Michael Cole is the replacement for Jim Ross at tonight's play by play. I always liked Cole, he does the UK weekend shows so I get to see him a lot. He has a nice . Commentators are too flashy today to an extent, it makes it a lot more realistic and keeps emphasis on the ring when you have a more "proper" straight man, like Vince McMahon used to be in the 80's and earlier 90's.
<> D-Lo Brown and Mark Henry defeated Val Venis and The Godfather
Val Venis came out first to a huge pop, as did the Godfather delivering the usual stick. "Val, do you know the holiday season is upon us? And I know that the big Valbowski will be hanging some mistletoe; so check it out. I'm gonna do something for the hoes. I'm gonna give you ladies the night off, and a Christmas present if you will, I'm gonna give you Val for the whole night!" Venis responded "Ladies, I got the log if you got the fireplace!"
D-Lo Brown and Mark Henry came out next; Jackie and Terri Runnels came out with Brown, one on each arm. Terri looked great as usual, just really in character and a part of the show.
The match was pretty good; fast, unspectacular wrestling by today's standards but very enjoyable. All stars enjoyed equal ring time, and while the action was good, the hoes got most of the attention from the crowd. D-Lo got a lot of heat as usual.
Cole really did make a big difference to the show. It was really very enjoyable to not have Tony S. yelling at Bobby Heenan, and even good ol' JR is very loud and imposing when put in comparison.The timid Cole was really a very nice change, though you knew as the evening progressed that J.R. would have sold a lot of the storylines a lot better.
Henry looked good too. His persona and ring ability (persona in particular, though that's all you need in 1998) has really improved, he's done a great job. It was nice to see the old "two on one" bigman deal;his splash in the corner got a big pop from the crowd, as did the double suplex on him.
Henry got the pin after a somewhat awkward splash off the ropes when Jackie came in and gave Venis a low blow. Not particularly original; it'll be interesting to see where the Runnels - Jackie angle will go.
<> The Headbangers def. Kurrgan & Golga (Pinfall)
No ICP, as can be expected, but the Oddities still came out to their music. Kurrgan just looks so stiff, when he delivered a clothesline he looked as if he'd collapsed with a stroke, and the Headbangers haven't looked very good at all since turning heel.
The match was really nothing special. The Headbangers won via pinfall after a double team, one was down and ready to be vertical splashed by Golga, but his partner shot off the top ropes with some sort of plancha while the former Earthquake was in mid-run to get the three. Move Golga back to his old persona again in singles;he's good, and would get more heat solo than everyone involved in this match combined.
<> Steve Blackman defeated Owen Hart by Countout
Owen got a huge pop, but the match was mediocre. He put in a lot of work, but Blackman, now celebrating his one year anniversary in the WWF, is unspectacular and best suited to weekend programming.
The main thrust of the crowd's interest in the bout involved chants of "U.S. sucks" and unconditional support of Hart. After five minutes the action started getting really hot and heavy,and the workrate (horrible word as it is) was generally excellent. As we've seen in the past, the main problem was Blackman's lack of offense; every time he got in control it went to a rest hold after what seems to be invariable a move off the ropes.
Hart hit a quick series of moves and went for a top rope dropkick, but Blackman caught him and went for the Sharpshooter. Hart eventually got to the ropes (to a big pop after a lot of heat) and the match went to the outside. They traded chops, as there was an obvious countout in the works. I don't actually remember he last time a heel went for the walk-out and wasn't brought back to the ring by the face; not since Ted DiBiase and IRS went to hold on to the tag titles. The ending was just so stupid it wasn't even funny. Owen just walked out on the match. Is Owen a quitter or what? If anyone in the WWF is supposed to be a fighter, it's Hart. He's one of the "young hungry lions". He just... left.... it was just made all the worse that they were in Canada, but really, this kind of ending isn't something you'd expect to see on RAW, notamind a pay per view.
<> The Brood defeated The Job Squad (Snow, Holly, Scorpio)
Al Snow and made it to the ring. My sister was over on a visit while the ppv was on and commented "there's just so many weirdo's these days... half the guys' gimmick is just being a sick freak"; I thought it was an interesting analysis to an extent.
There was a distinct lack of heat in this match. The JOB squad, for all it's promise, is falling short as an angle. There's just nothing really happening, and there was no lead in to this match. The opposing team, "The Brood", is even worse;it just makes no sense. Everyone suspended reality in believing that Edge was good and Gangrel was evil,even that Christian was his evil brother, even that they had a mystical past, despite the fact that the WWF storyline department either didn't care about anything other than Austin and the McMahon angle or couldn't come up with any kind of explanation for their arrival in the WWF; but why Edge would then turn around and join them out of absolutely nowhere, especially when he was having great matches with Gangrel... it seemingly pissed all the fans off, who now just can't be bothered trying to devise their own storylines for this, and so they no longer get much heat at all.
Technically the match was sound, just unrehearsed, apart for the ending, which was badly choreographed. Christian was laid out in the ring and Scorpio hit the top for an inverted 360 degree legdrop; but Edge was standing on the outside and looked to be ready to pull his "brother" out of harm's way; but he didn't. He just stood there. Scorpio hit the move, and Edge then came in... but too late to break up the pin believably. The ref was quick to try and convince everyone he succeeded in breaking it up by waving two fingers in the air, but it was paper thin. Edge hit a mega plancha over the top rope using Gangrel as a springboard, hitting both Al Snow and Bob Holly. Scorpio just stood in the ring until Christian came from behind and hit his finisher for the 1-2-3.
<> Goldust def. Jeff Jarrett (Reverse Decision)
- Loser has to Strip Tease; either Goldust or Debra for Jarrett
The word "striptease" got a huge pop when used in the introduction. The crowd was solidly behind Goldust.... for obvious reasons, but the bout itself was again void of much crowd interest. Jarrett was solid as usual, but he's still not getting any heat. He's pretty entertaining in a Norman Smiley kind of way...
Official : "(Paraphrased)It was a two!"
Jarrett : "To hell it was!"
It was all in the delivery....
"Don't Piss me off" is such an 80's bad-boy thing to say it only make Jarrett seem older than he is. The ref saw Debra on the outside planning to hit Goldust with the Guitar; this sidetracked him when Goldust went for his "curtain call". the fans were going absolutely ballistic,begging the ref to turn around and count the three. From that point they ran a series of well-planned near falls on JJ which left the crowd in a frenzy.
Goldust set up Jarrett for the "Shattered Dreams" kick. Debra came in with the guitar and brained Runnels with it. Jarrett recovered and ultimately got the pin.
Shawn Michaels came down the ring and sent Jarrett back to the dressing room, who was happy to oblige. He then let us all in on a clause in the WWF rule book.
"It reads that if you bring in a foreign object to the ring, such as a guitar..... (MEGA POP) that results in a disqualification.... (Deafening Pop) Therefore, the winner of this match would be Goldust (Indescribable Pop). Now HBK's taken a lot of shots to the head,but in the contract, I read a clause that read that if Goldust won,which he has..... you'd have to take off your clothes... (...)"
Crowd: "Take it off! Take it off"
I can smell a positive reaction for this PPV from the fans...
HBK: "I love my job!"
After initially acting angry, it only took Debra a few seconds to warm up to the idea of stripping right down in front of a world wide audience. That's a pretty short time to change your mind. Shawn stuck a few folds of cash between her breasts (which are.... large), and gave some entertaining physical reactions to her moves. She was moving towards removing her bikini (and got damn close, too) before Jarrett and the Blue Blazer ran in to stop the proceedings.The crowd could have revolted right there.
<> New Age Outlaws def. Ken Shamrock & Big Bossman (w/Michaels)
- They Retain the tag straps
Michaels did a great job on the outside of the ring during the match, which kept the crowd in it a lot of the time. Most of the encounter had predictable offense, from four of the most predictable men in the game.
The pace picked up near the end of the bout. Gunn hit a big powerbomb but Bossman came in and just destroyed the outlaws with the nightstick as the ref was distracted by Michaels. Gunn countered a Shamrock Vertical suplex and got one of his own, but his leg was pulled by Michaels and Shamrock dropped right down on him.Gunn rolled through and took the pinfall.
The Outlaws continue to be extremely popular though their charisma and hard work, even if their offense is limited.
<> World Title Bout - The Rock (c) vs. Mankind
Mick Foley wins by submission - but no new champion
"Out of consideration for Mankind who only has one ear, chant that a little louder"... "ASSHOLE! ASS-HOLE!"
The storyline running throughout the evening was that Foley had a contract which said that if Rock couldn't wrestle, he'd be declared champion. All he wanted, to agree not to wrestle, was for McMahon to admit that he didn't give up when he lost the main event for the championship at Survivor Series. There was a lot of mic work before the beginning of the encounter.
"The Rock heard you say it, and that's good enough for me!" shouted McMahon; The Rock attacked from behind and the match was off.
They went almost immediately to the outside, with Mankind taking the advantage and nailing Rock with the steel steps. They brawled around the ring for a few minutes, with McMahon warning the ref that he better dq Mankind for doing anything illegal, "anything at all".
Mankind threw Rock to the outside and went to the second turnbuckle; but he was distracted by a stooge and the champ yanked him off, as he did a somersault and landed on the concrete (similar to the bump he did against Kane at Survivor Series last year). The Rock got on a headset and gave a good minute's worth as Mankind was recovering, ramming his head into the broadcast table in mid-sente nce.
"For the million's and million's of the Rock's fans watching at home".... he grabbed Foley by the head, but Foley reversed it and knocked him back into the barricade, subsequently jumping onto the table to pound on him some more. Rock kicked Foley in the gut as he went for a chair shot and ddt'd him on it before throwing him back in to the ring for a two count.
A few minutes of solid wrestling later, McMahon demanded that the referee disqualify Mankind for a low blow. The ref never had a chance to consider the situation; Foley nailed him with a pile- driver, then took out the time keeper for good measure as "The Boss" went to ring the bell. The Rock hit his opponent on the outside with a chair and followed up with a Rock Bottom in the ring. There was no ref to count, so he pulled Foley up to his feet and held him from behind as Shane McMahon went to hit him with the belt; he hit the corporate champion by mistake, as Foley ducked and then covered the champ for and went for the pin. A reserve ref ran in and got two, as the excitement built. Rock went for a DDT and got a two,as did Foley with his own double-arm. The crowd was heavily into it. It was time; To call out Socko.
He locked in the Mandible Sock right in the middle of the ring, as McMahon looked on in sheer disgust. Rock came close to the ropes before hitting the ground. Mankind won the match, as the ref called for the bell and Mick Foley was the new world champion.
"All right, Mankind wins the match... however, the only way to become a WWF champion is by pinfall or submission, so because the Rock did not pass out or say "I quit", still the world champion, "The Rock!"
"That's a damn shame" - Michael Cole
The ending plain sucked. It simple made less sense than sense. Mankind won the world title, and McMahon basically just said "you're not the champ". This whole angle is starting to get to me. They've crossed every single line with it, and if McMahon can just call any match any way he wants, then he shouldn't ever have to worry about any match; just reverse the decision after they're done.
Shane nailed Foley in the back with the steel chair, but it was brushed off by the 300lb madman. He hit him in the head next, but it failed to register, as he was then taken down himself. All the stooges ran in and were put down one by one. Finally Ken and the Bossman hit the ring to subdue him.
<> Steve Austin def. The Undertaker
- Gets his Royal Rumble shot
Austin launched himself at his 6'10 opponent from the getgo, as they brawled down the isle. He picked up a steel guard rail, but was knocked over as the hunk of steel crushed him on the ground.They battled all around the set and back up to ringside again. Austin ran off the opposite ropes, ducked a clothesline and hit a Thez press. They quickly took it to the outside again, as the crowd started chanting "Austin".
"Stone Cold" lived up to his name by striking Taker's legs off the steel post and dragging him to the outside, before leaping from the side board with a double axe. After taking the advantage, Undertaker destroyed the Spanish announce table before Austin went for a piledriver which was, predictably, reversed. I'd have to bet that there isn't an insurance company in town that will cover that broadcast booth.
They fought back to the open grave, as the Undertaker attempted to knock him in. His blow was blocked, and Austin sent his larger opponent sailing down the hill of dirt and followed up with a steel guard rail in his face for good measure.They fought back up to the site again, which saw the Undertaker the first to go into the hole. He grabbed a reef (I guess it was poison ivy...) and nailed Austin with it to bring him in with him. Taker went for the shovel, but absorbed a right hand before he could use it. He attempted to climb out but was dragged back in by the crowd favorite Austin, who again heard his name chanted around the arena.
Out of the grave once more, they brawled around the set a bit more before heading back to the ring.Taker grabbed a steel chair and leveled the former world champion with it flush in the forehead and shot him back into the ring. Austin lept from the apron onto Taker, but was caught and rammed into the ring post.
After making it back to the ring, they hit a good 3/4 moves in succession which ended with The "Rattlesnake" tasting the mat by way of a choke slam. The Undertaker then dragged him back to the grave, throwing him in, and began to cover him with dirt. Austin hit the 'Taker with a gas can in the head twice, but wasn't ready to hit him when approached first ; so the Taker turned around and went to kick some dirt before approaching Austin a second time, when he was ready. It looked bad. Austin nailed him twice with the can and Stunnered him into the grave, before dis- appearing into the backstage area. Taker eventually climbed out, and slid down the bank.
An explosion rocked the grave; Kane appeared from it, and the Undertaker charged at his younger brother with a shovel. Kane launched himself off the top of the mount of dirt as they strugg- led to ground level and back up to the gravesite again.Taker took the advantage in the brawl with a low blow and went for the tombstone. But before he could deliver it, he was sidetracked; by Steve Austin in a digger.
Austin leapt out as the referee made his way up to the dirt pile.Unfortunately the operator didn't seem too adept at using the giant metal beast; after two minutes of waiting,Austin had to take up his shovel again and start doing the job himself, only looking out to make sure he wasn't nailed in the head himself by the scoop.
Kane had meanwhile turned the tables and tombstoned Taker, pushing him into the grave to be covered with dirt, as Austin was declared the winner. The ending was hokey beyond belief. It was far too drawn out to make much sense, EVEN as a gimmick match.
Overall, it was pretty much a thumbs in the middle, bordering on up event. I found it entertaining, if not groundbreaking, with many questions still left unanswered and few disputes resolved.
I've taken a lot of heat recently for giving WCW events a better review than their WWF counterparts, but right now that's just how the cookie crumbles. It wasn't a horrible offering, but without Foley, Michaels, the main event and Debra doing the strip it was nothing much at all. The double main event was solid, both thumbs up matches, Austin now goes on to the Royal Rumble.
