? Do you let them be abused or go hungry? Or do you help? But you can't just help with $3,000 a year. Let's be realistic. That's the cost of diapers, diaper rash cream and a little bit of strained carrots or something. Darrell: Elmo. Billy: And what happens when they get ill? Bill: What happens? Billy: Yeah, where do you get the money to pay for that? You know, see -- Bill: You're talking after they're born. Billy: Yeah. Bill: I'm saying, maybe if this wasn't held out as a carrot, they wouldn't do it to begin with. Rena: Well, if the government didn't take -- Billy: But, do you think poor people just have kids to get this $3,000 a year? Rena: If the government didn't take so much of our money in the first place, they would not have to have people in such bad situations. Bill: But why do you think they take the money in the first place? Because of programs like this. Rena: No. Bill: You don't see a connection? Rena: I do see a connection, but, if they did not take so much of our money in the first place, more people would be financially responsible for their own families. [ Applause ] Bill: We have to take a commercial. We'll be right back. --- [ Applause ] Bill: Okay. We just have a second. Darrell, tell 'em that story you told me in the break about President Clinton sending you a note when your -- Darrell: Oh, when my daughter was -- Bill: Your daughter was born -- Darrell: Right. And like maybe -- Bill: Hurry. Darrell: Thursday. On Monday, a letter arrived from President Clinton saying -- "Dear Mia Faith, welcome to the world." Bill: Tomorrow we'll have Ray Romano, Kristin Davis, Amy Alkon and Charmaine Yoest. [ Applause ] (courtesy of Sister Midnight of PWD) The Unwrapped Undertaker