Some stuff has happened since early August...

August 6 & 7 - I was chatting online with Lydia and she wanted me to come over to her house and hang out with her. She used various persuasive techniques to get me over there...haha....but I wanted to go anyways. So I went over at like 1:30am. She made me a taco, we watched DVDs all night, and we talked a lot. We started the movie "13 Ghosts" like 3 different times but Lydia thought it was too creepy to watch...haha...so we watched others instead. We started The Lion King & Super Troopers but didn't get through more than 5 minutes of each. Finally, we settled on The Count of Monte Cristo & watched the whole thing. Then she made me breakfast and we watched a couple episodes of the original Survivor. After that, we finally watched 13 Ghosts. Haha. So I called off from work cuz I didn't get any sleep & there was no way I was going in. I slept a few hours on the couch and then her sister came home. Lydia & I went to the Farmer's Market and bought some candy. Then it was off to Burger King for lunch. We hung out in her room, played a lil PS2, and then I took a nap on her bed. Seems I slobbered on her pillow while I slept...lol. We were gonna go to the movies but her boyfriend got mad so we didn't go...I just went home. I never really got to know her until a week or two before that night. Then we hung out that night and I really ended up liking her a lot more than I ever thought I would. It just goes to show that you really need to hang out with someone out of the "work" enviornment in order to see more things in them that you might like. Anyhow...I tried to hang out with her again but her boyfriend was with her on the day we planned to do something. I haven't really spoken to her much since...haven't seen her in 2 months. Between school, band, and her boyfriend, I really don't see much spare time for her to hang out with me.

August 8-14 - I was at Walmart and while waiting in line, a little kid in front of me was sticking his tongue out at me & shaking his head...hehe. On another night, I went McDonalds after work. It took forever for the guy in front of me to order cuz he ordered like 15 things with special requests like "only pickles" on one burger and all sorts of odd things. And then at the pick-up window, they predictably got everything wrong so that took another 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, a car full of asshole punk kids behind me started honking their horn and screaming "Hurry up you bitch!" I had been hoping to hang out with Lydia & Keri during the weekend and then go to 6 Flags with Ashley on Monday. But of course, things didn't work out. The day I was supposed to hang out with Lydia, her boyfriend was there (see above). She said I could hang out with them...umm no. Not only did I not want to be a 3rd wheel but I didn't want to spend time with a guy who was extremely jealous of me, going as far as demanding Lydia not go to the movies with me. I wasn't about to hang out with them, feeling out of place. Keri was busy all that weekend so I was 0 for 2. Then I found out Ashley wasn't going to Six Flags with me...what a wonderful weekend...nobody wants to spend time with me...I feel so fucking loved.

The rest of August was pretty boring. Lydia said I was "too good for her". I don't know why people always say that too me. Maybe it's true...maybe it isn't...but even if it is meant to be a compliment, it hurts because it feels like they are just saying in another way that they don't want me or like me.

August 23 - I finally found someone to go to Six Flags with me. Courtney said she would go. It was a lot of driving for me but I wanted to go. On my way out to her house to pick her up, there was an accident on the other side of the highway. On our drive down, someone in front of me kept swerving over to the side of the road, onto the shoulder. They may have been falling asleep...I dunno. The park was ok...we saw the Dolphin show. That was good. We also saw the Batman stunt show which was lame. We waited in line for 2 hrs for Batman. We realized it was a huge waste of time as Talon is a better ride & we could get on that in 2 minutes. So we didn't get on the big 4 coasters...The Chiller, Medusa, Nitro, or Superman. They were the reason I wanted to go...haha. Courtney told me something kinda upsetting that hurt me after we ate so I was kinda sad after that. I took her home at the end of the night and haven't really heard from her since. Yes...it is confirmed...nobody loves me.

Tidbits from September...

I went to the Pburg Mall & met Keri there...then we ate at Ruby Tuesday. I went to the LV Mall one morning and spent the day hanging out with Magda from work because she wanted to see me again before she went back to Poland. I've been going out to eat a little too much. Jen decided to start hanging out with me again on Sept 10 so that was a good day. On the 17th, we had a huge storm which knocked our power out. I heard lightning blowing the transformers or something at least 12 times. The power was out the whole next day until 10pm. The park was even closed so I didn't have to work that day. On the 26th, I went to Perkins & the waitress brought us cheese sticks instead of the chicken tenders we ordered. So we ended up getting both for the price of one! :-) On the 27th, I found out a girl who I met at Dorney had died in a car accident. I wasn't great friends with her so I'm not going to pretend I was like so many others do. But she was a nice girl...it's sad...see my Dorney page for more on her soon.

Recently, I went bowling and felt so fat & out of shape, it disgusted me. So now I'm exercising more & trying to cut back on what I eat. Not much else to say right now...not too happy but I'll live.

October 11th, 2004 - 4:00 PM

Today I was going to go to Six Flags for the Fright Fest. It's open today...the only weekday it's open for the rest of the season...and it's the only day I can go due to me having to work on the weekend. But, of course, nobody can or will go with me. Well actually, Phil was going to go but his mom wouldn't let him. But nobody else even bothered. All of these friends I supposedly have that I have done things for. All of these people who supposedly care about me. Sure. Next time they want me to do something with them, I'll remember. That's how people are. Selfish fucks that use people. They say they love you, care about you, you're friends, etc. But then when it comes down to them actually doing something for you, showing they care, or proving that they are your "friend", they fail. Actions speak louder than words. I go months or years without seeing these people and they use the word "friend"?? Umm, no. That's not a friend. The people from Dorney talk big...they run their mouths saying they want to be friends with you, you're one of their best friends, blah, blah, blah...but then what happens once Dorney is closed? They go back to their fall/winter life and no longer need you so they blow you off completely. They talk shit about you or stab you in the back. And it's not just Dorney. The other people who said the same shit do exactly the same thing. It's just how people are. 98% of this world is selfish. They use people & do/say whatever they have to in order to benefit THEMSELVES! So....whatever. I'll use them then. They prove that's all they are good for. Every time I call someone, they don't talk long & say they will call back...but they never do. Or they don't answer at all. Yeah...and then people get mad when I don't call them? Wonder why? Anybody know that phones work both ways?? If I'm the only one doing the calling, then I feel like I'm the only one that cares and wants to do something. But people are stupid so they get mad over things like that. And I send emails, IMs, call people asking them to hang out. There is usually either no response or some excuse as to why they can't hang out. Once I can understand...but repeatedly....sure. They are too busy smoking pot, snorting coke, getting drunk, fucking some asshole, or eating cheeseburgers. It's only when all of the drug addicts leave their lives that they have time for me. Am I going to cry about it? No. This is just an explanation. I'm better off without those people. When they end up with nothing but shit in their lives, they can look back and realize that they are the ones who fucked up by blowing me off because I would have been there. When bad things happen to them, they will know they made the wrong choices. That's on them. Their loss if they choose to not have me in their life. They act like they can deal & could care less whether or not they have me around because they have so many other friends...we'll see.

Now...as far as my webpage goes. Some people don't like some of the things that are on it. Tough. It's MY webpage so I will write whatever I want. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's quite simple really. So I talk about girls A LOT. Tough. I am a guy. I am straight. I like females. So I write about them. If that's a problem, don't read. If I talk about other people who may read this...tough. Everything I write is either factual or my opinion...I don't make anything up.

And as funny as it is, despite every horrible thing she has done to me, Megan is still in my head. I don't know why. I should hate her. I've tried. I've tried to forget her. For some reason, I only remember her as she was for the summer of 2002. Everything after that I just try to block out. I had a dream about her a week or so ago. It's horrible. I need her gone. I need an "Eternal Sunshine" memory erase. Ah, who knows...people get mad at me for things having to do with her but I really can't help it that she won't leave. I need an exorcist. I nearly had her gone a year ago & then she had to call me.....UGGHHHHHH! I'll give it time...maybe she'll leave eventually.

October 14th, 2004 - 2:00 AM

On Monday Night, I was in a bad mood and put up an away message saying I was down. So then this guy who has a thing for Jen decided to send me an IM telling me that it was good that I was upset. Eh...whatever. He wanted to start crap I guess because he has this hatred for me because Jen loves me. Jealousy is the dumbest reason in the world to hate someone you don't even know who has done nothing to you. Pathetic. I was gonna lay into him with an intellectually psychological verbal assault but I was a good boy and just didn't talk to him much.

On Tuesday night, Jen & I went to Perkins for dessert. I had a salad also which was gooooood! They smothered it in Ranch dressing...yummy! Jen wanted pumpkin pie but they didn't have any. They never have the pie she wants. So she got apple pie instead & I got a tasty chocolate chipper sundae.

Wednesday was pretty uneventful. I mowed the lawn...that was about it. I'm kinda sad because of the way people treat me but I'll deal. I know there are millions of other people out there that I can become friends with instead & they will be better to me. Plus, I have Jen, who is always there for me no matter what. So I guess things aren't as bad as they seem. Lydia doesn't really show any interest in having anything to do with me anymore. Ashley is the same. Girls I meet at Dorney always turn out the same even though they swear they are different. And Keri said her life is too busy for any kind of social life so she probably wouldn't be able to hang out with me again. But then she is making time to go out on dates and a week or 2 ago, she went out. I'm just not important enough I guess. Whatever.

October 18th, 2004 - 7:00 PM

I was supposed to go out to breakfast with Jen on Thursday but I was too tired so I went up later in the day for lunch. She had already eaten though so we just went to BK and I tried one of their salads. I slept like 15 hrs Thursday night because my eye was bothering me & I wasn't feeling well. Friday night, I got out of work early because of the rain and I was starving. So...we went to Friendlys and I pigged out. My parents went on their cruise Saturday morning so I'm alone for the week. I woke up early Saturday to call work & get my schedule. I didn't have to go in until 3:30 so I went back to sleep for a lil. After work, I went to the diner with Jen. It got busy after we got there. Some guy in the booth behind us was telling the waitress he was in a hurry and ordered his food special like his fries had to be brown & his burger couldn't have any tomato or pickles or anything. Heh. Sunday, I was tired after work. Jen brought me Subway and I watched baseball & then fell asleep. She cleaned my room for me...that was pretty much the night.

October 21st, 2004 - 4:00 AM

Pretty boring week. Went to breakfast with Jen on Wednesday & then came home & napped. Watched baseball...Yankees lost 4 straight games...I LOVE IT! Still trying to connect with people...emails & such. I have a hard time giving up on people. Have things to do later today....haircut, going to Blockbuster, and some other odds and ends.