The Iron is Hot - Cordelia & Wesley
Pretense
Author: scifichick774
Contact: scifichick774@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Category: Humor/Romance One-shot fic.
Spoilers: Major spoilers for Dear Boy, since it leaps off of a conversation in that episode
Summary: Wesley’s miffed that Cordelia included her salary as a fixed expense, but not his.
Disclaimer: Obviously not mine. I’m just playing with the imaginary characters’ lives for fun and not for profit.
Feedback: Yes please.
Archival: Sure – just let me know where.
Author’s Note: 20 minute fic challenge. AU jump off from first few lines of Cordelia and Wesley’s conversation about lack of money in ‘Dear Boy’. It’s been a while since I’ve written for this fandom or pairing, so hopefully the characters won’t be too OOC, but if they are, you now know why.
“According to my figures, if we are frugal and garner some paying clientele soon, we're financially sound through last Wednesday.”
Wesley frowned and hurriedly grabbed away the paperwork that Cordelia had been poring over before Angel woke up and came down from three days’ worth of sleeping.
“What?” he asked in disbelief, his eyes already scanning the pages. “Where’s it all going?”
“Well, there’s the fixed costs,” Cordelia started. “The mortgage on the giant hotel, my salary – there’s lots of other ---”
“What about my salary?” Wesley interrupted pointedly. “That’s fixed too.”
Cordelia flashed him a bright, but nervous smile. It was a futile argument to engage in since both of them knew there wasn’t enough money to pay either of them – or any money at all for that matter. Why Angel had insisted on buying a previously demon-infested hotel for their base of operations instead of renting some cheap office space in the warehouse district – where most of their dirt-poor clients lived *anyway* - was beyond her.
But as was often the case, irritability over lack of funds was a stronger motivator over the knowledge that neither of them could win the fight and her forced smile faltered under Wesley’s angry glare.
Her expression quickly deteriorated completely, sliding into a sympathetic look before she let out an apologetic sigh.
“I’m sorry, Wes. I wouldn’t have taken any either if my sleazeball landlord wasn’t threatening to evict me for paying my rent late - *again*.”
Wesley’s face softened, but only slightly; his eyes still glowering indignantly at her. He understood the late rent problems as he was currently in the same situation, but that was still no excuse for her selfishness. Not when she lived in a beautiful two bedroom apartment and he lived in a building that should have been condemned years ago.
He heard her sigh again and realized in the back of his mind that she must have been rattling off a drawn out explanation or half-apology the entire time he was wrapped up in his thoughts. A part of him was glad that he hadn’t listened. It would make staying angry with her a lot easier.
“You’re not the only one who has…issues…in that department, Cordelia,” he informed her coolly.
He was sure that any minute now, Angel would jump in and tell them not to fight, so he needed to take full advantage of the small amount of time until that happened. He opened his mouth to continue, but Cordelia cut him off.
“Of course not,” she argued. “Helping the helpless just isn’t a lucrative business. And since Rip Van Winkle over there refuses to take *paying* clients…” she trailed off intentionally, pausing to look over at Angel and see if he would react to the guilt trip she was giving him. He didn’t and she rolled her eyes in frustration as she turned to look back at Wesley. “I’m open to suggestions,” she said dejectedly.
Wesley appeared pensive as he regarded her. The agency’s lack of money wasn’t her fault, and there was little she could do to come up with the funds to pay his own salary when everything had already been spent.
‘Little…but not nothing,’ he thought to himself. “Perhaps you should consider taking on a roommate,” he suggested.
Cordelia’s eyes widened in horror and disgust.
“Are you kidding?! Ewww,” she proclaimed, dramatically letting a shudder sweep through her body to slough off the very idea. “Have you seen the weirdoes that answer those ‘roommate wanted’ ads? All kinds of yuck. And in *this* town? I’d be lucky if I got a human to come look at the place.”
The corners of Wesley’s mouth twitched upward.
“Already tried?” he asked knowingly.
Cordelia pursed her lips and folded her arms across her chest, inadvertently pushing up her bosom so that the upper part of her cleavage was more exposed by the low, tight-fitting scoop-neck blouse she was wearing.
“So?” she retorted childishly, inwardly delighted at the fact that Wesley’s eyes were no longer on hers but fixed on her chest.
Wesley cracked a grin at Cordelia’s comment, but quickly stomped it down after glancing over at Angel. For his charade with Cordelia to be believable, he’d need to stay in character.
He placed his hands on the countertop and leaned slightly forward.
“You have a lovely apartment, Cordelia…”
“Thanks, Wes,” Cordelia said, beaming a bright, surprised smile at him.
“Let me finish,” Wesley replied in an irritated voice, though the sparkle in his eyes gave away his amusement with her reaction. “I was going to say that because of that, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone to rent your spare room. Perhaps you were simply advertising in the wrong places. If you’d like some help, I’m willing to assist you. After all, my knowledge of demons who can pass as humans is more extensive than yours…due to my time in watcher training…I could help you sift through the applicants...”
He left his sentence dangling as Cordelia first arched an eyebrow and then tilted her head to the side as she looked at him appraisingly.
“What about you?” she finally asked.
Angel covertly looked over at his friends. Cordelia couldn’t honestly be suggesting what he thought she was…could she? He grimaced. She was. It was obvious from the set _expression on her face. He let out an inward groan and turned his gaze back to the mug of blood he held in his hands. He knew he shouldn’t get involved; that he should let them work things out for themselves, but if Wesley moved in with Cordelia then he could see the amount of bickering they did easily escalating to uncontrollable levels.
“What about me?” Wesley returned; priding himself on the fact that he managed to ask the question with what sounded like genuine confusion lining his tone.
Angel let out a small breath of relief as he lifted the blood to his lips. Wesley didn’t get it; and from the way they had just been arguing, he didn’t think the former watcher and ‘rogue demon hunter’ would be particularly inclined to take Cordelia up on her offer.
“Well…” Cordelia started, dragging out the word a little and then pausing for effect. “You’re human. And if we split the rent, utilities, and food, then that’ll save a lot of our personal monetary issues.”
Wesley appeared startled.
“You’re suggesting that I move in with you?”
Cordelia shrugged and gave him a small smile.
“You’ve got to admit, my apartment’s a hell of a lot better than that rat trap you live in.”
“Y-yes…b-but…” Wesley stammered and then frowned seriously. “Are you sure about this? There has been a considerable amount of tension in the office as of late. I wouldn’t want to drag that back into our personal lives.”
Cordelia let out a scoffing snort.
“What personal lives?”
The corner of Wesley’s mouth that twitched upward made Cordelia wonder if they were going to be able to get away with this or not and she rapidly shot him a look that silently told him to play along.
Wesley grunted.
“You have a point,” he conceded. He let out a small sigh and gave her a friendly half-grin. “When do you want to do this?”
“Umm…now?” Cordelia suggested. “Seeing as how I’m vision free at the moment and we should probably take advantage of that.”
Wesley nodded a couple of times.
“Indeed,” he said. “Alright. I don’t have a lot of possessions, but we’ll need to rent a small moving truck and get some boxes.” He grabbed Cordelia’s purse from behind the counter and handed it to her before looking over at Angel. “You’ll call us if something comes up?”
Angel appeared as stoic as ever, not belying any of the thoughts or emotions he had over what just transpired.
“Yeah,” he responded, solidifying the decision he made in his mind moments before. The two of them might end up killing each other, but if that was the case then at least he’d get some peace and quiet.
Cordelia and Wesley walked over to the front doors and Cordelia paused for a moment, turning to say goodbye and flitting her hand in the air in a small waving motion. Wesley closed the door behind them after they walked through and Cordelia stopped and turned to face him, gnawing on her lower lip nervously.
“Do you think he bought it?” she asked in an excited, but hushed voice.
Wesley smirked and stepped toward her.
“He certainly seemed to.” He placed his hands on her waist and leaned down to kiss her temple. “You’re a wonderful actress,” he murmured applaudingly against her skin. “But you do realize we’re going to have to tell him sometime, don’t you?”
Cordelia sighed and drew small circles on Wesley’s chest and shoulders with her fingers.
“Yeah, I know,” she said. “I just wish he wasn’t so down on romance. Just because he can’t get any doesn’t mean the rest of us should be deprived. And it would be a lot easier if I didn’t have to pretend not to like you around him.”
“Agreed,” Wesley said, moving his head so his lips brushed against hers and flicking his tongue out to trace the soft crease between them. “Well…” he paused and kissed her. “Since I already moved into your apartment last week…” he kissed her again, letting his lips linger a little longer on hers this time. “Your plan has effectively given us the day off.” His fingers wove into her hair, pulling her closer as their pecking kisses became something considerably more intimate. Slightly out of breath after a few minutes in their heated embrace, he whispered huskily against her still-parted lips. “What would you like to do?”
A sultry grin crept across Cordelia’s face until it settled into a smug smile. She pulled back and then tugged at his arm in the direction of where the car was parked.
“Oh, I’m sure we can think of something,” she said.
***Angel let his head flop down between his shoulders before shaking it a little in exhausted amusement.
Why was it that no one in his office could remember that vampires had enhanced hearing abilities?
The End