"I suppose it all started when I was about 4." Vivien looked up at her shrink to see the look on his face. He was blank and gave no insight to anything, but she was used to this lack of response from him.
"I 'spose its not right to put the blame on anyone, but I'd have to say it was an incident at Kindy that made me believe men were evil."
Dr. Lamore smiled shortly and then maintained his professional look and wrote something down on his paper. Vivien wanted to know what he had written but knew it was 'against his policy.' That had to be the most annoying thing about him.
"Well, the only memory I have of my childhood, my best friend was a boy named Matthew and he and I used to run around and do everything together. One day I asked him if he was going to marry me when we were older and he turned around and pushed me down the slide yelling, NO!" Vivien paused and wondered what Dr. Lamore was thinking.
Dr. Lamore, however, was stifling a laugh and insisted Vivien continue her story.
"That's it really. I don't remember anything apart from, well, you know. And a few moments during my schooling when the teachers told me off. Never my fault of course." Vivien smiled and drifted off remembering her school and the fun she had. Her friends would often make her do stupid things, but at the end of the day, it was all in fun. Her friends had helped her discover her cheeky side.
"The only other reason I can think of, well for my apparent 'hatred' of men, well the obvious. I've told you of him. My, step-father, you know what times I mean." Vivien shuddered as she remembered the nights when he came into her room. She was only 12, but they were the few memories of her childhood that she could recall.
Dr. Lamore pondered for the moment if he should say something, but then abstained. He had obviously felt silence was better, he wanted Vivien to continue, but she seemed shy.
Vivien felt quite ashamed of being so embarrassed about a situation from her youth. She couldn't believe at age 23 she'd still be reluctant at confessing what happened to her. She tried to reassure herself with the honesty that it was hard for her to explain what had occurred those nights. She remembered some flashes of what had taken place, but never the entire story, the more she thought about it, the more of it she could see in her mind, but she didn't want to recollect any of it, so Vivien changed the subject.
"After that I had a few pointless relationships, you know the kind, when you first start High School and want to impress all your friends, so you go out with one boy for a few days and it's the biggest thing ever!" Again Vivien remembered her friends from school and the fun they had. If it weren't for them, boys would have remained her friends and nothing more. But she didn't care about the influences they were; she enjoyed the Girls Company and reminisced, hoping one day they would meet up and catch up.
"I had a few biggies, nothing too serious, I never fell in 'real' love if that's what you're going to ask."
"Hmm…Vivien, define 'real' love."
Vivien looked at Dr Lamore and smiled.
"You know I don't know the answer to that. 'Real' love. Does it even exist? Does love exist? What I meant about never falling in 'real' love, well, I was in lust, you know, using the boys in an attempt to boost my popularity with my girl friends. Not a nice thing to admit. In my opinion, 'real' love doesn't exist, love of money and love of things, but not love of people. That stopped a long time ago."
"Why do you think you feel that people can only love things and not people?"
"Well, you can love a person as a thing, take my step-father for example, I was a thing to him and he showed me by using me. He 'loved' me for sure, but it was what we did, not who I was." "Do you think it is his fault that you don't believe in love, and hate men?"
"Well, firstly, I don't think I hate men, I just dislike the ones that want more than friendship. And I don't believe in love, because, well, I don't! I don't want him to have any affect on me, I turned out how I turned out all because of me, it had nothing to do with my step-father or anyone else for that matter!"
"Your friends from high school, before you met them, what were you like at school?"
Vivien smiled and thought about her answer.
"I was a complete angel, I would never do anything wrong. I got mostly high grades, except for P.E. but I was never much of an athlete."
"And when you started high school, what happened to your grades? Were you as obedient?"
"Well, my grades, I, well, I passed everything, except Science, and P.E. but that had nothing to do with my friends, I slacked off on my own accord. At least I passed the important subjects, Drama and English! And I guess I was a little cheeky to my teachers."
"But that was all you, it had nothing to do with your friends." "I know what you're getting at Dr Lamore, but I am sticking with my story, I was not affected by anyone."
"Not influenced by television, music, friends, school, teachers, your step-father-"
"-Leave him out of this-"
"Sorry Vivien, but basically you were not affected by any of this as you were growing up. Do you want me to believe you just developed into a young lady without even knowing what a young lady was?"
"I knew what a young lady was! I'm not stupid."
"But where did you learn that?"
"My Mum, she always told me I was a young lady in training, and I should always behave. She taught me to have manners and all that stuff."
"But without your mum, you would have still known what a young lady was, right?"
Vivien paused.
"Are you ever wrong?" Vivien glared at him for a moment.
"No." Dr. Lamore smiled and motioned for her to continue.
"Ok, so we know I am wrong. My mum influenced me a lot, she taught me how to grow up and be mature, to be selfish and angry. She taught me how to be an individual and independent. My real dad? Well, he taught me how to work. I got my dedication from him. He taught me how to block everyone out and achieve things without help from anyone. My sister, she taught me how to act around boys. She taught me how to flirt and smile and bat my eyelids in the right fashion. My brother, he taught me how to be rude and cheeky. He taught me how to insult people and how to hurt…"
Dr Lamore wondered if he should stop her, He didn't want Vivien to upset herself but after looking at her face, he realised she was not at all affected by admitting this.
"…And basically how to destroy someone's spirit."
"Did he do that to you?"
"My brother? Of course! Everyday, he let me know what I was worth. Every second word to come out of his mouth was a put down, an insult, something to remind me how stupid and fat and ugly I was. A great influence to have around the home, especially growing up."
"And what about your insecurity? Who did you get that from?"
Vivien looked at him blankly,
"I don't know what you mean by that!" She smiled to let Dr. Lamore know she was joking.
"I have no-one to blame for that, except myself, I spose it could have been what I'd seen from my friends and family, what they'd said to me."
"You can't blame everything on other people Vivien."
"I am not 'blaming' anyone. I am not upset at how I turned out, but I am not entirely happy, but then again, who is?"
Dr. Lamore pondered to think for a moment at Viviens point. She was entirely right! Who is happy? Dr. Lamore could think of nothing else, even though he had never had anything bad happen to him as a child, or while he was growing up or even during his schooling. He was still not happy, he had friends, he had loved, and he had everything he ever wanted yet he was not happy. Vivien looked at Dr. Lamore and wished she knew what was going through his complex mind.
"Well then. If you and I both not happy, let's do something about it!"
Vivien looked at the psychiatrist and wondered which one of them should be in which chair.
"Go out and have fun?"
"Yes!"
"I pay you millions of dollars and you tell me to 'go out and have fun'?" Vivien exaggerated to try and make her point.
Dr. Lamore simply smiled back at her as Viviens face turned from confusion to anger.
"If that is all you can tell me?"
Dr Lamore nodded.
And with that Vivien growled, stood up and left the office in a huff.
Dr. Lamore watched as she departed and smiled. The further away she got the bigger his smile was until he was laughing away.
"Go out and have fun." He thought to himself.
And with that, he got up, loosened his shirt and left his office.
"Cancel my appointments for the rest of the day" Dr. Lamore said to his secretary Miss Gray.
"What?" she looked up in horror.
"You heard me!" he smiled and left the office, yelling after him "I'm going out to have fun!"
And with that, Miss Gray fainted to the sounds of whirring fax machines and slamming doors.

The End

This story can only be explained in a short amount...I was set a task in English, 'write an essay on influences.' My teacher basically said the more personal you delve into your life, the better mark you would get. This annoyed me a lot, so i simply did not do the assignment. I was set another task, this story. I wrote this story quickly and with ease, which surprises me as I am terrible at writing stories!
The ending was written this way because I had gone too far over my word limit, so I cut off the ending and made it stupid and short. I could have had a lot of fun with this story...