It's been a while. Almost a year since I've written in this thing. Alot has happened over the past year. There is way too much for me to write in here so I'm gonna write up a page about the last year and put it on my main page. I can summarize it real quick though. Well, last May I was happily with Jen and trying to become friends with Jackie. I was looking forward to going to a Goo Goo Dolls Concert which I bought a ticket for myself, Jen, and Jackie. That was a mistake. But you can read about that in the expanded version. Here are some of the highlights of the past year:

Jen-Her and I were together for almost 2 years but I ended our relationship in late April of 2001. Maybe I'm stupid, maybe I'm a jerk. She's a really wonderful person but I was having doubts and I think her and I need a break. I hope to remain close to her and who knows, we could get back together again down the road. I honestly don't know. I am just taking things day to day right now.

Jackie-I actually met her out at Dorney cuz she was a lifeguard for the first couple of months of the summer at the water park. It was a brief meeting and aside from seeing her for a second coming off of the Ferris Wheel, I have never seen her again. She's a very attractive girl. But she obviously has no time for me to be in her life.

My summer job at Dorney-Lots of hours...but lots of money. I did it all for the Mickey. I promised Jen I would take her on a trip to Disney World and I did with that money. The summer was pretty nice except for a problm with April, the girl I met at work. I made some friends I guess. I have a major problem with trust now cuz I've been toyed with too many times.

NJ Shore-Jen and I went to the shore for a day and had alot of fun. We swam in the lovely, clean ocean (haha), played tons of games, rode some rides, and ate. I spent a load of money there. We lost a few hours due to getting a flat tire on the way.

Fun Stuff-Jen and I went to Dorney a few times as well as a few concerts. She made me dinner one night when I came home from work but on most nights, I just picked up fast food at like 11pm. I went to Great Adventure in October and then Jen and I went to Walt Disney World for 9 days at the end of November.

Monica-This is a girl who I started talking to in December of '99 and lost touch with last summer. Then we started talking again in October of 2000. I met her in November. Alot has happened since then but I'll get to that later.

OK, so that is a summary of what has been going on this past year. There will be more details when I get around to writing it up. As far as the past few months go, it's been mostly gloomy. I'm working at Dorney Park again this summer and because of what happened last year, I am not and will not put up with any more of the childish head games that girls like to play. If they start trying to screw with my head, I will be forced to do the same to them. Jen and I are no longer together because I thought about seeing other people as well as other problems. If that's a bad thing and I'm a bad person because of it, so be it. I'm just trying to make friends right now and if that leads to more, then fine. I have feelings for 2 girls right now but I don't know how to express or interpret these feelings at all. It really doesn't matter though. Anyways, in January or around that time, I got an email from a girl that works at the park and since then, we've emailed each other alot and they have been long emails. Well, she said alot of positive things in those emails which kinda boosted my confidence up a little. But when it comes to having a real friendship, it seems as though she is not interested. I haven't talked to her at all yet. I dunno what to make of it so I've been upset about that. And then there is another girl who I have met and maybe even risked my relationship with Jen over when I met this girl. I've tried to become better friends with her but it really doesn't look like it is going to happen. I haven't seen her in 6 months now and am starting to realize that alot of the things she said to mee when we first started talking she didn't mean. I am interested in her somewhat but she doesn't want me...I'm sure of it. She is still stuck on her ex I guess. OH well...my fingers hurt so I'm stopping for now.

Tuesday May 15, 2001 - 6:30 PM

Well, I have more to say that I couldn't before. Lately, I haven't been up to much...just working on weekends at the park. I'm working at White Water Landing this year with Kirsten. I worked with her last year and I decided to again this year so I could bother her...LoL. Some people got the idea that I liked her as more than a friend which is not true. I can't really explain why. We just pick on each other all of the time and I don't know if we could ever have a really serious relationship, thus ruling out anything romantic. She doesn't see me as anything more than a friend anyways so it's no big deal. Girls are disappointing me in general though. It seems like any time I have ever liked anyone in my life, they don't feel the same way. It's no different now and probably will never change...I dunno. Jen was probably the only person who ever actually cared about me. I'm beginning to think that most girls aren't worth the time, energy, or emotions. They like to tease and flirt and play their games but the second I show interest, they want nothing to do with me. It irritates the hell out of me! Girls will go out with complete and utter assclowns and do all sorts of things with them but refuse to even talk to me or give me the time of day. Yeah, I'm not good enough for you? Sure....whatever. I've been so upset over the whole situation with Jen because I do care about her but I wanted to try other relationships too...only problem is there are none. The people I had some interest in don't want me cuz I'm not a big enough scum sucking prick for them. Ah well, sometimes I think maybe I should change my attitude and become a "player". The last week or so, it has become much more realistic of an idea. It's what the girls want, right? We'll see...