Kids say the darndest things.  Some grade school teachers must
agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things
their students have written in papers.  Here are a few examples:

  - The future of "I give" is "I take."

  - The parts of speech are lungs and air.

  - The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitos.

  - A census taker is man who goes from house to house
    increasing the population.

  - Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
    gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
 
  - (Define H2O and CO2.)  H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold
    water.

  - A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

  - The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

  - A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing
    it through an aviator.
 
  - Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

  - The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

  - The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the
    top and you sit on the bottom.
 
  - We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get
    our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
 
  - One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

  - A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly
    constipated authorities.
 
  - One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

  - To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until 
    it drips into the throat.

  - The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

  - The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

  - Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were
    deeply religious feelings.

  - The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at
    the top and plural at the bottom.
 
  - Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

  - The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up 
    the other.
 
  - In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

  - Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

  - In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

  - A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.


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