I really need to update more often cuz this is a pain in my ass having to update a whole month and a half worth of crap...

October 22nd - Took Jen to the doctor. There was a little girl there with her mom...she was so cute & said some funny stuff. Haircut & then work.

October 23rd - I called off from work to go to Hershey with Jen for their Halloween thing. It was fun! Didn't have to pay to get in. You basically pay for tickets to go on whatever rides you want or see shows...but it was easier to just buy the wristband which lets you ride all rides & see all shows as many times as you want. It saves money. We started off by doing the traditional ride in Hershey's Chocolate World which shows how they make their candy. That ride reminds me so much of rides at Epcot...I miss WDW!!! Then we went into the park and went all the way to the back of the park to buy our wristbands. I figured there wouldn't really be any lines back there because people all did their thing at the front first. It wasn't really busy back there either. So we did all of the rides we wanted to do in the park except for Storm Runner. Grrrr. We were going to go on it last but they closed it early so we were not able to do it. That was disappointing. We ate dinner at a fast food type place but it was inside. Lucky for that because it was getting cold outside! I ate like a burger, fries, a salad, and chicken tenders I think. PIG! The shows that we saw were a magic show & a dolphin show. The dolphin show was cute as normal but the magic show was kinda gay. It was inside though so it was warmer. We walked through the Zoo in the dark...they called it "Creatures of the Night". We bought a flashlight and really couldn't see much...a lot of the animals were out and about though. Last thing of the night was Haunted Harvest! That was so great & funny! It was 3 different sections of haunted area where you walk through and actors scare you. The one guy scared Jen so bad that I couldn't stop laughing! I actually fell on the ground from laughing so hard. It was so great. Before we left, we bought hot cocoa & smores...the smores were too chocolaty for me though.

October 27th - Jen & I went to the new Friendly's for the first time. It burned down in the summer so they rebuilt it. It's nice but it's just not the same...and they don't have a claw machine anymore! :o( After that, we went to Party City & Walmart looking for a costume for Jen & candy for me. I decided to buy the candy after Halloween though since it would be cheaper.

October 30th - Went to the Turn-In with Jen after work and saw Bobby hanging out there. :-p

October 31st - After work, I changed and went back into the park with Jen since it was the last day it was open. We went on Laser, Steel Force, and Talon. I saw Ashley & Orkie working at Talon. Micah was sittin in the control booth so I hit the window to try and scare him. We also went through the 2 haunted houses and the scare zone. The haunted houses were horribly lame & boring. The magic show was a lot better than the one at Hershey even though the magician scared me with his smiling. But his assistant was the girl from the singing & dancing show that I thought was hot and she went out into the audience and was standing right behind me. Oh yum. Those girls may be bitchy, although I can't confirm that, but very yum. Haha. After Jen left, I waited for everyone else at the lower gates. Then I went to Friendly's when they came out & waited 15 minutes for them to get there. Not many people showed up. Nick, Tek, Micah, 2 people from Talon...and Jon showed up later. The girl that worked at Talon that came was cute...even though Tek says she is really odd. But she has a horrible potty mouth...eh. Our waitress was kinda hot...:-) Tek tried out-eating me but he couldn't. I had a buffalo tender appetizer, salad, burger, fries, and 3 scoop sundae. He had an appetizer, 2 dinners, and a 2 scoop sundae...but he didn't finish tons of his fries and part of his burger. Then they decided they were gonna start telling jokes. Nick starts telling a black joke while a black guy who worked there is a few tables behind us cleaning....it was loud enough for him to hear too! I couldn't help but think that was really funny and I spit my iced tea out all over the place.

November

No, I didn't vote. People want to get all angry at people who don't vote or whatever. Eh. I'm tired of seeing tons of people who have no interest either way pretend like they are hardcore supporters of the candidates & voting in general. I'm not going to vote just for the sake of the voting like so many other people do. It's a joke. You have 2 guys who lie their asses off so does it really matter who gets elected? Last time, the whole voting process was so screwy & fishy with what went on in Florida. And this time, supposedly tons of people are against Bush and for Kerry, along with the rising number of young people who were geared towards Kerry...and Bush won by more than he did last time.

Anyways, other stuff in November. Jen & I went to the Bethlehem Diner one night & I won a Care Bear in the claw machine. We went to KFC another night & some older lady complained that her chicken was yucky so she got a free cake. I should have said mine sucked too because it did. We went out to eat alot, including Pizza Hut where I used my gift certificates. We also watched a few movies. I went to the PBurg mall with Chad one day...it was dead there. We saw some hot cashier at Kohl's. Then when Chad was trying his pants on in the dressing room, I went into the booth next to him and started making weird noises to make him think some guy was in there playing with himself or something. Hehe. I went out with my dad one day to get wood for the door and he jammed it in my car, tearing a bunch of holes on the inside of my roof. :-/ Went to Friendly's with jen that same night and saw a girl that reminded me of Megan...lol...it happens.

On the 21st, I went to Jen's cousin's house for an early Thanksgiving dinner. The one kid that was there was acting like he was 5 years old...I was gonna clock him. I was laying on the bed with a headache & he kept hitting me in the face with a pillow. Then e starts shining a flashlight in my eyes....I wanted to knock his teeth out so bad. He pushes his pregnant girlfriend around....I dunno...they are some strange fuckers.

We went out for our usual Thanksgiving Day lunch with my family. The food was good. PBurg lost to Easton badly...it was pathetic.

Took Jen out to dinner for her birthday at the Newburg Inn. The food was pretty good. They had a salad bar so I was in heaven...anyplace with a salad bar is awesome. We got drinks...I had some frozen chocolate raspberry drink. It was more like a milkshake than anything but it was good. I had chicken alfredo. Yum. I love chicken. It was in a deep dish that Ruby Tuesday had a long time ago for their chicken & shrimp pastas before they got cheap and changed to small dishes for the same price. Grrr! Anyway...after that we went to my house for the night. Jen picked up some Peach Schnapps at the liquor store first but it didn't get us drunk. We didn't have any juice to mix it with. I watched an awesome special on CMT with Shania that was showing all of her videos and they interviewed her and stuff.

On the 30th, Jen stopped over and we went to McDs for dinner...then off to Walmart to buy Spiderman 2!

December 4th - I went to see Finding Neverland. It was pretty good. A little slow at times. Went to the roller rink but it was really crowded so we left and went to Friendlys instead. I was really hungry so I pigged out.

December 5th - I went skating with Jen. I didn't skate at all. I felt like I was going to fall flat on my ass. Plus, they told me I couldn't wear a hat so I just sat and watched...played air hockey & pool a lil before we left. Then we went to the diner and I was a pig.

December 7th - We went to BK for dinner...then my car wouldn't start when we came out. It took a while but I got it going. Went bowling...I got a 66 my first game...how sad. Did ok after that. Went to McDs for a milkshake but their machine was down so I went to Wendys and got a frosty instead.

December 8th - Went to the LV Mall with Jen. I wanted to get some ideas of what to buy her for Christmas.

Last night, we went bowling again...I did kinda bad my first game but got up to 156 my 2nd game so I was happy. A little more practice and I'll be back to my normal self at bowling. :o)

December 29th, 2004 - 2:30 AM

I subscribed to Netflix last week. Got my movies in 1 day, which is faster than I got the Blockbuster DVDs through the mail. I subscribed to that a few months ago but cancelled because it was too slow. This is the 30-day free trial, which I will most likely cancel at the end of the 30 days. If they are going to give free rentals, why not take them? It's better & more convenient to get the monthly rental subscription directly from the Blockbuster store because you take movies back & get new ones on the same day instead of having to wait 3-5 days in between.

Last Friday, I did my last minute Christmas shopping, which I do every year on that day. Unfortunately, nobody told everyone else in the world that it was MY day to shop and they were supposed to stay at home. Blah. Walmart was insane. Couldn't walk without people practically running you over. Aisles were blocked with crowds of people just standing there doing nothing. I got out of there as quickly as I could. The PBurg mall was a little calmer. It was really crowded but not as crazy. I was going to go to church that night but I was really tired. After a short nap, I went to Jen's and exchanged gifts with her. She bought me a shirt, boxers, and some candy. Her mom got me a shirt and a hat.

On Christmas, I did the annual tradition of going to lunch with our entire family. Jen didn't go this year because she had to go and pick up her friend. Lunch was good. Went to my grandmother's after lunch and watched her open her gifts. Later on, I went to Jen's and hung out with her & her friend, Jenn. We watched Shrek 2, Liar Liar, MAD TV, & SNL.

On Sunday, the 2 of them wanted to see Meet the Fockers. So, I drove out to the theater but was 5 minutes late because of very slow traffic. They got there right after me but the line at the ticket window was long and the show was sold out anyway. We drove to the theater in Phillipsburg and watched the movie there instead. It was funny.

December 31st, 2004 - 8:30 AM

Yeah.

So, did you ever feel like, no matter what you do, it will never be good enough? People always seem to find a reason to put me down. Who knows.

And then there are just little things that make me so mad. You have people in this world who are attractive & can get whoever they want. If they are alone for 1 day or they only have 2 girlfriends this week instead of the normal 3, they get all sad and cry about it. And the next day, they have someone. Poor them. Having to suffer those 6 hours without a warm body to press against. I wonder if those people ever realize how good they actually have it. Bleh. Us ugly people get rejected by desperate people...how sad is that??

And then you have people who are down or sad a lot of the time. They complain about their life (as I am doing here) and everyone feels bad and tries to make them feel better. But I get sad just once and people could care less. They say I'm feeling sorry for myself or whatever. Kinda funny how that works to where I'm the only one in the world not allowed to have emotions or else it is me "looking for pity".

Those people can suck dick & choke.

I try to make people happy all of the time but people don't want that.

Girls....they are all the same. They have issues. Too many times, I've heard the "I'm sick of jerks" line. But who do they go after? Yea. When a nice guy comes around, where do they end up? On the outside looking in. And her cycle of frustration & pain from being used continues. And then they wonder why so many guys are assholes....maybe because that's the only way to get any attention.

...I think I have some of the worst luck ever...

But am I going to sit around forever crying about it? No. Am I going to keep being who I am, hoping more people will like that? Nah.

Sure, it's all noble to be the nice guy...the friend...the one who cares. But it gets lonely & cold outside. It's not rewarding. It's a curse. It's pain.

It's over.

Wearing the white hat and being the good guy can get you some fans. It can get you respect. But it doesn't get you much else.

Time to wear the black hat and see how that fits for a while. Time for me to actually start playing this game too.

^^ That's my New Year's Resolution.^^

Have a good one. Be safe. Don't get too drunk to the point where you get used...ah nevermind. Go ahead and do that...I don't care anymore.