Noverry Athletic goalkeeper Eamonn Costello has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act on grounds of being completely insane.
The player, known as "Bananas", by his team-mates has been showing the warning signs of his descent into total insanity for some time now and the latest developments have come as no shock to those who knew him.
It is believed that a combination of vast quantities of Red Bull and Vodka on Friday night, whilst celebrating midfield maestro Paul Veitch's forthcoming Wedding, coupled with Costello's already warped mind, finally pushed him well-and-truly over the edge.
The player is set to be taken (in a strait-jacket) to his homeland of Ireland for treatment. However, doctors are sceptical of their chances of success - one revealed "this man Costello is completely berserk, he is beyond hope".
Noverry Athletic officials played down rumours that a wave of insanity is sweeping the club and that players, such as injured star John Miszalowski, are also beginning to show signs of being one can short of a six-pack. Chairman Dr Stuart D Mitchell, speaking from his holiday retreat in Italy, said "Noverry Athletic FC has some of the finest minds in the Scoccerworld League - there is no question that each and every one of us has our wits about us" before he stoated off in a pair of shorts, exposing his left bollock, singing football songs and getting into a taxi with a complete stranger.
On the field, Colin "Bollox" Sneddon is set to take over from the demented Costello when he departs for his electric shock treatment in 2 weeks time. Having already deputised for Costello successfully for a spell last season, Sneddon is in no doubt of the mammoth task in front of him.
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