Women also try to get you to cut your hair a different way, and to care for it with their girly conditioners. Why they think it's a waste of perfectly good automotive products to use transmission fluid to keep a pompadour set is beyond me. Besides, it gives your hair an Elvis-like sheen.

Guys don't want to change a lot about women. Blokes just like consistency. They want more food, less nagging, and more sex. As regularly as possible. Otherwise, men are pretty flexible. If a woman suddenly stopped her share of the housekeeping duties and the dishes piled up in the sink, a guy would think, "Oh, we've chosen a new lifestyle. Okay, I can do this. I've done this before when I lived with Boomer."

One thing we don't want is a lot of questions. For instance, "What are you thinking?" Ask a woman what she's thinking and it's either about your shortcomings or about food. You've got to feed them regularly to keep them out of a bad mood because that's when they start thinking about what's wrong with you. (Everything in a woman's universe is connected. Buddha, mate.)