What are an Aussie's famous last words? Simple. "Oi, watch this!"

Whatever the foolhardy act, friends always oblige. In fact, they probably put the poor bloke up to no good in the first place, just for a laugh. Not that he minds. Men know that their friends are going to get them in trouble. They expect it. That's why they're called friends. Have you ever heard a guy describe friendship? There's always trouble involved.

"Old George, geez, he's a great friend. He'll come get you out of jail at three o'clock in the morning."

That doesn't sound like friendship to me. If George was a great friend, his arse would also be in jail, sitting on a bunk, smoking a cigarette going, "She didn't look like a cop, did she?"

I met Larry Bowen in the fifth grade, on the first day of school. We instantly became best friends. He can still verify what I was wearing that day: black Hang Ten surf shorts and an orange shirt with a zipper. I went all out. I figured it would be hard to forget a kid so stylishly dressed. Because of my fashion sense, Christine White and I went together for three months. We never touched or, I think, spoke. But that had nothing to do with Christine and everything to do with where my real affections lay. I was really "going with" Bowen and the lads. We were inseperable.