The allegations come as the players and supporters enjoyed the spectacle of midfield star Paul Veitch's Wedding to Tracey on Saturday
Braveheart defender, Dr S.D. Mitchell started the day respectably enough, turning up for the occasion sporting his best kilt and happily posing for photographs and chatting with other guests.
However, an afternoon of downing cocktails soon began to take its toll on the gargantuan defender, as he continued his bevvying at the evening reception
Stoating about all over the place, gibbering incoherently, taking the stage to sing drunken songs, Dr S.D.'s behaviour could only be described as that of a drunken mess. But the real drama was to unfold as the ginger stopper made his way home by taxi.
Onlookers on Cauldwell Hall Road, talk of seeing the figure of Dr S.D. Mitchell stumbling out of a taxi, collapsing in a heap and vomiting uncontrollably, his kilt hitched up round his neck exposing his hairy arse for all to see. Several people were reportedly treated at Ipswich Hospital for shock after this incident.
The story did not end there as the Mad Doctor somehow managed to make his way home, he realised he had forgotten to put his front door keys in his sporran. Not to be put off, he simply kicked his front door in and collapsed in a drunken heap on the floor, puke still seeping out of his gob. Eye-witness Mark E Dennis(23) said "it can only be described as a scene of total carnage - I was in fear for my life but fortunately he passed out in a drunken coma"
However, Noverry's players were quick to rally round in defense of their maniac chairman. As they enjoyed their fry-ups at the Neptune Cafe, fan's favourite N Mitchell said "this is exactly the kind of behaviour we want to see from our Chairman and teammate. The boy done good." Injured player-manager J Miszalowski added "Dr SD's behaviour was exactly that of the stereotypical Scotsman, he done his club and country proud - we feel he should be in line for some kind of honour to recognise his efforts". Team Fuck-up P Lee said "Is there a crapper in here? Ah need tae take a dump."
The Club will have to wait to see if the Suffolk Soccerworld League will be holding its own enquiry into the behaviour of Dr S.D. Mitchell.
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