As always, thanks to Nessa Owen for her wonderful beta work and advice.
Finishing up their interviews with the hotel staff, Catherine, Sara and Alex made their way out of the hotel and into the parking lot.
"Well, ladies, I'll give you a call when I get the warrant," Alex said, as they neared their vehicles.
"Thanks, Alex," replied Catherine, making her way over to the driver's side of the vehicle.
"Hey babe," he said, grabbing Sara's hand and pulling her over to the side, "how about we grab some breakfast after shift?"
"I can't. I have plans for breakfast already."
"You guys all going to the diner again? Is this another one of those CSI-only breakfasts?" His teasing banter only made it harder for Sara to tell him the truth.
"No." Taking a deep breath and exhaling almost forcefully, she continued, " I, uh, I'm meeting Grissom. He needs to talk to me about something."
"Oh." Alex looked down at where their hands were joined and began to mildly caress the back of hers with his thumb. "Any idea what it's about?"
"Yeah."
"Is it work related?"
"No."
Getting frustrated, he asked, "Are you going to give me more than a one word answer?"
Knowing that Grissom was a worry of his, she was not surprised at his abruptness, but it angered her, nonetheless. "I don't have any answers right now," she snapped. Softening her tone, she added, "We'll talk about it, I promise."
"OK. Sara, I---just, call me later, alright?"
"Do you not want me to go?" she asked, glancing over at Catherine who was watching their exchange from inside the car. Sara wondered if she could hear the conversation as well.
"Go. You guys should talk."
"You're very understanding."
"That's what they say." Seeing him smile, Sara knew the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. When he gave her hand an extra squeeze, she leaned in and gave him a quick, chaste kiss.
"Wow, Sidle. PDA while on the clock. That was a rule-breaker," he teased.
"I know." Smiling, she entered the car.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grissom sat alone at a table in the back corner of the diner, anxiously checking his watch. He knew he was early but his nerves were getting the better of him. Despite the fact that this conversation was the only thing on his mind, he still had no idea what to say and he hoped that she couldn't tell that he was flying by the seat of his pants. He had never fought for a girl before and surely not one that was already involved with another man. This went against all principals.
Looking up, he saw Sara enter through the door. He used the moment that it took her to scan the crowd to summon the courage he needed to talk to her. When Sara finally spotted him she paused before walking over. The look on her face was apprehensive and Grissom's resolve went down a notch. He knew that she had every right to be wary of any personal contact with him, but it still hurt.
"Hey, Grissom," she said, sitting across from him, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "Am I late? How long have you been waiting?"
"No, I was early." Grissom noticed how she didn't quite meet his eyes and how she fidgeted with the sleeve of her jacket. "I've only been here ten minutes."
"Good. I'm glad that you weren't waiting too long." Sara looked up at him then, only to avert her gaze just as quickly. "You…you wanted to talk about something?"
"Yeah," she said, guiltily. "Catherine told me."
Grissom sighed, wavering between anger at the interference and relief that the hard part was already done for him. "I really wish that she'd kept out of this."
"Don't blame Catherine. The only thing she is guilty of is a big mouth. That and not letting anyone else get a word in." Sara's attempt at breaking the ever-growing tension failed. "To be honest, I almost didn't come."
"What made you decide to?"
"I don't know."
"Are you sure?" Her eyes snapped up at that question but she didn't have an answer for him.
"Sara, I have thought about what to say to you and I keep coming up empty-handed. I know what I want to say – but I don't know how. All I know is that I need to do something."
"What is it that you are trying to do?"
The waitress taking their order interrupted their fragile conversation. Uneasiness already taking place, they passed on food and just ordered coffee.
Knowing that this may be his last chance, vagueness was not an option. If he really wanted to have her, he had to be honest. Wrapping his hands around his mug he took a deep breath and spoke. "Win your heart."
"Wow, you don't ask for much. You know, you had my heart."
"I know. I just didn't know what it meant -- didn't know how to treat it properly. "
"And you do now?" Sara's skepticism and disbelief was not lost on Grissom.
"I think so. I know that I passed up many opportunities given to me and though this isn't one of them, I'm taking it anyway." At her confused look he continued. "Sara, don't go away next week."
"What?!"
"I know that you are seeing Det. Vartan, but I'm asking you to think…"
"Exactly, I'm seeing Alex. How fitting is it that you wait until now. I wasn't worth the risk before, so what changed Grissom? Is it because if I say "no" now it can be because of my relationship with Alex? So that the reason we are not together can fall on me? Or do you just really enjoy tormenting me?"
"Honey, that's not it. I know this looks bad. I also know that I took my time getting to this point but I'm here now. I'm not backing away. I realize that I should have asked for your patience instead of assuming I always had it -- and for that, I'm sorry." Reaching over to grab her hand, he searched her face for understanding. "Sara..."
"No." She pulled her hand from his grasp. "Grissom, I can't do this. Why are you making this so hard?"
"If it is so hard then maybe that means it warrants some thought."
"What if I'm happy right now? I'm trying to move on. This is what you wanted---you couldn't do it."
"I never said that." Judging by the look of disbelief and anger on Sara's face, Grissom guessed those were the wrong words to say.
"You said it when you said "no". You said it with every unkind word and show of indifference and you most definitely said it when you decided to confide in a fucking murder suspect rather than talk to me!"
Getting up she placed a few bucks on the table. "I've gotta go."
Following her out the door, Grissom grabbed her elbow. "Sara, wait." Turning her around, he was taken back by the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"I stopped waiting a long time ago."
Grissom watched as she got in her car and drove away. That she had known of his conversation with Dr. Lurie should have come as a surprise, but it only served to help him put the pieces together. He'd hurt her and even though giving up now was not an option, he knew that he just might have lost her for good.
TBC...
