4 months it's been since I updated this. I've become addicted to a game on the net called Runescape. It takes up most of my online time now. 3 weeks until my birthday! Woo! Actually...ugh. I am getting old so fast. And people constantly bring up that fact lately...it is so irritating.

Sooo...here's a recap of the last 4 months:

January
The snow sucked. Shoveled a lot. Started talking to a few girls online. What a waste of time that was. LoL. Some people are so pathetic & so full of themselves...that's all I will say. When you cry & cry about not being able to find a decent guy but blow of people who ARE nice and only show interest in you as a friend anyways, you deserve everything bad that you get.My car seemed to be dying around this time as well. Jen & I went to Quiznos to try it. Pretty good. Funny stuff. They started making Jen's sub but put the wrong stuff on it so they had to toss it and start over. They got it right the 2nd time but when the girl went to put it through the toaster, she accidentally flipped it on the floor! So...they got in all right on the 3rd try! Haha.

Some thoughts I had in January which could probably go on to my Whatever! page...but I put them here instead:

"A lot going through my mind lately even though I really don't let anyone know that. I'm usually more about trying to get others to feel better rather than looking for sympathy & attention for myself. People get on me for lots of things...if it's not one thing, it's another. But I don't do that to them. I accept people for the way that they are, with whatever flaws are included. I wish more people would do that for me. But most people are selfish, although they would never admit it. They are always about themselves, looking for attention, and having things go the way they want because it best suits them. They rarely care about anyone else. I like people no matter what kinds of bad things they may do or say. I accept them if they have something about them that makes most people look at them like they are a lower form of life. I don't care about your car, your clothes, if you have problems with your family, if you live in an alley...whatever. I'm not like a lot all of these superficial people that make up the majority of our MTV/Abercrombie society nowadays. Why can't people just accept me for the way I am? Why does there always have to be judgement & putting me down for everything I do wrong? It's messed up.

I've dealt with being arrested and accused of something I didn't do. I've dealt with some wackjob chick telling everyone at work that I was stalking her just so she could get attention when the fact was that I never even bothered with her. I've dealt with 2 faced people who tell you they love you one minute and the next, they are cussing you out, calling you all sorts of names because they have some kind of psychological impairment. I'm so sick of this world we live in. I hope I can find more people that like me because I'm nice, caring, generous, and funny. Just because I'm not some CK underwear model and I don't drive some sporty car doesn't mean I'm not a good person. Just because I don't have the money that some people do, the job that some people do, or whatever else it is that makes people so "wonderful", I think I'm a pretty good person. People want to put me down and point out some of my major flaws....go ahead. I'm sick of all of that shit.

I'm so sick of people telling me how to live my life. They complain because I work at Dorney seasonally. So sorry I'm not perfect. So sorry you think I'm a loser with no life and no future. People want to put me down for working there but then have no problem using the money I make from it. They want to put me down for not having a "real" job but when they want to get into the park for free, they have no problem taking my free passes and using them, huh? Yea. Pathetic & hypocritical. I'm sick of people putting me down and making me feel like im a scumbag loser waste of space. I'm not and I don't need that shit and people that make me feel that way in my life. I don't give a fuck if they are family, friends, whatever...I won't deal with people like that. When I leave, I will never bother with them again. If they hate the way I live my life so much then they don't have to be a part of it.

People try to make me feel pathetic because I still live at home. And???? I know people that lived at home when they had a good job until they were almost 30. It doesn't make them a loser. People are so judgemental and think they can put people down over superficial things...it's pathetic. OJ Simpson had his own house and a great job. Michael Jackson has his own ranch. Hell, a lot of people have great jobs and move out when they are young but are still psychos, assholes, or fucktards. So what is your point?? Some people are lucky. They have their entire future planned by the time they are 18. They know what college they want to go to, what career they want to have, and how they want their life to go. Good for them. Some people aren't so fortunate. Some people can't afford to go off to some nice college & party for 4 years even if they did well in high school. Some people don't know what they want to do with their life and/or career even at age 25. Yeah, some of us aren't as privelaged as a lot of the spoiled brats nowadays whose mommy & daddy buy them $40,000 cars, buy them A&F clothes, and send them to expensive universities. So sorry I don't live up to that standard of today's "typical" young American. We can't all be totally "OC" or TRL "types". We can't all afford to move out when we hit 18 and live on our own. So you did it & you struggled. Good for you. I'm proud of you. If you don't put other people down for taking the same path, I am happy for you. But if you are one of those people who criticizes others for being less fortunate or taking longer to move on to the next stage of their life, here's a big FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!! Hope you die...horribly...painfully...asshole. Personality is what makes a person...if you judge someone by other stuff, then you are the one that is a fucktard asshole that has problems...not them. I don't go around pointing out people's flaws and problems or telling them how to live their lives, even though they have better options that will make their life better. I accept people for who they are, who they want to be, and however they want to live their life. I expect people to do the same for me or get the fuck out of my life and don't bother with me. I don't need negativity in my life...had too much of it and it has been undeserved...I won't tolerate it anymore."

February
Don't really remember much. I remember that on Valentine's Day, I decided to do my shopping at the last minute. Haha...I'm so last-minute! The malls were so packed...I guess people don't understand that this is my time to shop, not their's...how silly of them. My quest was more difficult than I thought. I had to buy "The Notebook" on DVD for Jen. I went to the mall and couldn't find it anywhere. Then I went to Walmart and they were sold out there too! Grrr! I finally drove out to K-Mart in Easton and found it...woohoo! I also got her a CD, some candy, and a stuffed animal I think...I can't remember. It was a rainy day. I met Jen at the Olive Garden for dinner & we saw The Wedding Date at the movies. We watched "The Notebook" like a week later. Here's something I wrote on my Xanga:

"Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Hope you all have someone to spend it with, even if it's just a friend or family who loves you. You should have that 365 days a year. Love should be the same all year long...not just 1 day that was made so card companies, candy companies, and florists get good business..."

March & April
Not much. Went down to my aunt's for Easter dinner. April was rather boring. I started training at Dorney. I'm at the new roller coaster, Hydra. Started talking to Lydia again and hung out a few times.

As of right now, I am just looking forward to work so I can get my car fixed and start saving money for other things. I'll try to update this again soon. Byebye.

May 20th, 2005 - 12:30 AM

Not much going on this month. Started hanging out with a girl. Thought something might happen. Don't know right now. Things are busy. We'll see over the nexth month or two. May have lost my best friend. It's my fault...everything is.

Went to Six Flags on Tuesday with Phil and his friend Tyler. Ate at BK before we went into the park. I was worried my car would break on the way down or back but it was good. Kingda Ka wasn't open yet but I guess it's opening this weekend now. I'll have to go down again this summer. We got through mostly everything we wanted aside from Superman. The lines weren't too bad at all. We ate at Wok & Roll for dinner. The chicken was yummy. Phil had to get Steph a duck but we couldn't find any in the stores that were affordable. I told him to rip the head off of the costumed Daffy but that wouldn't have been so good. We found a claw machine in one of the arcades that was full of ducks and Phil got one...almost. It picked the duck up and carried it over to the drop chute but when it released, a thread on the duck hooked on to the claw. Hahaha. The girl that worked there decided to just give him one from storage. On our way home, some Barbie doll in a Mustang flew past us so I kept trying to catch up to her. Did a few times...was going 90-95...but at least it kept me awake.

Was going to get a ticket online last night and go see Star Wars today but Fandango was f---ing up badly. I'll see it soon.

Working at Dorney all weekend long again. Have some decisions to make regarding this job. We shall see...

May 24th, 2005 - 7:00 PM

Today is my birthday. Not all that exciting really. I've spent this day with Jen the past few years but she isn't here now so it's sad. If there was the chance of someone else being in my life, that seems to be non-existant now. Maybe I need some alone time though. I'll be watching my season finales on TV all week and then work starts every day of the week after this weekend. Will see Star Wars tomorrow or Thursday probably. OK, enough of me...later.