Where else can you find a woman who can skull a beer, chuck the bottle out the window, and hit a road sign - without having to sit up?

Where else, when a woman gets mad, is the full impact of her fiery temper expressed as "I am sooo mad at you"? True, it doesn't have the same impact as a housewife from America screaming, "Get yer ass in the car!" but it means far more. The image of Aussie women may be all fluttery and delicate, but it's just that Aussie chicks get pissed with style. Instead of telling you to get into the car, she'll wait until your back is turned and drive the car into you. The really tough ones do it when you're looking.

This is the only advice that my father ever gave me about women.

It was a Father Knows Best moment, I swear.

Otherwise, Dad didn't tell me much about women or, on a more basic level, sex. We never had the conversation parents should have with their children even if the children know more than their parents. Of course, I would never know as much as Dad. His mother once swore to me that when he was six-years-old, she'd caught him doing "something" with a local girl in Holland. Can you imagine that? When I was playing with Tonka trucks, my father was playing with... No. It's not a picture I want to think about. No wonder he never told me about sex. He probably just assumed everybody did it at six.