I didn't know it, but the love of my life was in the audience. We didn't know each other. I don't remember this, but she later told me she came up to me and said, "I really liked your story. It was funny." When she got to know me better, she also told me she thought I was a snob because all I did that night was say to her, "Oh, thanks," and turn away. The truth is that I was a nervous wreck. If I'd known better I would have paid more attention at the time.

Anyone who reads women's magazines like I do (A man's got to take something up in the tree to pass the time.) will know that they're full of articles insisting that what women want first and foremost in a man is a sense of humour. This can't be true. You never see women throwing their underwear on-stage at a comedy club. Except in those rare circumstances, like when a guy has a top-ten-rated TV show or is the last man on the planet.