3am Thinking

Warm Froggy Kisses
(Page 3)

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Kassya and I spent the rest of the evening sitting and talking. Finally it was time for everyone to go home. Kassya and I had already planned to go out the next day, but as soon as I said goodbye, I did something that I'd never done before without at least a date under my belt. I kissed her goodnight. This was not a little peck. I kissed her very well, which, in my book, involves trimming and shampooing my beard, exercising my lips for ten to twenty seconds to warm up, and, if I'm in a really sexy mood, applying a little lip gloss and apricot slicker.

Kassya later told me she had never kissed a guy so soon before either. I said that was nice, and that I'd never kissed a guy at all, even if I'd known him for years, and I hoped it wouldn't jeopardise our getting to know each other better.

Now that I think about it, our first kiss was like that moment in Annie Hall when Woody Allen pashes Diane Keaton to "get it out of the way" before they get all tense about it at the end of their date. I'm no short, neurotic, brilliantly funny, New York comedian who ponders the ineffability of love and death and questions the nature of existence, but otherwise I like to think that I'm somewhat like Mr Allen.

As I was saying, I'm surprised that Kassya and I kissed. Watching a couple make out in public is not a pretty sight. I always think, "Oh my. Geez. I'm trying to keep a potato salad down here. Would you guys knock it off?" We both decided we didn't want to get involved too soon. "Don't want to rush into anything," we both said.

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