ELAFA Mailbag

Yes, since the conception of these pages we here at the ELAFA have been getting hate mail. We can't imagine why! We are here to inform and protect the multitudes of hockey fans around the world. Guess some people can't handle the truth! Anyway, scroll down and see what the Filadelffia Phlyers Phans think.

Dear ELAFA,

Who are you people anyway? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Why, I happen to think that Eric is just the sweetest most handsome boy I have ever met. Honey, I would think that your mother would have taught you better, this ELAFA is just plain mean!!!! You need to know that Eric has been really really good to me and many of my friends. We all find his smooth round eights sooo sexy. Because of him, I am proud to stand up and say..I am MAN hear me ROAR!

We also don't get why anyone is interested in this Iggy person who wears those ugly fives with all the nasty sharp corners on them. And why is there sometimes one five and other times two fives? I bet he sometimes gets demoted to one five because of all the nasty ugly hitting, shoving and tripping he does. Why does he pick on Eric so much? Well, you will never see Eric with just one eight.

You people better be careful, there are a lot of us who are out and will fight for Eric's good name. You don't even want to start with a bunch of us Queens in a bad temper and on a righteous mission. We can be meaner than Vidal Sassoon with a case of counterfeit hair products.

Disdainfully, JoeJoe Swishbottom President, Eric Lindros Anti-Defamation League (ELADL)

Dear JoeJoe,

Well, JJ...We're sure your opinion is the same as virtully every Phlyers Phan out there. In fact, it has come to the attention of the ELAFA that Mr. Lindros has a huge "Swishbottom" following all over the country. The ELAFA also doesn't take threats lightly. Watch your back, JoeJoe...watch your back

Regards,

ELAFA

Dear ELAFA,

One day, I went to a webpage about Eric Lindros haters. I read the link that read "Testimonials", and almost fell off my seat laughing. There were stories from parents that made Eric Lindros sound like a cult. The first story read that a kid wore a Lindros shirt and his parents seemed to think that he was siding with Hell or something. Hey, I'd like to grow up like Lindros. If you don't want to be 6'5, 220 lb. and a multi-millionaire, THEN YOU should be the one who has upset parents. In closing, I'd like to say that these stories were made up, and are so far-fetched that this site should be banned.

J.D.

Dear J.D.,

Thank you for your contribution. Please scan through the Bill of Rights and read the First Amendment. I think that's the one that mentions something about freedom of speech. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's the one.

Regards,

ELAFA

When was the last time that Richard Pilon had more points than Eric Lindros, or Lindros tried to take someone's career away, as Pilon does constantly. Please do hate pages about Pilon and/or Kasparitis before Lindros. Bite me,

J.D.

Thank you again, J.D. for writing. The name of the organization is the ELAFA...not the DKAFA or the RPAFA. We now understand what you are thinking, though. Pages such as ours are fine unless it's directed at Eric Lindros.

Regards,

ELAFA

Uh, cute site.....

You hate your congressman, you hate the president, you hate the pope....well maybe not the pope:).....but to hate a hockey player is insanely ludicrus. Did you ever think that the Flyers have a sh***y chemistry on their team? You can put Lemieux and Gretzky on a line with f***ing Trent Klatt and they won't do as well. Lindros plays with such high scoring players as the wiley Dainus Zubrus, the aformentioned crap, er Klatt, even Renberg seemed lost at times due to scoring lapses. What I ask of you is not to completely admire Lindros; no. I would just say that hate is a very strong word and "anti" kind of relays a hate message (although the testimonials are amusing).

Art

p.s. If the Flyers don't win it this year, you might have to alter your website a bit and change the jersey of 8's to another color.

Dear Art,

Thank you for writing. We appreciate your concern and can assure you that we do not hate any politicians. We may occasionally be unhappy with what they are doing, but this site is not for political commentary. We here at the ELAFA definately do not hate the Pope. Nor do we hate Mr. Lindros. We just like to make fun of him to get a rise out of doofuses like you. If you don't mind, in the future could you please refrain from using profanity in your mail? We had to edit the heck out of your letter! We try to keep this site PG-13! And we agree. The Phlyers would still stink with Gretzky and Lemieux.

Regards,

ELAFA

You really need to get a life.

Unlimited Buce

Dear Unlimited

Thank you for writing. We can assure you the ELAFA staffers all have very fulfilling lives. But we appreciate your concern.

Regards,

ELAFA

I can't believe a web site such as this is allowed on the internet. You can't just make fun of people like that it's not right!!! Eric is a nice guy and a great hockey player and he is NOT gay! I will do everything I can to force you to take this site down because it's not right for you to have it up there. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to make fun of people?

Lisa

Dear Lisa,

The wonderful thing about the Internet is that you can pretty much put anything you want up there. It is the responsibility of the viewer to not go to sites that they do not like. Do you watch TV programs you don't like? Do you read books you don't like? Do you read books? Does Mr. Lindros know he has an obsessed-pimply-faced-teeny-bopper-puck-bunny sticking up for him for the whole web to see? Someone should let him know...I'm sure he would be relieved to know that.

Regards,

ELAFA

Disclaimer: This page has been written as a satirical look at the career of Mr. Lindros. In no way are we trying to protray Mr. Lindros as a homosexual or as a leader of any cult of any kind. All "testimonials" contained herein are ficticious. All hate mail, however, is real.