Froggy's World - 3am Thinking - 'Til Death Do Us Part

3am Thinking

'Til Death Do Us Part
(Page 1)

You know you're married when you're lying in bed with somebody and you suddenly think, "Uh oh, I've got to go home. My wife's waiting on me."

Never happened to me, of course.

I walked into my marriage with my eyes open and have never regretted it. Never fooled around and never wanted to. But once or twice, I've had those moments where I suddenly realised I was married - as if I could forget - and wondered how I'd gotten there. The first time that happened, I made an important discovery that you can only make after you're married. The person you were dating who said "I wouldn't change anything about you" was lying.

It's not just a female trait. But it's mostly a female trait.

I've heard women in the shopping centre checkout queue talk about what their men were like before they met them. It's almost as if they'd captured and tamed wild animals.

"First time I saw Tom, he was naked on the side of the road, eating roots and butterflies with his bare hands. I took him home, taught him how to wear a shirt and eat with a spoon, and later we got him a job. Still eats roots. If you don't watch him like a hawk, he'll pull his clothes off and go out in the backyard and start digging around the trees."

Among women, the things they've gotten their husbands to do are a badge of honour. "Since he met me, Wayne takes a shower every Saturday, whether he needs it or not." This is usually the prelude to the conversation about the stuff their husbands still won't do. "Then I said, 'How about if we get naked in the satellite dish?' But I don't think he heard me over the football scores."

Continued next page...

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