PART SIXTEEN

"Eeeww, that’s disgusting! You could spread germs like that!" Ronaldo said as he tried, unsuccessfully, to dodge the flying Jatz. The spitter ignored him and continued letting Jatz biscuits fly from his mouth.

"Wow," Toddy said as he stood by and watched. "He must have a Jatz duct somewhere, he hasn’t put any in his mouth but they keep coming out."

"Yeah, kinda like Ronny’s stupidity duct," Patch muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!" Ronaldo called from within the now giant pile of slightly soggy crackers.

"So fella, who are you?" Toddy asked the man in the ugly red suit.

"My name is The Standboy. And I resent you calling my suit ugly," the man answered when he stopped spitting.

"The Standboy? What kind of stupid name is that?" Toddy asked. "As for your suit, I didn’t say a thing … although it is a little tight isn’t it?"

"I like to show off my figure," The Standboy answered with a superior tone. "And there is nothing wrong with my name. It describes me perfectly because I do nothing more than stand here. And I AM a boy! What are you doing here? This is MY spot!"

"What, this part of the road? I don’t see your fucking name written anywhere," Patch grumbled.

"Well actually it is, right here." The Standboy pointed to a tree. On the trunk was a small red spot, written in this spot were the words ‘The Standboy’ in childish scrawl. Patch just pulled a face and sulked away. He really hated being proven wrong.

Ronaldo finally finished eating his way out of the pile of crackers and came over to join Toddy and The Standboy. He stood and stared at The Standboy, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. Toddy poked him in the ribs.

"Don’t stare!" he whispered.

But Ronny couldn’t help himself. He had never seen anyone like this before. The man who called himself The Standboy stared back, a slight sneer on his face. He looked Ronaldo up and down before sticking his nose in the air and turning back to Toddy.

"I don’t like your friends very much," he said.

"Nah, me neither. But I’m kind of stuck with them, they help keep me employed so that I don’t disappear into the world of really bad television" Toddy said as he stared at Patch who was throwing rocks at a little yellow duckling.

"Hmmmm … I don’t like you very much either."

"That’s fine by me."

The Standboy sneered at Toddy and looked around. He noticed that Ronaldo was still staring at him so he turned towards him.

"What’s your problem?" he asked.

"Huh?" Ronaldo answered.

"What’s wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

"What’s the matter?"

"Huh?"

"WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?"

"Huh?"

"You shit me!" The Standguy said as he walked over to the tree with his name on it. He reached out and touched the red spot and slowly began vanishing. Just before he disappeared totally the three boys heard his final words.

"You stupid men!"

PART SEVENTEEN

So once again the three boys were left standing alone in the middle of the slightly off white brick road after offending yet another of the inhabitants of this strange place. Patch picked up a rock that was lying at his feet and threw it at the tree which bared the name of The Standboy. It hit the red spot right in the middle. Now our three heroes (psycho loonies … same thing really) expected the rock to simply bounce off the tree and land on the ground. They really should have known by now that ‘normal’ things don’t tend to happen in this place. Instead of bouncing off, the rock actually entered the spot, sinking deep into the wood of the tree. The leaves started rustling and shaking and a bird’s nest full of eggs plummeted out of the top of the tree. Suddenly the whole tree exploded, sending bits of red material and Jatz biscuits flying in all direction.

To Be Continued …