KNIGHTS FALL SHORT

"I think it's our transactions," the 102-year-old former all-star second baseman said. "I'm proud that we released a future Hall-of-Famer like Barry Larkin without a second thought, just because he hurt himself. I'm proud that we examined the waiver wire closely enough that we could pick up a guy like Moises Alou and thus waste a season from Mark Quinn in his prime."

The "Bronx Bumbler" then got a little misty and added, "And of course, I'm proud, so proud we managed to sign and release Ugueth Urbina 53 times this summer."

Urbina, the closer-former closer-Yankee-setup man-closer-former closer-closer, was a crucial component of the Knights' run to the East Division championship of Jill Arrington's Bullpen. Van Nest had never won anything except a couple of bucks in other leagues. This, despite no ultimate league championship, was different, special.

"You could see it in the eyes of the fans," said Joe DeMaturo, 49, a season-ticket holder from Matthews Avenue. "We locals would walk down the block to Con Ed Park, and the damn visitors would park across our driveways, but then we'd all come together in the stands and just be amazed. This team wanted the division crown."

It got just that, securing the East Division title on the second-to-last week of the regular season with John Smoltz closing out a 3-2 home victory over the Chewed Pencaps Sept. 9, sending the crowd of 42,301 -- a Con Ed Park record, before playoff crowds in all three home games topped it -- into a joyous celebration up and down Morris Park Avenue.

The season ended (for all intents and purposes) Sept. 22 with a 5-2 loss to the Gotcha Suckers in Game 6 of their semifinal series. The loss ended the team's hopes for a parade down White Plains Road and a victory dinner at the Pine Tavern. The loss also came at a time, though, when most of the Bronx wasn't focused on baseball, but on downtown Manhattan.

"The Van Nest Knights stand firmly behind the President and our military," Cuccinello said, "and we wish to thank the FDNY, the NYPD, the PAPD and EMT workers and all those who helped our hometown, in whatever way they could."

Cuccinello planned a diatribe addressed to Osama Bin Laden, but after being told he shouldn't use the word "cocksucker" in a press release, he withheld comment.

Cuccinello was pleased to report that all proceeds from the playoffs will be given to the Twin Towers Fund, organized by the City of New York to support the families of those afflicted by the horrible events of Sept. 11, 2001.

"However, the other (deleted) (guys) messed that all up by (deleted) beating us and not awarding us any (deleted) prize money," Cuccinello said. "So we've made other arrangements for donations from our staff."

A fine idea. Please give generously.

The 2001 Van Nest Knights