How to become a hero
(Really practical tips!)
by Cymbeline Villamin
Women, specifically wives and mothers like us, are more than heroines, we are martyrs… but we say this with a smile. Everyone, really, regardless of gender and age, can be a hero.
But these two bunches of secrets are for us, wives and mothers.
First, we make the "pressure prayer", for instance, when we ask God to make an event happen according to our will, like when I pray, "Please Lord, help my son Joey to complete his junior year in high school; he has withdrawn and reenrolled for the third time, if he does not make it this year, he will be kicked out by the school and he has to transfer and what respectable school will ever accept him again?" Unfortunately, my son had again lost interest for so many reasons and was unable again to complete his junior year. And so I have to shift my prayer gear. I progressed to "permission prayer".
With my "permission prayer", I asked God to help me accept what He is doing to my son's life and to trust Him. I asked Him also what He wants me to do and how am I to deal with this situation, how can I continue being a good mother.
Then we go to another higher level, the "praise prayer." I prayed in praise when my son told me he is bored and tired of living a bum's life and he now wants to go back to school and finish high school and then go to college. He said he wants to be a guidance counselor or a child psychologist to help problematic youth like he had been, because he would understand what teens are going through.
Then there is the "every-minute protective prayer." While we go through our usual routines in the office or at home, we can pray the protective prayers for our children. I love this.
When I serve them meals, I pray that God nourish my children spiritually. When I assist them with their bath needs like handing them the soap and shampoo, I pray that they be spiritually cleansed. While I fold their newly laundered jeans and tshirts, I pray that my children be clothed in righteousness. While pairing their socks in their drawers, I pray that my kids resist going to ungodly places. As I mend their torn jeans, I found myself sewing prayers for the fulfillment of their ambitions and plans, their hearts' innermost desires for the glory of God. I pray that they will have humility and discernment; also faithful and God-loving mates in the future when they are ready for Christian marriage.
What is really our most dreadful problem as wives? Honestly, I think it is boredom and loneliness. Sometimes I myself feel I can die of loneliness. When we are bored and lonely it is so easy to fall into temptation. Many spiritually mature persons know perfectly well how to deal with temptation. Well, it helps to know what science says about it. Think twice before you agree into condemning an adulteress. When people engage in affairs, they are actually seeking a dopamine high. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that abounds when a person is romantically in love, perhaps the same euphoria one experiences when eating chocolates. If not for this dopamine-induced bliss, why would anyone surrender, make a commitment, and plunge into marriage!
Do you think you will ever be tempted into having an extra marital affair? Many of us will respond, "Never! I have a good marriage and strong moral standards!" This is actually an excellent defense but no guarantee against immorality.
The best thing to do is to know and understand ourselves well. We are less likely to stray if we confront our vulnerabilities, like-- "Am I drawn to Richard Gere look-alike appearance, intelligence, fame, position of power, wealth?" Then I can anticipate "red flag" situations. I might as well have ready an arsenal of psychological dynamics and spiritual antidotes.
It is a great life. We perform little acts of heroism everyday-- for our loved ones, for ourselves, and ultimately for God.